When young and older men sit back and admire a fellow brother who appears to be very successful, happy, and has many women who like him, what they don't readily see are his weaknesses and neither do those women who think he is a good catch.
Far too many young women, as well as older ones, are caught with a charming smile, false promises, and more because they fail to see manipulative tactics by deceptive older men. Like young men, who look up to players, pimps, and hustlers, foolish women are taken by the gentleman's decor used to entice the naive, gullible, materialistic, and others who wish to walk in or beside his shoes.
The designer labels, the fat leather wallet, eye-catching jewelry, expensive cars, a big home, and other feel-good items are nothing more than distractions that lead many people away from truth. It is very hard for one to see whether Mr. Right Now is more like Mr. Right Never Ever.
The young woman, captivated by an admirer's lustful desires, fails to see the signs that an older man is past his prime and may not satisfy her like a man her own age. She deceives herself into thinking she is attracted to him because "He said that he would give me...He promised that he would buy me... He told me that he loved me..." when the reality is that this older man is deceiving his fans with charms that lead many women to Heartbreak Hotel.
Many older men have been dismissed as future long-term mates by observant, mature women, because they saw early on through these manipulative men's lies. So he goes out to the local mall and elsewhere buying yet another item he doesn't need to make himself happy while seeking yet another woman who will stick around and give him what he wants before she notices his flaws.
Now some of the mature man's weaknesses are noticeable while others not so much. Some women learn the hard way that there are those men who are physically broken--lacking in something here, there or everywhere! One would think a man who knows he can't get along with or keep a woman for a variety of reasons would just settle with being alone, but not the determined mature man who thinks he still has what it takes from 10, 15 or 20 plus years ago!
The reality that he can't keep up with a younger woman or connect with women in his own age group soon affects various areas of his life from finances to location. He thinks, "What can I do to make them like me?" Some older men will dress up their broken bodies in the finest garments--especially those individuals who refuse to do things like: take necessary medicines/supplements for their conditions, work out, or seek a professional therapist for past issues. They believe that their next victim won't notice things like: a moody temperament, a terrible odor that comes and goes, impotence, tiredness, and strange behaviors. Other mature men will buy gadgets and go places they think will impress their love interests. While some will simply do nothing but run their mouths in the hopes that they can get a quickie from someone who might be having a similar hormonal high.
A man who really wants love in his life must come to terms with the truth about himself. Dressing one's self in the latest fashions may draw some honeybees, but how long they stay is up in the air. If you are experiencing some free time after breaking up with someone, consider looking at yourself in the mirror, sniff around, observe your environment, and pay close attention to what those closest to you have warned, a body that is crying out for love and peace needs more than just another item to cover it or keep it entertained.
Nicholl McGuire, creator of this blog. Thank you for visiting!
Thursday
Keep Up With Me
Found someone who can keep up with me
now that one is all I can see.
Have been through the fight to keep love in sight.
After years of pain, now I see the light!
Have told others, there is more to do besides sharing covers.
Tried to speak wisdom to the lost and confused kind of brothers.
I really wasn't prepared for a love like this,
but things changed when we shared a kiss.
Older, younger
stronger, wise.
Broke past ties,
kept away from lies.
Times were somewhat good back then,
even when my spirit didn't override my skin.
These days I am focused on what really matters,
true love has made a pumping heart grow fatter.
Feel satisfied with my new life,
less boring, and not as much strife.
Know what I want and why I am here,
happiness moves me to shed a tear.
I do not fear what people might say
I take the time out to pray each day.
Have a lot to share with the one who has blessed me,
healed my wandering, blind eyes, so that I may see,
I now appreciate the one who stands before me!
Nicholl McGuire
now that one is all I can see.
Have been through the fight to keep love in sight.
After years of pain, now I see the light!
Have told others, there is more to do besides sharing covers.
Tried to speak wisdom to the lost and confused kind of brothers.
I really wasn't prepared for a love like this,
but things changed when we shared a kiss.
Older, younger
stronger, wise.
Broke past ties,
kept away from lies.
Times were somewhat good back then,
even when my spirit didn't override my skin.
These days I am focused on what really matters,
true love has made a pumping heart grow fatter.
Feel satisfied with my new life,
less boring, and not as much strife.
Know what I want and why I am here,
happiness moves me to shed a tear.
I do not fear what people might say
I take the time out to pray each day.
Have a lot to share with the one who has blessed me,
healed my wandering, blind eyes, so that I may see,
I now appreciate the one who stands before me!
Nicholl McGuire
Friday
Tricks are for Kids: Silly, Smart Women
Watch enough reality shows, celebrity award programs, movies, and other so-called award-winning productions and you will find many, many silly women and men. But for purposes of this blog entry, I will be focusing on silly, smart women that draw our attention.
Whether she is a celebrity or someone you know from work, these silly, smart women are the ones who do and say things that are selfish, but guise their deeds up with "helping, encouraging...loving Jesus..." and more. They dress younger than their age. Talk in ways that make you think you are speaking with a child, rather than an adult. Shop for things in stores that would typically excite children, not women. Many have been abused as a child and many more know how to change from one personality to the next especially when feeling threatened or controlled in a relationship.
You may have heard of a celebrity or two acting silly. Some purposely act silly; however, there is absolutely nothing juvenile about them, but in order to make a living, there are those women who act immature. Sometimes a parent/relative/manager/lover encouraged them to act in stupid ways and rewarded them for it. Meanwhile, you may have said to yourself, "What is with this woman? What exactly do you call helping others when she is dancing around half dressed looking like a Barbie, acting like a fool in movies, and supporting all things immoral, childish and downright stupid?" But silly, smart women know how to draw you in. You may have thought wisely for a moment, yet if that beautiful or not-so attractive woman with a great body is in your presence, you would most likely look for something about her you admire and forget about her immaturity or silly act. Before long, you would be opening your wallet or your arms up to her.
Silly, smart women know how to draw, not only men to them, but women too. They need to establish trust with everyone they encounter. They desire friends in order to accomplish their goals. For some silly, smart women they talk childish, act silly for a time while waiting for the opportunity to get their needs met--whatever that might be.
Being a stingy, grumpy, evil S.O.B. who thinks he knows it all is not going to help most older men who think they can outsmart silly, attractive women. Some men are simply suckers for charm, beauty and immaturity. The best thing a mature man can do to protect himself from the silly actress or childish younger woman is to not entertain her--ignore her. She can be as smart as a Bill Gates, but with silly attached to her list of attributes isn't a good thing, no matter how much you reason it's okay--maybe for the younger silly man, but not for someone who is supposed to be wise and mature.
We all know when someone calls us, "silly" for doing something, that isn't a compliment. Silly people, things and places mean childish, boy and girl behaviors not grown men and women. If you are a Bible reader you know that your Creator wants you to put off childish ways. Men are called to grow up! But it's hard to see that when you see far too much media celebrating silly behavior both on and offline. Unless you are just as silly as an immature woman, if not worse, your relationship just might have it's share of challenges. Sooner or later you will be calling her a name or two for her child-like behaviors.
Men who are accused of being too serious, dull, boring and even mean-spirited because they don't know how to "lighten up" and take one day at a time (with a smile on their faces) will find it difficult dating most younger women who are in their early 20s attending college or working with children.
Immature men, silly ones, are not going to be a good match for a younger woman who is often serious and finds laughing difficult, but tend to get along well with immature women for a time. But two silly adults can drive one another crazy especially when one is ready to act more adult while the other doesn't want to grow up.
But silly, smart women and men both have a common plan and that is to use their immaturity to get what they want, when they want it. Many aren't interested in anything long term. Most are more concerned about how dating one who is older is going to make them look. If he is rich, he is a catch. A poor older man is no better than a young, poor man. Knowing these things, be cautious of that one who you are quick to label silly, keep in mind, she just might be smart too. Unfortunately, many men will be hurt because they didn't see through the act.
Nicholl McGuire
Whether she is a celebrity or someone you know from work, these silly, smart women are the ones who do and say things that are selfish, but guise their deeds up with "helping, encouraging...loving Jesus..." and more. They dress younger than their age. Talk in ways that make you think you are speaking with a child, rather than an adult. Shop for things in stores that would typically excite children, not women. Many have been abused as a child and many more know how to change from one personality to the next especially when feeling threatened or controlled in a relationship.
You may have heard of a celebrity or two acting silly. Some purposely act silly; however, there is absolutely nothing juvenile about them, but in order to make a living, there are those women who act immature. Sometimes a parent/relative/manager/lover encouraged them to act in stupid ways and rewarded them for it. Meanwhile, you may have said to yourself, "What is with this woman? What exactly do you call helping others when she is dancing around half dressed looking like a Barbie, acting like a fool in movies, and supporting all things immoral, childish and downright stupid?" But silly, smart women know how to draw you in. You may have thought wisely for a moment, yet if that beautiful or not-so attractive woman with a great body is in your presence, you would most likely look for something about her you admire and forget about her immaturity or silly act. Before long, you would be opening your wallet or your arms up to her.
Silly, smart women know how to draw, not only men to them, but women too. They need to establish trust with everyone they encounter. They desire friends in order to accomplish their goals. For some silly, smart women they talk childish, act silly for a time while waiting for the opportunity to get their needs met--whatever that might be.
Being a stingy, grumpy, evil S.O.B. who thinks he knows it all is not going to help most older men who think they can outsmart silly, attractive women. Some men are simply suckers for charm, beauty and immaturity. The best thing a mature man can do to protect himself from the silly actress or childish younger woman is to not entertain her--ignore her. She can be as smart as a Bill Gates, but with silly attached to her list of attributes isn't a good thing, no matter how much you reason it's okay--maybe for the younger silly man, but not for someone who is supposed to be wise and mature.
We all know when someone calls us, "silly" for doing something, that isn't a compliment. Silly people, things and places mean childish, boy and girl behaviors not grown men and women. If you are a Bible reader you know that your Creator wants you to put off childish ways. Men are called to grow up! But it's hard to see that when you see far too much media celebrating silly behavior both on and offline. Unless you are just as silly as an immature woman, if not worse, your relationship just might have it's share of challenges. Sooner or later you will be calling her a name or two for her child-like behaviors.
Men who are accused of being too serious, dull, boring and even mean-spirited because they don't know how to "lighten up" and take one day at a time (with a smile on their faces) will find it difficult dating most younger women who are in their early 20s attending college or working with children.
Immature men, silly ones, are not going to be a good match for a younger woman who is often serious and finds laughing difficult, but tend to get along well with immature women for a time. But two silly adults can drive one another crazy especially when one is ready to act more adult while the other doesn't want to grow up.
But silly, smart women and men both have a common plan and that is to use their immaturity to get what they want, when they want it. Many aren't interested in anything long term. Most are more concerned about how dating one who is older is going to make them look. If he is rich, he is a catch. A poor older man is no better than a young, poor man. Knowing these things, be cautious of that one who you are quick to label silly, keep in mind, she just might be smart too. Unfortunately, many men will be hurt because they didn't see through the act.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
Ashamed to Date Older Men, Younger Women
It started off as a good idea, there was one, then two, maybe three older dates or younger ones in the past. But then, the feelings of shame, regret and other emotions started to grow and they wouldn't leave while some dated those half their age or older/younger. So he stopped dating youthful women and she stopped dating older.
Some of you reading this, may have had similar experiences dating older or younger and you have your share of regrets. But lately, you may have thought about doing it again. Be sure, be really sure this time! Hearts get broken so easily, time and money get wasted and in the end you find yourself back at square one (sigh). Like an interracial, same sex, mixed religious or political party relationship, the challenges will be there, yet love must conquer all!
There is a certain degree of shame that one might experience being with someone older or younger especially when appearances are a dead give away. Passerbyers will let their thoughts show up on faces that are not in agreement. Uncomfortable feelings will surface as you look at that younger or older partner standing, sitting or walking next to you. But one must fight those emotions if he or she wants to remain in a relationship.
The mature man isn't going to be as attractive as the younger men a woman might have dated the older he gets. And she isn't going to stay young and vibrant forever. Whatever the issue, just know that your date is a human being with feelings that grow like flowers--not a mindless sexy character on the Internet or in a video game.
If you are sincerely ready to date younger or older again, then know what is ahead and how you will respond to those trials, but tell yourself, "Running is not an option unless we simply have nothing in common." Otherwise, enjoy your new friend no matter the age and be open to love and change!
Nicholl McGuire author Laboring to Love Myself.
Some of you reading this, may have had similar experiences dating older or younger and you have your share of regrets. But lately, you may have thought about doing it again. Be sure, be really sure this time! Hearts get broken so easily, time and money get wasted and in the end you find yourself back at square one (sigh). Like an interracial, same sex, mixed religious or political party relationship, the challenges will be there, yet love must conquer all!
There is a certain degree of shame that one might experience being with someone older or younger especially when appearances are a dead give away. Passerbyers will let their thoughts show up on faces that are not in agreement. Uncomfortable feelings will surface as you look at that younger or older partner standing, sitting or walking next to you. But one must fight those emotions if he or she wants to remain in a relationship.
The mature man isn't going to be as attractive as the younger men a woman might have dated the older he gets. And she isn't going to stay young and vibrant forever. Whatever the issue, just know that your date is a human being with feelings that grow like flowers--not a mindless sexy character on the Internet or in a video game.
If you are sincerely ready to date younger or older again, then know what is ahead and how you will respond to those trials, but tell yourself, "Running is not an option unless we simply have nothing in common." Otherwise, enjoy your new friend no matter the age and be open to love and change!
Nicholl McGuire author Laboring to Love Myself.
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