There is no age on love. When you love someone you just do, there are no disclaimers, no shallow reasons, and no convincing oneself through affirmations! You aren't focused on what the person looks like; rather you are more concerned with how your special someone makes you feel. However, when the person isn't doing his or her part to make you feel special, you will begin to see flaws--all of them. In time, the person's weaknesses become what's important rather than everything else if you don't keep things in proper perspective--you aren't perfect either!
An older man may have his own personal identity crisis due to the aging process complete with erratic hormone levels and the like. Sometimes he takes his issues out on his youthful beauty, other times he doesn't. Problems arise in the relationship when there is the up and down roller coaster ride of emotions that might be triggered for any number of reasons. One day the mature man is confident in the relationship the next, he is not. Although age might not be a factor (just yet) with the young woman, it may be an issue with him. The young woman isn't aging as quickly as the older man. She isn't experiencing any mid-life crisis. She has very few, if any, unresolved issues from the past. Her debt isn't any where near his. Jealousy just might rear it's ugly head with some insecure, older men.
Witnesses who interact with the couple might see some things that they don't see in the couple's relationship. If the older man is acting in ways that make the young woman consider things like breaking up, there is cause for concern. Despite her youthful age and look, she might be feeling like the trouble of being with someone older just isn't worth it no matter how much money, notoriety or other things her older partner might have.
If you find yourself going through a myriad of emotions related to his age, think about whether dating an older man with his own set of personal hangups is really something you can tolerate long-term in addition to everything else you might be dealing with in your life.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
When a Relative Says " No Way" to Dating the Old Dude
Not everyone in the family will be supportive of a young woman dating an older fellow. When this happens, it makes it difficult to focus on the relationship. Male relatives can be overprotective and even threatening when it comes to their loved one going out with the "old dude" they may even wish death upon him for coming into their young relative's life.
Any man who sincerely wants to be in a relationship with someone will fight to be with his partner, but he won't be a fool to stay when all hell is breaking lose because of his mere existence. One would be wise to determine what type of fight will he be fighting and how long in order to stay with his young date. He will also need to observe his young partner's mannerisms whe dealing with family. She may still be too young mentally to handle being in a relationship with a mature man and too fearful to stand up to family.
Threats of violence from the woman's family members and friends just isn't worth it although some men enjoy a challenge. However, one would be better off waiting until the young woman is independent and away from troubled relatives. If she is in love and genuinely cares for her older man, she must understand that he is not going to keep putting his life at risk to be with her--no matter how beautiful she might be. Chances are a relative or friend may have warned him to go away or else.
"The old dude" is typically hated by one or a few relatives simply because he may have done some things to the young woman that she shared with relatives who were supposed to keep quiet about, but didn't. They don't like "the old dude" for good reason even if all parties don't know what about.
Sometimes the older man did nothing during the dating process to hurt the young lady, but just the sight of an aging man going out with the young, attractive person just might be too much to bear for some. Thoughts might be, "What does he want with my daughter/niece/sister/cousin? Who does he think he is showing up at my doorstep...I know his type!?" That type might be like the one questioning the relationship, a liar, cheat, pimp, player type. It takes one, to know one.
The couple will want to consider the family's objections; however, don't permit loved ones to dominate one's choice in a partner. Maybe there are some things that they see in one or both individuals that are a sincere cause for concern.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains and contributes to the blog: Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. and Relationship Advice.
Any man who sincerely wants to be in a relationship with someone will fight to be with his partner, but he won't be a fool to stay when all hell is breaking lose because of his mere existence. One would be wise to determine what type of fight will he be fighting and how long in order to stay with his young date. He will also need to observe his young partner's mannerisms whe dealing with family. She may still be too young mentally to handle being in a relationship with a mature man and too fearful to stand up to family.
Threats of violence from the woman's family members and friends just isn't worth it although some men enjoy a challenge. However, one would be better off waiting until the young woman is independent and away from troubled relatives. If she is in love and genuinely cares for her older man, she must understand that he is not going to keep putting his life at risk to be with her--no matter how beautiful she might be. Chances are a relative or friend may have warned him to go away or else.
"The old dude" is typically hated by one or a few relatives simply because he may have done some things to the young woman that she shared with relatives who were supposed to keep quiet about, but didn't. They don't like "the old dude" for good reason even if all parties don't know what about.
Sometimes the older man did nothing during the dating process to hurt the young lady, but just the sight of an aging man going out with the young, attractive person just might be too much to bear for some. Thoughts might be, "What does he want with my daughter/niece/sister/cousin? Who does he think he is showing up at my doorstep...I know his type!?" That type might be like the one questioning the relationship, a liar, cheat, pimp, player type. It takes one, to know one.
The couple will want to consider the family's objections; however, don't permit loved ones to dominate one's choice in a partner. Maybe there are some things that they see in one or both individuals that are a sincere cause for concern.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains and contributes to the blog: Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. and Relationship Advice.
Tuesday
Understand a Father Daughter Relationship Before You Date a Young Woman
If the young woman doesn't feel love from her own father, she may be a problem for you. A good father raises his daughter to be self-reliant, spiritual, loving, etc. If she isn't interested in being controlled, reliant on you, and has a faith, be grateful for that! Don't fight her on it. If her dad is protective, he has good reason. Check your own relationship with your daughter or the one you never had. Could you be involved with a young woman because you really desire a quality father daughter relationship?
Saturday
Young Woman You Wanted a Rich Man
So you decided to pursue a man with riches. You placed yourself at the right place at the right time whether on or off the Internet. However, now you have some thoughts about who he is and all that comes with him that aren't so positive. Well, when this sort of thing happens; take a step back. You will need to re-evaluate whether you are willing to compromise personal beliefs, make yourself available more than you want to, and other things to keep that rich man in your life.
There is more to life than money, but for some women, whether young or old, that is all they think about. "How much can I get out of him? I need this paid...what will I have to do to get him to pay for it?" These thoughts and others can create unnecessary stress. Worrying over how to get someone to do something for you can be burdensome. How much do you trust yourself to get what you want? How much do you value you? If your date is so rich, why do you feel the need to have to jump through hoops to get him to help you? When you find yourself thinking more about his riches and less about the man himself, there is a problem--a big problem. Sooner or later you will start to dislike who you are because you secretly feel the way you do about the rich man and his riches. In addition, you just might lose interest in the rich man if he starts rejecting you often. Keep in mind, he will be watching to see if you are indeed interested in him or his money like so many others do.
You may have to tweak some things about you so that you can honestly have a great relationship free of the complications that money and sex can bring. Maybe you need to get out more, pursue hobbies, take classes, or do other things to make you more interesting. Often young women become insecure, controlling, and rude when they feel their position in a rich man's life is being threatened. These issues could be avoided had these women started a relationship with the rich man for the right reasons. A rich man will also need to think about whether he wants more with his young partner in the future, because he knows that in time, there is the possibility that she might want more with him.
Being with a rich man isn't easy. For purposes of this article, rich isn't defined by how much money a man makes only, but everything else that he has as well. A rich man could have many assets, people around him he works with, talents, hobbies, a great personality, and more. The wealthy man shows no evidence of being poor in much of anything. For a young woman who doesn't have much, his lifestyle can be overwhelming and intimidating. Immature women who aren't use to dating rich men can act strangely, rebel, and have temper tantrums like children. If you or someone you know is acting in ways that is causing a rich date to act more like a father figure than a lover, than the relationship will most likely be headed toward a dead-end.
Embrace all that comes with the rich man good, bad, and ugly only if you are accepting of his ways, the people around him, and goods. However, if you know that you are losing your identity and what you stand for while dating such a person, then back off. Maybe he just isn't the answer to your prayers that you thought.
Nicholl McGuire
There is more to life than money, but for some women, whether young or old, that is all they think about. "How much can I get out of him? I need this paid...what will I have to do to get him to pay for it?" These thoughts and others can create unnecessary stress. Worrying over how to get someone to do something for you can be burdensome. How much do you trust yourself to get what you want? How much do you value you? If your date is so rich, why do you feel the need to have to jump through hoops to get him to help you? When you find yourself thinking more about his riches and less about the man himself, there is a problem--a big problem. Sooner or later you will start to dislike who you are because you secretly feel the way you do about the rich man and his riches. In addition, you just might lose interest in the rich man if he starts rejecting you often. Keep in mind, he will be watching to see if you are indeed interested in him or his money like so many others do.
You may have to tweak some things about you so that you can honestly have a great relationship free of the complications that money and sex can bring. Maybe you need to get out more, pursue hobbies, take classes, or do other things to make you more interesting. Often young women become insecure, controlling, and rude when they feel their position in a rich man's life is being threatened. These issues could be avoided had these women started a relationship with the rich man for the right reasons. A rich man will also need to think about whether he wants more with his young partner in the future, because he knows that in time, there is the possibility that she might want more with him.
Being with a rich man isn't easy. For purposes of this article, rich isn't defined by how much money a man makes only, but everything else that he has as well. A rich man could have many assets, people around him he works with, talents, hobbies, a great personality, and more. The wealthy man shows no evidence of being poor in much of anything. For a young woman who doesn't have much, his lifestyle can be overwhelming and intimidating. Immature women who aren't use to dating rich men can act strangely, rebel, and have temper tantrums like children. If you or someone you know is acting in ways that is causing a rich date to act more like a father figure than a lover, than the relationship will most likely be headed toward a dead-end.
Embrace all that comes with the rich man good, bad, and ugly only if you are accepting of his ways, the people around him, and goods. However, if you know that you are losing your identity and what you stand for while dating such a person, then back off. Maybe he just isn't the answer to your prayers that you thought.
Nicholl McGuire
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