Wednesday
Monday
The Man in Denial About Being Old
He considers himself to be young, he chooses not to view himself to be old or getting older. He desires a young woman to make him feel good inside. She is to compliment him, make him smile, introduce him occasionally to what interests young people, be a good listener and a lover. Seems simple enough? Yet, the mature man, who is in denial about age and refuses to date anyone his own age or older, is complicated.
Spend enough time with him and the aging man, who secretly hates getting older, starts to tire of all the attention his younger partner is getting, her interests, conversation and more is very different than his own. Privately, he already knows that he doesn't feel or look as good as he once did and he hates to be reminded of it. So the visits outside the bedroom with his young companion begin to lessen and he chooses to take comfort in his favorite chair at home. He doesn't offer to take his girlfriend or mistress places for he knows what people will think when they pass the pair by. The mature gentleman doesn't bother to have as much sex as he once did, because it is now a chore. He isn't much interested in doing too much of anything when he isn't in denial.
Yet, the older man, who fights the aging process like a boxer fighting another boxer in the ring, will not only deny he is getting older, but he will lose his cool with others who say anything about what he should do now that he is this age and that one. He argues when someone mentions anything about age from looks to feelings. He considers himself to be young for his age and it doesn't help when others inflate his already large ego. He is not the least bit interested in women his own age, he scoffs at the mere mention of sticking with his own age group. He challenges younger men who joke about his aging body. He sulks when he loses. If he is having a crisis of any sort, he refuses to admit it. Family and friends who say that is what he is going through, he rejects them.
So he scrolls the Internet, his phone, talks to young women..."They don't know what they are talking about, " he says. "I'm not old." People are such good liars.
Nicholl McGuire
Spend enough time with him and the aging man, who secretly hates getting older, starts to tire of all the attention his younger partner is getting, her interests, conversation and more is very different than his own. Privately, he already knows that he doesn't feel or look as good as he once did and he hates to be reminded of it. So the visits outside the bedroom with his young companion begin to lessen and he chooses to take comfort in his favorite chair at home. He doesn't offer to take his girlfriend or mistress places for he knows what people will think when they pass the pair by. The mature gentleman doesn't bother to have as much sex as he once did, because it is now a chore. He isn't much interested in doing too much of anything when he isn't in denial.
Yet, the older man, who fights the aging process like a boxer fighting another boxer in the ring, will not only deny he is getting older, but he will lose his cool with others who say anything about what he should do now that he is this age and that one. He argues when someone mentions anything about age from looks to feelings. He considers himself to be young for his age and it doesn't help when others inflate his already large ego. He is not the least bit interested in women his own age, he scoffs at the mere mention of sticking with his own age group. He challenges younger men who joke about his aging body. He sulks when he loses. If he is having a crisis of any sort, he refuses to admit it. Family and friends who say that is what he is going through, he rejects them.
So he scrolls the Internet, his phone, talks to young women..."They don't know what they are talking about, " he says. "I'm not old." People are such good liars.
Nicholl McGuire
Saturday
Warning for the Young Women - The Quiet and Gentle Older Men Who Change
He is kind, patient, and finds the time to do and say nice things for others. The genuinely nice older gentleman is one of the best bachelors. He enjoys his life immensely and the only thing that is missing is a steady companion. When you meet him, you have struck gold! He is loving and wants what is best for you. You both are fortunate to connect with one another and you sincerely hope that your relationship is happy ever after.
Yet, people change and the man you first encountered days, weeks, or years ago is no exception. Life throws a curve ball (financial challenges, difficult exes, bitter children, poor business decisions, etc.) and that quiet and gentle older man slowly turns into a distant older man with a lot on his mind and being in a relationship with his young companion is no longer a consideration. His bodily issues get the best of him, his conversation isn't what it use to be, and he is seemingly disinterested in her and all that is connected with the young lady.
Young women who have dated, married or befriended older men who initially have a quiet and gentle spirit learn sooner or later that they just can't do much with easily distracted and self-absorbed men. You either learn to tolerate them or move on. As much as you would like to have that great guy again, he isn't coming back (at least not on a regular basis). His head, finances, and possibly energy is elsewhere. Sure, you might see that sparkle in his eyes every now and again and may enjoy his company in spurts, but in time he is back to that person you would have never even looked at much less dated.
Older men who change so suddenly or gradually due to life challenges can be difficult for older women too since many mature ladies are also going through their changes (i.e. menopause). The pair don't tend to get along either. This is why for a number of couples they separate or divorce. Things don't get much better between the older men with andropause and the young women with PMS related symptoms and more when the newness wears off too. A grumpy older man is what he is and a young woman going through much is who she is. Neither can positively influence the other for long before one or both grows weary of the other.
So these older, quiet gentle men who appear so warm and friendly, they exist, but beware of the changes ahead if you are younger. However, keep in mind there are those who are mere actors and all that glitters isn't always gold with them. They promise much but in the end, as we all know, many people break promises.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues and other books.
Yet, people change and the man you first encountered days, weeks, or years ago is no exception. Life throws a curve ball (financial challenges, difficult exes, bitter children, poor business decisions, etc.) and that quiet and gentle older man slowly turns into a distant older man with a lot on his mind and being in a relationship with his young companion is no longer a consideration. His bodily issues get the best of him, his conversation isn't what it use to be, and he is seemingly disinterested in her and all that is connected with the young lady.
Young women who have dated, married or befriended older men who initially have a quiet and gentle spirit learn sooner or later that they just can't do much with easily distracted and self-absorbed men. You either learn to tolerate them or move on. As much as you would like to have that great guy again, he isn't coming back (at least not on a regular basis). His head, finances, and possibly energy is elsewhere. Sure, you might see that sparkle in his eyes every now and again and may enjoy his company in spurts, but in time he is back to that person you would have never even looked at much less dated.
Older men who change so suddenly or gradually due to life challenges can be difficult for older women too since many mature ladies are also going through their changes (i.e. menopause). The pair don't tend to get along either. This is why for a number of couples they separate or divorce. Things don't get much better between the older men with andropause and the young women with PMS related symptoms and more when the newness wears off too. A grumpy older man is what he is and a young woman going through much is who she is. Neither can positively influence the other for long before one or both grows weary of the other.
So these older, quiet gentle men who appear so warm and friendly, they exist, but beware of the changes ahead if you are younger. However, keep in mind there are those who are mere actors and all that glitters isn't always gold with them. They promise much but in the end, as we all know, many people break promises.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues and other books.
Wednesday
Exercise and Health - It Makes a Difference
Take a moment and look around, what do you see on TV screens, social networking sites, on the street, and more? Other than the attractive men and women, there are many who have let themselves go. Their faces show that they have been through much. Past break ups, financial challenges, emotional and/or physical pain, workplace issues, and more. Where does all the stress go? It shows up on their bodies. Exercise and maintaining your health is important especially if you are dating or in a serious relationship with someone.
On another blog, I talked about "Midlife Mean" a stage in men's lives that make them easily angered and mistreat partners. If one doesn't take care of his self he will be moody. He also won't make for a good mate/lover/friend and the same is true if you are younger as well.
Daily exercise such as walking, running, tending to household chores, and more will assist with one's health challenges, but he or she must also be willing to eat healthy too and watch his or her portion sizes and the times one chooses to eat and abstain from food too. If you are having some health trouble, do take the time to make a doctor's appointment to find out what might be causing your symptoms.
If you have ever felt quite miserable after eating too much or even too little, you may have experienced a fluctuation in your mood, tiredness, irritability, and more. Staying consistent in your eating and exercise habits as well as taking necessary supplements will uplift you mentally and physically. Your partner will begin to notice a change in you and most likely will want to do similar things.
Part of having a quality relationship with someone is showing them just how much you love and appreciate them, but you also have to do the same for you too! Take care of your body and it will take care of you!
Nicholl McGuire
On another blog, I talked about "Midlife Mean" a stage in men's lives that make them easily angered and mistreat partners. If one doesn't take care of his self he will be moody. He also won't make for a good mate/lover/friend and the same is true if you are younger as well.
Daily exercise such as walking, running, tending to household chores, and more will assist with one's health challenges, but he or she must also be willing to eat healthy too and watch his or her portion sizes and the times one chooses to eat and abstain from food too. If you are having some health trouble, do take the time to make a doctor's appointment to find out what might be causing your symptoms.
If you have ever felt quite miserable after eating too much or even too little, you may have experienced a fluctuation in your mood, tiredness, irritability, and more. Staying consistent in your eating and exercise habits as well as taking necessary supplements will uplift you mentally and physically. Your partner will begin to notice a change in you and most likely will want to do similar things.
Part of having a quality relationship with someone is showing them just how much you love and appreciate them, but you also have to do the same for you too! Take care of your body and it will take care of you!
Nicholl McGuire
Saturday
Disgruntled Ex, Unhappy Dating Younger, Older
They don't like it, they despise it, exes angry that their former partners have moved on with someone younger. They thought that the marriage or relationship was going to last, "meant to be" and then things changed. Now exes are disgruntled, jealous, and even plotting revenge! How does someone in an age gap relationship handle an ex along with the family members and mutual friends who support him or her?
You will need to make it clear you are no longer interested in a relationship with an ex. Some people just don't give up easy, so they will beg, plead, or even make a nuisance of themselves with "Remember when..." stories and "You know you still love me" types of phrases. Yet, the truth is you want to get as far away from an ex as possible, right? If not, don't play mind games with your current partner or else you lose. For example, young, attractive women know they can replace older partners with ease. If an older man is still in love with an ex or is still caught up with an ex's sweet words and other niceties, then he needs to take the time to figure out his situation alone and disconnect from a current partner until he knows what he wants to do. Stringing anyone along who you are unsure of while masking true feelings will cause much stress for the both of you.
Distance yourself emotionally and physically from exes. This takes time but it can be done. Don't discuss your personal life, decisions, or future with an ex. He or she is really not your friend no matter how much you both might say you are. What usually happens is a line or boundary you or an ex established is crossed sooner or later and when this happens whether a former partner was cross with you or flirtatious, you will experience guilty feelings, anger, and most likely will take your suppressed emotions out on your current partner. Your unsuspecting and confused partner will not understand what is going on with you and your behavior just might lead to a major falling out or worse break up.
The phone conversations, invites to a meal, special events, and more cause unnecessary drama for new couples when exes are still around. When you have children with an ex, you can still remain respectful but distant by not sharing details about your new life no matter how nosey or so called "caring" your ex is about you. Oftentimes people use children as an excuse to keep an ex close or keep some kind of control over them. Don't fall for the manipulation, rise above it and consult with an attorney or law enforcement if your ex is acting abusively or threatening to you or your new partner.
A new partner is only able to tolerate so much from a former partner or many. You shouldn't expect him or her to be understanding when you still have unresolved issues with an ex or exes. Always take care of your problems before you enter a new relationship and manage them while you are in one. New relationships are challenging enough and the last thing anyone wants is a disgruntled, miserable, seductive, or vengeful ex around.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy. Get your copy today!
You will need to make it clear you are no longer interested in a relationship with an ex. Some people just don't give up easy, so they will beg, plead, or even make a nuisance of themselves with "Remember when..." stories and "You know you still love me" types of phrases. Yet, the truth is you want to get as far away from an ex as possible, right? If not, don't play mind games with your current partner or else you lose. For example, young, attractive women know they can replace older partners with ease. If an older man is still in love with an ex or is still caught up with an ex's sweet words and other niceties, then he needs to take the time to figure out his situation alone and disconnect from a current partner until he knows what he wants to do. Stringing anyone along who you are unsure of while masking true feelings will cause much stress for the both of you.
Distance yourself emotionally and physically from exes. This takes time but it can be done. Don't discuss your personal life, decisions, or future with an ex. He or she is really not your friend no matter how much you both might say you are. What usually happens is a line or boundary you or an ex established is crossed sooner or later and when this happens whether a former partner was cross with you or flirtatious, you will experience guilty feelings, anger, and most likely will take your suppressed emotions out on your current partner. Your unsuspecting and confused partner will not understand what is going on with you and your behavior just might lead to a major falling out or worse break up.
The phone conversations, invites to a meal, special events, and more cause unnecessary drama for new couples when exes are still around. When you have children with an ex, you can still remain respectful but distant by not sharing details about your new life no matter how nosey or so called "caring" your ex is about you. Oftentimes people use children as an excuse to keep an ex close or keep some kind of control over them. Don't fall for the manipulation, rise above it and consult with an attorney or law enforcement if your ex is acting abusively or threatening to you or your new partner.
A new partner is only able to tolerate so much from a former partner or many. You shouldn't expect him or her to be understanding when you still have unresolved issues with an ex or exes. Always take care of your problems before you enter a new relationship and manage them while you are in one. New relationships are challenging enough and the last thing anyone wants is a disgruntled, miserable, seductive, or vengeful ex around.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy. Get your copy today!
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