So you tried dating older, younger, close to your own age, and every number in between but this dating stuff is wearing you out, besides you are with someone right now that you aren't completely sold on. When you feel this way, time to fall back.
It takes time, money and energy to date as you very well know. But sometimes other demands in life get the best of us and then those issues start trickling over into our dating experiences. Other times we simply don't want to be bothered with dating, but we will go ahead with a romance just because we don't want to hurt someone's feelings. However, sooner rather than later, a date may pick up on our lack of interest and jump ship or stick around and begin to annoy us until we make a move. It is better to cut one's losses early then to string people along especially those who are younger or older.
A man who is in his midlife years is typically looking for someone who is going to keep him company and stick around for awhile. He realizes the importance of life and values his years hoping to finally find happiness in his personal life. The mature man may not be interested in marriage, but desire all the things that being in a committed relationship may bring. But, this is a selfish motive especially if he chooses to continue to date a younger woman who hopes to get married and have children one day. She will be hurt, confused, and possibly scarred for the rest of her life, if the older man doesn't do what's right and share how he truly feels and why a long term relationship with him just isn't going to work.
As for the younger woman, she most likely feels like she has a lot of years ahead to find her true love so she may not settle with the older man, but then again there is always that possibility that she will stick around if he treats her well. She may fight feelings of wanting to let him go, but she may put on act in the meantime until she is sure. Now if a younger woman chooses to date an older man for reasons other than the typical companionship, sex, new experience, security, etc. then there may be something more going on with her than meets the eye. It isn't any wonder that someone dating her doesn't know what to think of the relationship. There is always someone who breaks the mold.
Both younger and older dates, like any other date, have their reasons why they think a romance is a bust, not worth pursuing right now, or okay but without or with the sex depending on the agreement between the couple. But whatever you think you want or don't want from your date, be clear about it. For example, "I am no longer interested in a romantic relationship...I think it is best we part ways because I can't give you what you want...I realize we are not a match...I prefer to focus on XYZ and have no desire to date anymore."
Avoid the temptation to pretend like things are okay when they are not. People who fake like there is a future with someone will be found out and when that happens don't be surprised if Crazy shows up and shows out especially if you say things like, "I love you...I want to keep having sex...Live with me...Don't leave me...Give me sometime to think about things." Crazy will yell, "So all this time you have been leading me on? You never really wanted me, you just wanted to use me! You don't love me, you love my...I outta call your wife! Better yet, tell everyone you know what I think of you!" Uh oh.
So when you are ready to stop dating someone:
1. Do it gradually. Less phone calls, dates, and avoid taking this person around your family and friends.
2. Be sure you are no longer leaving things over this person's home.
3. Don't tell his or her relatives, friends or co-workers how you truly feel.
4. Contact someone if you feel like your date will act violently toward you. Record your conversation, meet in a public area, or have a police escort come with you to the residence.
5. If the person begins to stalk you, leave a photo with the security personnel at your workplace and tell them you wish not to be contacted by this person. Alert your family and friends you are no longer seeing this person. If need be, get a Protection From Abuse form from your local police department and also take one out in the community where your date resides.
6. Keep track of dates and times your date as showed up unannounced at your job, home, and also contacted you by voicemail, email, snail mail, text, online chat, etc.
Be wise and try to maintain your cool as much as possible when ending a relationship.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains this dating blog as well, click here.
Tuesday
5 Things About Older Men No Woman Likes
So you got her, but can you keep her? The younger, intelligent woman is not going to spend the best years of her life committed to a mature man who just can't seem to understand why some things he does or doesn't do are deal breakers. If you love her, you will do what is right--without the excuse-making, blame game, reverse psychology tactics, and emotional or physical abuse. No sane woman is going to tolerate the following forever and always! Sooner or later she is going to take a stand, so rather than listen to her rant, pay attention and make needed changes.
1. Men who don't keep themselves up ie.) take daily showers, cut hair, etc.
Would you want to smell a nasty body odor from your partner or look at her disheveled hair often? Of course not. You would say something to her wouldn't you. So what makes you think she wants to keep tolerating some things about you that you have obviously let go?
2. Men who are users and abusers.
How long will you ask her to give you something, make this, or do that before she becomes visibly upset? Do as much as you can on your own, without her assistance, and maybe you won't look like you are using and abusing her. As one woman once shared with me about doing for men, "Iron wears out." A woman will grow weary of being nice to you when you don't bother to appreciate her and do what she likes sometimes without resistance. Men have said similar things--it takes two to tango, my friend. Would you like to be used and abused by her?
3. Men who lie or exaggerate about things like: who they know, where they have been, and what happened while there.
If you can't help her, don't hurt her with lies and exaggerations. Some women are vengeful--they hold alot in before they unleash their wrath--what you thought you got away with five days ago or even five years ago just might come back to haunt you, so tell the truth!
4. Men who say one thing and do another. ie.) He says he likes to go places, but in reality he is a couch potato.
When you have dated much, there are some things that you should know by now when it comes to women, like not telling your date you love her when you really don't know what you feel or making yourself out to be someone that you really aren't, like a rich big shot--yeah right. Meanwhile, the reality is you are in over your head in debt and you hope your date offers to pay sometime. Be open!
5. Men who have little room in their lives for a committed relationship.
As much as you would like to date that special someone, the truth is you barely have enough time to clip your toenails. Seriously, re-think dating a young woman when you know you have little time and patience. She will desire your attention and affection and if you can't give it to her, there will be someone else (most likely younger than you) that will fulfill that void one day. Think before you take the leap!
These five tips are just a start on the right track when it comes to dating and keeping a young woman, I'm sure you can think of five more. So do take the time to better yourself before arguments get out of hand.
Nicholl McGuire
1. Men who don't keep themselves up ie.) take daily showers, cut hair, etc.
Would you want to smell a nasty body odor from your partner or look at her disheveled hair often? Of course not. You would say something to her wouldn't you. So what makes you think she wants to keep tolerating some things about you that you have obviously let go?
2. Men who are users and abusers.
How long will you ask her to give you something, make this, or do that before she becomes visibly upset? Do as much as you can on your own, without her assistance, and maybe you won't look like you are using and abusing her. As one woman once shared with me about doing for men, "Iron wears out." A woman will grow weary of being nice to you when you don't bother to appreciate her and do what she likes sometimes without resistance. Men have said similar things--it takes two to tango, my friend. Would you like to be used and abused by her?
3. Men who lie or exaggerate about things like: who they know, where they have been, and what happened while there.
If you can't help her, don't hurt her with lies and exaggerations. Some women are vengeful--they hold alot in before they unleash their wrath--what you thought you got away with five days ago or even five years ago just might come back to haunt you, so tell the truth!
4. Men who say one thing and do another. ie.) He says he likes to go places, but in reality he is a couch potato.
When you have dated much, there are some things that you should know by now when it comes to women, like not telling your date you love her when you really don't know what you feel or making yourself out to be someone that you really aren't, like a rich big shot--yeah right. Meanwhile, the reality is you are in over your head in debt and you hope your date offers to pay sometime. Be open!
5. Men who have little room in their lives for a committed relationship.
As much as you would like to date that special someone, the truth is you barely have enough time to clip your toenails. Seriously, re-think dating a young woman when you know you have little time and patience. She will desire your attention and affection and if you can't give it to her, there will be someone else (most likely younger than you) that will fulfill that void one day. Think before you take the leap!
These five tips are just a start on the right track when it comes to dating and keeping a young woman, I'm sure you can think of five more. So do take the time to better yourself before arguments get out of hand.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
When the Fashionably Dressed Older Man Overcompensates for His Lack
When young and older men sit back and admire a fellow brother who appears to be very successful, happy, and has many women who like him, what they don't readily see are his weaknesses and neither do those women who think he is a good catch.
Far too many young women, as well as older ones, are caught with a charming smile, false promises, and more because they fail to see manipulative tactics by deceptive older men. Like young men, who look up to players, pimps, and hustlers, foolish women are taken by the gentleman's decor used to entice the naive, gullible, materialistic, and others who wish to walk in or beside his shoes.
The designer labels, the fat leather wallet, eye-catching jewelry, expensive cars, a big home, and other feel-good items are nothing more than distractions that lead many people away from truth. It is very hard for one to see whether Mr. Right Now is more like Mr. Right Never Ever.
The young woman, captivated by an admirer's lustful desires, fails to see the signs that an older man is past his prime and may not satisfy her like a man her own age. She deceives herself into thinking she is attracted to him because "He said that he would give me...He promised that he would buy me... He told me that he loved me..." when the reality is that this older man is deceiving his fans with charms that lead many women to Heartbreak Hotel.
Many older men have been dismissed as future long-term mates by observant, mature women, because they saw early on through these manipulative men's lies. So he goes out to the local mall and elsewhere buying yet another item he doesn't need to make himself happy while seeking yet another woman who will stick around and give him what he wants before she notices his flaws.
Now some of the mature man's weaknesses are noticeable while others not so much. Some women learn the hard way that there are those men who are physically broken--lacking in something here, there or everywhere! One would think a man who knows he can't get along with or keep a woman for a variety of reasons would just settle with being alone, but not the determined mature man who thinks he still has what it takes from 10, 15 or 20 plus years ago!
The reality that he can't keep up with a younger woman or connect with women in his own age group soon affects various areas of his life from finances to location. He thinks, "What can I do to make them like me?" Some older men will dress up their broken bodies in the finest garments--especially those individuals who refuse to do things like: take necessary medicines/supplements for their conditions, work out, or seek a professional therapist for past issues. They believe that their next victim won't notice things like: a moody temperament, a terrible odor that comes and goes, impotence, tiredness, and strange behaviors. Other mature men will buy gadgets and go places they think will impress their love interests. While some will simply do nothing but run their mouths in the hopes that they can get a quickie from someone who might be having a similar hormonal high.
A man who really wants love in his life must come to terms with the truth about himself. Dressing one's self in the latest fashions may draw some honeybees, but how long they stay is up in the air. If you are experiencing some free time after breaking up with someone, consider looking at yourself in the mirror, sniff around, observe your environment, and pay close attention to what those closest to you have warned, a body that is crying out for love and peace needs more than just another item to cover it or keep it entertained.
Nicholl McGuire, creator of this blog. Thank you for visiting!
Far too many young women, as well as older ones, are caught with a charming smile, false promises, and more because they fail to see manipulative tactics by deceptive older men. Like young men, who look up to players, pimps, and hustlers, foolish women are taken by the gentleman's decor used to entice the naive, gullible, materialistic, and others who wish to walk in or beside his shoes.
The designer labels, the fat leather wallet, eye-catching jewelry, expensive cars, a big home, and other feel-good items are nothing more than distractions that lead many people away from truth. It is very hard for one to see whether Mr. Right Now is more like Mr. Right Never Ever.
The young woman, captivated by an admirer's lustful desires, fails to see the signs that an older man is past his prime and may not satisfy her like a man her own age. She deceives herself into thinking she is attracted to him because "He said that he would give me...He promised that he would buy me... He told me that he loved me..." when the reality is that this older man is deceiving his fans with charms that lead many women to Heartbreak Hotel.
Many older men have been dismissed as future long-term mates by observant, mature women, because they saw early on through these manipulative men's lies. So he goes out to the local mall and elsewhere buying yet another item he doesn't need to make himself happy while seeking yet another woman who will stick around and give him what he wants before she notices his flaws.
Now some of the mature man's weaknesses are noticeable while others not so much. Some women learn the hard way that there are those men who are physically broken--lacking in something here, there or everywhere! One would think a man who knows he can't get along with or keep a woman for a variety of reasons would just settle with being alone, but not the determined mature man who thinks he still has what it takes from 10, 15 or 20 plus years ago!
The reality that he can't keep up with a younger woman or connect with women in his own age group soon affects various areas of his life from finances to location. He thinks, "What can I do to make them like me?" Some older men will dress up their broken bodies in the finest garments--especially those individuals who refuse to do things like: take necessary medicines/supplements for their conditions, work out, or seek a professional therapist for past issues. They believe that their next victim won't notice things like: a moody temperament, a terrible odor that comes and goes, impotence, tiredness, and strange behaviors. Other mature men will buy gadgets and go places they think will impress their love interests. While some will simply do nothing but run their mouths in the hopes that they can get a quickie from someone who might be having a similar hormonal high.
A man who really wants love in his life must come to terms with the truth about himself. Dressing one's self in the latest fashions may draw some honeybees, but how long they stay is up in the air. If you are experiencing some free time after breaking up with someone, consider looking at yourself in the mirror, sniff around, observe your environment, and pay close attention to what those closest to you have warned, a body that is crying out for love and peace needs more than just another item to cover it or keep it entertained.
Nicholl McGuire, creator of this blog. Thank you for visiting!
Keep Up With Me
Found someone who can keep up with me
now that one is all I can see.
Have been through the fight to keep love in sight.
After years of pain, now I see the light!
Have told others, there is more to do besides sharing covers.
Tried to speak wisdom to the lost and confused kind of brothers.
I really wasn't prepared for a love like this,
but things changed when we shared a kiss.
Older, younger
stronger, wise.
Broke past ties,
kept away from lies.
Times were somewhat good back then,
even when my spirit didn't override my skin.
These days I am focused on what really matters,
true love has made a pumping heart grow fatter.
Feel satisfied with my new life,
less boring, and not as much strife.
Know what I want and why I am here,
happiness moves me to shed a tear.
I do not fear what people might say
I take the time out to pray each day.
Have a lot to share with the one who has blessed me,
healed my wandering, blind eyes, so that I may see,
I now appreciate the one who stands before me!
Nicholl McGuire
now that one is all I can see.
Have been through the fight to keep love in sight.
After years of pain, now I see the light!
Have told others, there is more to do besides sharing covers.
Tried to speak wisdom to the lost and confused kind of brothers.
I really wasn't prepared for a love like this,
but things changed when we shared a kiss.
Older, younger
stronger, wise.
Broke past ties,
kept away from lies.
Times were somewhat good back then,
even when my spirit didn't override my skin.
These days I am focused on what really matters,
true love has made a pumping heart grow fatter.
Feel satisfied with my new life,
less boring, and not as much strife.
Know what I want and why I am here,
happiness moves me to shed a tear.
I do not fear what people might say
I take the time out to pray each day.
Have a lot to share with the one who has blessed me,
healed my wandering, blind eyes, so that I may see,
I now appreciate the one who stands before me!
Nicholl McGuire
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