When an Older Partner is Not as Nice-Looking as He Once Was - Stay Positive

Age gap dating, the challenge of getting older (sigh).  For the younger woman, his lines, age marks, wrinkles, and gray hair came way too fast since their first encounter. 

The day you, who are much younger, realized your guy was old, maybe a lot older than you, he may have been shocking to view without his beauty aides, but you kept quiet.  "Where did time go?  What or who had I been looking at all this time?" you might have thought.  He could have thought the same about you too (but I digress).

When dating someone older or married to a person decades older, it is very easy to see what you like about him or her when they are still relatively attractive.  However, time isn't always kind to everyone especially when we age and now what was once appealing isn't.  If your relationship was built on looks, well you might want to start looking for other things you like about that individual other than superficial things as soon as possible.  It is only a matter of time that your older partner will notice that you just aren't that into him like you once were.

Appreciate his great personality.  This doesn't seem to go anywhere when one is still full of energy despite his looks.  Some older people, no matter what the life challenges may be, still manage to thrive.  There is still hope for a relationship when the person works to maintain that shimmering personality.  So close your eyes and embrace all that positive energy he offers!

Share a zest for life.  People who enjoy life, seek all sorts of ways to stay engaged and active.  Check to see that your gentleman is doing just that.  However, if one is turning into a miserable, older person, who doesn't see anything good from one day to the next, this will not only steal what little youthful look he might still have, but cause you to often dream of running away.  Therefore, encourage him to regain his youth, not by living vicariously through you, but enjoying all that life has to offer for himself.

Learn a thing or two about his finances.  He works hard and knows how to manage his money or so you hope.  He has plans and you just might be a part of those plans in the future--good for you both!  Yes, as much as we don't want to look at how much money one makes, it's going to be a challenge when the individual is no longer providing a lavish lifestyle for himself and no one else.  You can be a beacon of light by offering suggestions on saving money rather than spending up his money every chance you get (maybe your not like this, but just in case you have been).  He may not be that attractive anymore, but he knows that his money might still be.  He need not be irresponsible with it to keep you, capice?

Take interest in his hobbies.  Anyone who enjoys doing something other than a partner, well that is awesome!  So this guy has a hobby that is interesting and you could even be a part of helping with his hobby.  If it is reasonable and more, well it doesn't hurt to take interest and ask questions.  He just might be impressed.

Work out.  So things go downhill on the outside, but they don't have to on the inside!  You just might find the mature guy a bit more attractive when you see that body moving weight around or running on the treadmill rather than remaining sedentary for hours.  He might even say, "Not only am I doing this for me, but for you, Babe!"  How sweet!  The gentleman might find you even more attractive because he sees that you care about your body too! 

So you see, there is more than meets the eye!  You can have a great relationship with a guy who unfortunately is having his share of challenges in the looks department.  But when he has all these other wonderful attributes, who cares about looks?

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues.  Check online wherever books are sold.