Tuesday
Chasing Young Women - When the Older Man Has Had Enough
He may have dated many young women, had sex with them, bought them, and kicked them out when they stepped out of line, but as he grows older, he no longer finds them worth chasing. Sure, the rich, older guy has some good memories, enjoyed their company, and learned some new things, but a man who has outgrew loveless relationships and has more important things on his mind, isn't the least bit interested in entertaining or being entertained by young women.
Yet, some women think they can make a fool of an older guy by flashing him with a smile like many have done before, show off yet another pair of boobs, a behind in a tight skirt, long shapely legs, and high heels. They will share their material requests in the hopes that he will honor them. There was that time in his life he would have bedded these young women, gave them some cash, and sent them back home to boyfriends, but not anymore. Times are indeed changing for the older gent.
Sometimes a man doesn't have to experience a mid-life crisis in order to reach a place in his life where he reflects on his haves and have-nots. Rather, he simply ponders on what more he has to do before he closes his eyes. Although he is grateful for those good times of chasing women, he realizes that he has other roles in his life that have fallen by the wayside during those skirt-chasing days. For some men, they have sons that need to see what an honest, upright, confident, and educated man looks like and daughters in need of their fathers. So they know that showing off their weakness for sex wouldn't be a good idea when a boy is ready to become a man while a daughter is trying to learn more about men. Chances are his son has already took in more than a few scents of girls/women and is ready to learn more about what life has to offer besides sex and sports. As for his daughter, she most likely have already cried her first tears over a boy or man. But who is there to teach sons and daughters when an old guy is distracted by trivial things?
Older men, who have various health issues, know that life hasn't been too kind to them during their days of partying. They are well aware that their final days will soon come to an end, so they intend to make the most of them without additional stress coming from young or old women. They hope to live the kind of lifestyle that they and their relatives will no longer feel ashamed about. So they clean up their act, visit a church, read a good book or two, and try to live righteously.
Unsuspecting young women who believe that all they need to do to keep a mature, rich gentleman is dress themselves up and be willing to do what he asks, are surprised when, without notice, their lovers no longer have need of them. They question what might be wrong, wonder if they have done something to offend them, or think their men have met other young women. However, for some of these men they simply have had enough of living a lie or conducting themselves in a way that they no longer find fulfilling. If the young woman should attempt to make the older guy change his mind about a life change, she might catch his wrath. A determined man that desires change, can also be an evil one. He doesn't want to be talked out of how he feels and the things he wants to do without her.
Most men, both young and old, are just not like the way they are portrayed on television screens wanting nothing more than a remote and a hot chick. They really aren't that interested in having their lives dominated by pretty women even though many believe such nonsense. In addition, they are not all that willing to spend their money on someone else either especially once they have retired. An attractive, young woman is like a Christmas tree, she might come out every now and then to be admired, touched, decorated, and more, but she isn't meant to be the center of the mature guy's life on a daily basis particularly when he knows he is unwilling to put the money and time in to keep her looking and feeling beautiful.
Nicholl McGuire
Yet, some women think they can make a fool of an older guy by flashing him with a smile like many have done before, show off yet another pair of boobs, a behind in a tight skirt, long shapely legs, and high heels. They will share their material requests in the hopes that he will honor them. There was that time in his life he would have bedded these young women, gave them some cash, and sent them back home to boyfriends, but not anymore. Times are indeed changing for the older gent.
Sometimes a man doesn't have to experience a mid-life crisis in order to reach a place in his life where he reflects on his haves and have-nots. Rather, he simply ponders on what more he has to do before he closes his eyes. Although he is grateful for those good times of chasing women, he realizes that he has other roles in his life that have fallen by the wayside during those skirt-chasing days. For some men, they have sons that need to see what an honest, upright, confident, and educated man looks like and daughters in need of their fathers. So they know that showing off their weakness for sex wouldn't be a good idea when a boy is ready to become a man while a daughter is trying to learn more about men. Chances are his son has already took in more than a few scents of girls/women and is ready to learn more about what life has to offer besides sex and sports. As for his daughter, she most likely have already cried her first tears over a boy or man. But who is there to teach sons and daughters when an old guy is distracted by trivial things?
Older men, who have various health issues, know that life hasn't been too kind to them during their days of partying. They are well aware that their final days will soon come to an end, so they intend to make the most of them without additional stress coming from young or old women. They hope to live the kind of lifestyle that they and their relatives will no longer feel ashamed about. So they clean up their act, visit a church, read a good book or two, and try to live righteously.
Unsuspecting young women who believe that all they need to do to keep a mature, rich gentleman is dress themselves up and be willing to do what he asks, are surprised when, without notice, their lovers no longer have need of them. They question what might be wrong, wonder if they have done something to offend them, or think their men have met other young women. However, for some of these men they simply have had enough of living a lie or conducting themselves in a way that they no longer find fulfilling. If the young woman should attempt to make the older guy change his mind about a life change, she might catch his wrath. A determined man that desires change, can also be an evil one. He doesn't want to be talked out of how he feels and the things he wants to do without her.
Most men, both young and old, are just not like the way they are portrayed on television screens wanting nothing more than a remote and a hot chick. They really aren't that interested in having their lives dominated by pretty women even though many believe such nonsense. In addition, they are not all that willing to spend their money on someone else either especially once they have retired. An attractive, young woman is like a Christmas tree, she might come out every now and then to be admired, touched, decorated, and more, but she isn't meant to be the center of the mature guy's life on a daily basis particularly when he knows he is unwilling to put the money and time in to keep her looking and feeling beautiful.
Nicholl McGuire
Monday
In and Out of Love with Someone Older
It is a great feeling when you finally meet someone you are compatible with. The individual is mature, attractive, wealthy, and enjoys your company. You are happy with your selection and look forward to the future. Of course, there are those issues that come up as you learn more about a lover--the kind of things that will stop the butterflies from fluttering in your stomach. As a young person, you will discover that as much as you would like to remain in a bubble concerning the mature person you are dating, there will be those not-so appealing things about him or her that will burst your bubble.
Being in love with someone older doesn't have to be one of those things that stops, feelings for someone can go on and on if you let them. If your focus is on the positive and your partner is willing to remain faithful to you, you can continue to be in love. When one is kind and respectful to his or her partner and the actions are reciprocated, then there are no worries about the relationship. But those people in relationships that tend to have many concerns about their age gap partnership is due to the way they are being treated by their mates. If a partner is rude, impatient, unkind, and frugal, then there isn't any wonder why things aren't working out.
To be in love with anyone, not just someone a decade or two older, one must be willing to do the kind of things that will keep a partner interested in being with him or her and vice versa. Yet, for some mature people, they simply don't have the energy or time to devote to another human being after spending years of dating and being married to one or more than a few. As a result, some will not stay interested in being with a young partner for long. Those that are burnt out with relationships and all that comes with them, find them meaningless, temporary, sex tiring, conversation mundane, and so on. It doesn't matter how young, nice or compatible, when a mature person isn't interested in being in a relationship there will be enough signs to let you know. With such a negative view when it comes to settling down with yet another partner, an older person (or young person) experiencing such feelings is far from being in love. If anything, he or she should get out of the relationship as soon as possible before causing anymore damage.
Selfish, negative people steal joy. They don't permit others to love in the way they so desire. They can be difficult, angry people who often disagree, fault-find, and hate various people, places and things for any number of reasons. Unfortunately, the older some people get, the worse they can be. This is why some mature men and women are unable to keep young partners (or those the same age), because they are uncomfortable with the aging process, unhappy with life decisions, and bitter because they didn't accomplish goals over the years. They don't find getting older a good experience especially when a young person is able to remember more things than they, have the patience for new technology, and enjoy learning new things. Some can be quite jealous of young people because they have plenty of time to get things right, so they assume.
Once it is discovered that there are far too many differences in personalities and years, the couple will eventually separate. Whatever drew them together, no longer is strong enough to keep them together.
The process of breaking up might be difficult at first for the older as well as young person, but in time both will be content with knowing they made a good decision. It is never a good idea to stick it out with someone you know you are no longer in love, like or lust with.
Nicholl McGuire
Being in love with someone older doesn't have to be one of those things that stops, feelings for someone can go on and on if you let them. If your focus is on the positive and your partner is willing to remain faithful to you, you can continue to be in love. When one is kind and respectful to his or her partner and the actions are reciprocated, then there are no worries about the relationship. But those people in relationships that tend to have many concerns about their age gap partnership is due to the way they are being treated by their mates. If a partner is rude, impatient, unkind, and frugal, then there isn't any wonder why things aren't working out.
To be in love with anyone, not just someone a decade or two older, one must be willing to do the kind of things that will keep a partner interested in being with him or her and vice versa. Yet, for some mature people, they simply don't have the energy or time to devote to another human being after spending years of dating and being married to one or more than a few. As a result, some will not stay interested in being with a young partner for long. Those that are burnt out with relationships and all that comes with them, find them meaningless, temporary, sex tiring, conversation mundane, and so on. It doesn't matter how young, nice or compatible, when a mature person isn't interested in being in a relationship there will be enough signs to let you know. With such a negative view when it comes to settling down with yet another partner, an older person (or young person) experiencing such feelings is far from being in love. If anything, he or she should get out of the relationship as soon as possible before causing anymore damage.
Selfish, negative people steal joy. They don't permit others to love in the way they so desire. They can be difficult, angry people who often disagree, fault-find, and hate various people, places and things for any number of reasons. Unfortunately, the older some people get, the worse they can be. This is why some mature men and women are unable to keep young partners (or those the same age), because they are uncomfortable with the aging process, unhappy with life decisions, and bitter because they didn't accomplish goals over the years. They don't find getting older a good experience especially when a young person is able to remember more things than they, have the patience for new technology, and enjoy learning new things. Some can be quite jealous of young people because they have plenty of time to get things right, so they assume.
Once it is discovered that there are far too many differences in personalities and years, the couple will eventually separate. Whatever drew them together, no longer is strong enough to keep them together.
The process of breaking up might be difficult at first for the older as well as young person, but in time both will be content with knowing they made a good decision. It is never a good idea to stick it out with someone you know you are no longer in love, like or lust with.
Nicholl McGuire
Sunday
He's Rich, You're Not - So What is the Problem?
Young lady, you don't anticipate any issues when you start off dating a wealthy, older gentleman that has more money than you since you assume you both are in agreement when it comes to your dating arrangement. You supply the rich man's needs (whatever those might be) and he supplies yours. But problems do arise when a successful gentleman continues to spend his cash on you while you continue to happily receive. But what might those issues be?
1. He will begin to think that you are taking advantage of him.
If too many days go by and you are not holding up your end of the bargain, the older gentleman might think you are taking his kindness for weakness. He expects that the arrangement you both agreed to will be fair. If you feel that his demands are too much, you might want to rethink your relationship or arrangement with this individual.
2. He will assume you're just what others had warned him about, "A gold-digger."
Sometimes guilty feelings have a way of catching up to people. You will know that someone is whispering something in his ear negative about you and/or the relationship by the way he treats you. To avoid verbal abuse, blaming, physical harm or anything that might be harmful to you, don't stick around if the guilt-ridden older man has made it plain that he doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer for any number of reasons whether they make sense to you or not. It is better to escape early on then take someone abusing you verbally or physically due to guilt or shame.
3. He will act negatively toward you if he should suddenly take an unexpected financial hit.
Some men just don't do well when it comes to spending, saving, or investing money. Rather than do what is right when it comes to financial planning, they will blame everyone around them hoping to feel better about their mistakes. If you know you are with someone who pretends to do well with money, but from the looks of things you know different, move on especially when he refuses to listen to sound advice.
4. He may grow weary of assisting you financially.
When you start to feel like you are a burden to him, don't ask him for anything, create some distance, and plan to create your own wealth. However, keep this in mind, that if he starts taking from you and you feel unfulfilled, don't hesitate to express how you feel about what he is and isn't doing for you.
5. He might apply pressure on you to do more with your life.
One way a rich man wants you to stay out of his pocket is to encourage you to better yourself. From suggesting you go back to college to telling you about an available position at a local company, the older man wants you to make your own money. This is actually a good thing, because you are able to learn, grow and appreciate life more because you are in control of your own destiny.
As much as a young lady would like to reason that there is nothing wrong with dating a man for his wealth, know that sooner or later his riches will become an issue particularly when you don't have your own.
Nicholl McGuire maintains and contributes to another relationship blog here.
1. He will begin to think that you are taking advantage of him.
If too many days go by and you are not holding up your end of the bargain, the older gentleman might think you are taking his kindness for weakness. He expects that the arrangement you both agreed to will be fair. If you feel that his demands are too much, you might want to rethink your relationship or arrangement with this individual.
2. He will assume you're just what others had warned him about, "A gold-digger."
Sometimes guilty feelings have a way of catching up to people. You will know that someone is whispering something in his ear negative about you and/or the relationship by the way he treats you. To avoid verbal abuse, blaming, physical harm or anything that might be harmful to you, don't stick around if the guilt-ridden older man has made it plain that he doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer for any number of reasons whether they make sense to you or not. It is better to escape early on then take someone abusing you verbally or physically due to guilt or shame.
3. He will act negatively toward you if he should suddenly take an unexpected financial hit.
Some men just don't do well when it comes to spending, saving, or investing money. Rather than do what is right when it comes to financial planning, they will blame everyone around them hoping to feel better about their mistakes. If you know you are with someone who pretends to do well with money, but from the looks of things you know different, move on especially when he refuses to listen to sound advice.
4. He may grow weary of assisting you financially.
When you start to feel like you are a burden to him, don't ask him for anything, create some distance, and plan to create your own wealth. However, keep this in mind, that if he starts taking from you and you feel unfulfilled, don't hesitate to express how you feel about what he is and isn't doing for you.
5. He might apply pressure on you to do more with your life.
One way a rich man wants you to stay out of his pocket is to encourage you to better yourself. From suggesting you go back to college to telling you about an available position at a local company, the older man wants you to make your own money. This is actually a good thing, because you are able to learn, grow and appreciate life more because you are in control of your own destiny.
As much as a young lady would like to reason that there is nothing wrong with dating a man for his wealth, know that sooner or later his riches will become an issue particularly when you don't have your own.
Nicholl McGuire maintains and contributes to another relationship blog here.
Monday
Is Your Family Wrong for Disapproving of Your May-December Relationship?
Let's give your family the benefit of the doubt for a moment whether they said some very ugly things about your older or younger partner or acted strangely when you two came around, what would make them feel the way that they do?
1. Think about the negative things you might have said in the past about your older or younger partner. Did you say the kind of things that feed into stereotypes? Maybe you or your mate complained about not having enough money, who do you think they will blame for your lack? Maybe you mentioned something negative about older men or younger women, so why would you continue to date this person?
2. Do you have a pattern of dating older or younger people and things not working out? Why would your family want to connect with yet another one of your fly by night romances?
3. If you have a child or children by someone else, and that person is still in contact with your family and friends, could that person (or someone else) be causing unnecessary strife behind your back?
4. Be honest, what is this relationship really about? How soon did you meet this person after you broke up with your previous partner? Did you want children? Were you having some kind of life change going on at the time i.e.) mid-life issues, bored with routine, bad breakup/divorce/separation, curious about dating young or older?
5. You are conveying a negative attitude with your family and friends that you are unhappy with your selection. Rather than talking with your partner about relationship ills, you are sharing information that is making your family not want to take your relationship seriously.
Consider these points and other thoughts that come to mind about your relationship. Sometimes family members and friends can see things that we can't see in people. They may recognize some behaviors they may have done to others in the past and don't want you to fall victim. Other times, it is just a matter of personal opinion. There are those people who just don't like looking at the age difference. A gentleman that looks like a young woman's dad or uncle is just not a nice picture for some and they may even go so far as to avoid photographing the two of you together, so just be prepared for the snub this holiday season by a few.
Nicholl McGuire
1. Think about the negative things you might have said in the past about your older or younger partner. Did you say the kind of things that feed into stereotypes? Maybe you or your mate complained about not having enough money, who do you think they will blame for your lack? Maybe you mentioned something negative about older men or younger women, so why would you continue to date this person?
2. Do you have a pattern of dating older or younger people and things not working out? Why would your family want to connect with yet another one of your fly by night romances?
3. If you have a child or children by someone else, and that person is still in contact with your family and friends, could that person (or someone else) be causing unnecessary strife behind your back?
4. Be honest, what is this relationship really about? How soon did you meet this person after you broke up with your previous partner? Did you want children? Were you having some kind of life change going on at the time i.e.) mid-life issues, bored with routine, bad breakup/divorce/separation, curious about dating young or older?
5. You are conveying a negative attitude with your family and friends that you are unhappy with your selection. Rather than talking with your partner about relationship ills, you are sharing information that is making your family not want to take your relationship seriously.
Consider these points and other thoughts that come to mind about your relationship. Sometimes family members and friends can see things that we can't see in people. They may recognize some behaviors they may have done to others in the past and don't want you to fall victim. Other times, it is just a matter of personal opinion. There are those people who just don't like looking at the age difference. A gentleman that looks like a young woman's dad or uncle is just not a nice picture for some and they may even go so far as to avoid photographing the two of you together, so just be prepared for the snub this holiday season by a few.
Nicholl McGuire
Sunday
7 Signs The Older Man Isn't Interested in Dating, But is Really Using You
There are those men who strongly desire a younger companion to have a reasonably normal relationship. But then there are others, who aren't thinking about dating young women (or even girls) seriously, rather they see them as dollar signs that they can pimp, hustle, and play with.
A young woman or a rebellious teen who is not street smart and has very little information when it comes to relating to men will be easily entrapped in a lifestyle that will be difficult to get out of with her mind, body and spirit still intact. Beautiful women have aged rapidly, gone crazy, caught sexually transmitted diseases, had unwanted children, got on welfare rolls, and did things that have negatively impacted their lives as a result of chasing after or being caught by manipulative older men.
If you suspect that a charming, older guy seems to be very interested in you (to the point that it makes you feel nervous or strange,) notice other signs as well.
1. He either ignores your comments about a future relationship with him or pretends he is interested in a relationship with you, but his body language/mannerisms says otherwise.
While showing interest in you, does he also mention things about how he can help you and what he will do for you if you do ABC for him? Does he get close to you when he talks, touches you a lot, and makes you feel a bit uncomfortable? If so, he is already setting the tone of the relationship, he expects you to comply with his wishes by being pushy, controlling, and deceptive.
2. He is eager to introduce you to "some friends."
He seems almost too excited to show you off to his friends. He tells you that you will like them. He boasts about who they are and their connections. He doesn't give you too much information about them, because he doesn't want you poking around the Internet. He may only use nicknames or he may use an existing business (not affiliated with them) to throw you off. You won't find out the truth if you rush into anything. If you wait before jumping in, it won't be long before the liar's true colors will appear. Mention that you would like to share this information about the people and business with a friend from law enforcement, then watch his reaction. Take the time to do some investigative work. And whatever you do, don't drink or eat anything he or "they" offer you and take a relative or friend with you (advise them not to eat or drink anything either) when you go to meet some of his "friends."
3. He offers to buy you a very expensive item without really knowing you yet.
Now why would he be so quick to buy you something? Did you promise sex? If so, then you are putting yourself in a position to make good on the deal. It is never too late to back out, no matter how much he says, "You promised...I thought we had a deal."
4. He puts off meeting your relatives and friends.
Shady men, especially those who grew up where your relatives are from, don't want any parts of them simply because it is a small world. He doesn't want to take a chance bumping into one of your relatives when he knows he has a long troubled track record. He also doesn't want you to know what he is really about. He knows that your family and friends will sound the alarm if they so much as suspect that he is using you.
5. He doesn't want you taking any photos of him, his car, or any pictures inside or around his residence.
Men who have something to hide, don't want it getting out that they are with possibly "the other woman" or a young lady who could be old enough to be his daughter--this is still considered shameful in many circles.
6. He claims that he is being honest with you even though you notice that there are some things off about the stories he tells.
If you performed a background check, there may be some things he says that is inconsistent with what you found. Of course, he will explain things away especially if he isn't who claims to be. Don't permit any man to convince you that what you know as fact is incorrect, inaccurate, or a lie. That's what he wants you to think so that he can continue to manipulate you.
7. He connects you with someone or a group for a so-called job opportunity which really turns out to be something that is offensive, illegal, or strange, then he becomes distant.
You are left in the hands of strangers who will attempt to persuade you to do what they ask and you will be well compensated. However, in time, things will get ugly and you might find yourself entrapped in a lifestyle of being drugged, raped, beaten, and more. Most likely, the older man was given a stipend or some other benefit for recommending you to the person or group.
When you notice some or all of the previously mentioned signs, just know that this is a character that you ought to stay far away from. Individuals like this are only concerned about one thing and that is getting what they want. As much as some of you young ladies reading this would like to believe that charming, too-good-to-be-true types sincerely love and care for you, unfortunately you will learn later that they are users and abusers. With so many beautiful, successful women their own age, you have to ask, why would a seemingly prosperous, mature man choose me? Something is obviously wrong.
Nicholl McGuire, Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
A young woman or a rebellious teen who is not street smart and has very little information when it comes to relating to men will be easily entrapped in a lifestyle that will be difficult to get out of with her mind, body and spirit still intact. Beautiful women have aged rapidly, gone crazy, caught sexually transmitted diseases, had unwanted children, got on welfare rolls, and did things that have negatively impacted their lives as a result of chasing after or being caught by manipulative older men.
If you suspect that a charming, older guy seems to be very interested in you (to the point that it makes you feel nervous or strange,) notice other signs as well.
1. He either ignores your comments about a future relationship with him or pretends he is interested in a relationship with you, but his body language/mannerisms says otherwise.
While showing interest in you, does he also mention things about how he can help you and what he will do for you if you do ABC for him? Does he get close to you when he talks, touches you a lot, and makes you feel a bit uncomfortable? If so, he is already setting the tone of the relationship, he expects you to comply with his wishes by being pushy, controlling, and deceptive.
2. He is eager to introduce you to "some friends."
He seems almost too excited to show you off to his friends. He tells you that you will like them. He boasts about who they are and their connections. He doesn't give you too much information about them, because he doesn't want you poking around the Internet. He may only use nicknames or he may use an existing business (not affiliated with them) to throw you off. You won't find out the truth if you rush into anything. If you wait before jumping in, it won't be long before the liar's true colors will appear. Mention that you would like to share this information about the people and business with a friend from law enforcement, then watch his reaction. Take the time to do some investigative work. And whatever you do, don't drink or eat anything he or "they" offer you and take a relative or friend with you (advise them not to eat or drink anything either) when you go to meet some of his "friends."
3. He offers to buy you a very expensive item without really knowing you yet.
Now why would he be so quick to buy you something? Did you promise sex? If so, then you are putting yourself in a position to make good on the deal. It is never too late to back out, no matter how much he says, "You promised...I thought we had a deal."
4. He puts off meeting your relatives and friends.
Shady men, especially those who grew up where your relatives are from, don't want any parts of them simply because it is a small world. He doesn't want to take a chance bumping into one of your relatives when he knows he has a long troubled track record. He also doesn't want you to know what he is really about. He knows that your family and friends will sound the alarm if they so much as suspect that he is using you.
5. He doesn't want you taking any photos of him, his car, or any pictures inside or around his residence.
Men who have something to hide, don't want it getting out that they are with possibly "the other woman" or a young lady who could be old enough to be his daughter--this is still considered shameful in many circles.
6. He claims that he is being honest with you even though you notice that there are some things off about the stories he tells.
If you performed a background check, there may be some things he says that is inconsistent with what you found. Of course, he will explain things away especially if he isn't who claims to be. Don't permit any man to convince you that what you know as fact is incorrect, inaccurate, or a lie. That's what he wants you to think so that he can continue to manipulate you.
7. He connects you with someone or a group for a so-called job opportunity which really turns out to be something that is offensive, illegal, or strange, then he becomes distant.
You are left in the hands of strangers who will attempt to persuade you to do what they ask and you will be well compensated. However, in time, things will get ugly and you might find yourself entrapped in a lifestyle of being drugged, raped, beaten, and more. Most likely, the older man was given a stipend or some other benefit for recommending you to the person or group.
When you notice some or all of the previously mentioned signs, just know that this is a character that you ought to stay far away from. Individuals like this are only concerned about one thing and that is getting what they want. As much as some of you young ladies reading this would like to believe that charming, too-good-to-be-true types sincerely love and care for you, unfortunately you will learn later that they are users and abusers. With so many beautiful, successful women their own age, you have to ask, why would a seemingly prosperous, mature man choose me? Something is obviously wrong.
Nicholl McGuire, Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
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