When you are attracted to someone, one of the first things you are going to pay attention to is how this person looks. Now some optimist types would say, "That shouldn't matter, it's what is on the inside that really counts." Well, that's all well and good, but welcome to reality older man, younger woman, looks do matter to some, but to who is the question? Does your mate really care about you?
You may be the kind of person who doesn't care too much about looks. You may not have a certain type that you prefer to date. You may not be bothered about whether a woman or man is black, yellow, red or white. But there are those that all this is important. This is why you must be sure that who you are dating isn't faking it to make it. Does he or she really love you inside and out or is this person just tolerating you for now?
There are some people who just know how to act very well when it comes to being into someone. They will pretend like they enjoy their hobbies and interests when they really don't. They will act like gray hair, wrinkles and being overweight doesn't bother them, when it really does. Some men and women will fake being comfortable on a date with someone younger or older. Meanwhile, he is hoping that his mother, ex-wife or sister won't happen to see him walking down the street with his younger mate or she is praying that her dad doesn't see her with this old man.
You have to be confident with who you are when dating someone older or younger. You will get those looks. People will make you feel uncomfortable. I recall when a group of guys walked by me with my older mate and they were staring. They looked at me then him and back to me again. One commented, "Why is she with that old man?" My stomach dropped. I was shocked, I couldn't say anything. To this day, I don't know if my date heard the young man. Needless to say, the young man's words affected me for at least a day.
Be sure you are willing to stand strong in a relationship such as this especially when the naysayers start bad-mouthing your actions. Don't be a coward or try to defend your actions. If you are in love, then so be it. Who cares what anyone else says? However, be prepared for some stressful moments and try not to let other's words and reactions affect your dating relationship.
Nicholl McGuire
See more writings related to relationships here.
A age gap dating advice blog that provides valuable tips when dating older men and younger women. Thought-provoking relationship tips for older men seeking to date younger women. Please be advised to seek a professional for serious issues. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling. This blog is not for people under the age of 18.
Monday
Wednesday
Moody, Irritable, Argumentative and 50 Plus? Cramping, Bloating and 18 Plus?
In the past, this blog has provided information on Andropause. This is a health condition that affects males which is caused by a deficiency in testosterone. Now as much as our society likes to deceive us into thinking we are all younger than we think, the truth be told is that we are all getting older. As we mature, things like our memory, mood, and body are affected. We don't remember things as good as we use to. We become more easily agitated by little things. Our body weight increases and it becomes more challenging to lose weight especially in one's mid-section.
I am referring mature males who happened to come across this site to the following link below as well as young women who may not understand Andropause. Hopefully, couples will become more knowledgeable and understanding of this condition.
When searching health websites related to personal issues, I would like readers to check out additional subject matter related to women that might be causing some issues in your relationship as well. Look up PMS, PMDD and Perimenopause at the site. Any woman who has a menstrual cycle will be affected. Mood swings, anger problems, bloating, cramping, lack of sexual drive, etc. are all issues that affect young women too. Some women don't suffer much during their premenstrual cycle while others are affected a great deal. This condition can also impact your relationship especially if you aren't aware of the symptoms.
So do check out these health conditions it might be a serious wake up call for some of you as to why your past relationships didn't work out.
Nicholl McGuire
I am referring mature males who happened to come across this site to the following link below as well as young women who may not understand Andropause. Hopefully, couples will become more knowledgeable and understanding of this condition.
When searching health websites related to personal issues, I would like readers to check out additional subject matter related to women that might be causing some issues in your relationship as well. Look up PMS, PMDD and Perimenopause at the site. Any woman who has a menstrual cycle will be affected. Mood swings, anger problems, bloating, cramping, lack of sexual drive, etc. are all issues that affect young women too. Some women don't suffer much during their premenstrual cycle while others are affected a great deal. This condition can also impact your relationship especially if you aren't aware of the symptoms.
So do check out these health conditions it might be a serious wake up call for some of you as to why your past relationships didn't work out.
Nicholl McGuire
Tuesday
Immature + Mature = More Relationship Problems
A dating relationship between older and younger, rich and poor, even handicap and well can work, but immature and mature? Nope. A mature man dating an immature woman will not last if the immature woman doesn't ever grow up. The immature older man and the mature younger woman dating relationship won't work either. Common sense shows that when one is dating anyone incompatible with he or she, it is only a matter of time that if one person doesn't conform to be more compatible, the dating relationship won't work in the long term. This would explain why some intelligent folks dating the immature might compromise normal behavior for abnormal or why some unintelligent folks might start "acting" more mature. If you want your relationship to last, you have to make some changes whether they be right or worse, wrong for you. That's right I said wrong, because some people are more concerned about wanting someone to like them; rather than questioning whether certain behaviors are just wrong. They are willing to conform to just about anything just to keep that man or woman that they are benefiting from which is so wrong! If you start doing some things in the relationship that you know aren't right for you, beware, it is only a matter of time that you will grow weary of trying to "fit in" just to stick it out with someone especially if this person is the immature one.
Most people as you know, don't like change. So the older you are, the least likely you will want to change. For instance, a silly, immature young woman will see a more serious, older man as boring when she is still interested in going out with her friends and partying. A silly, immature older man may consider a mature younger woman as an "old soul" and feel like he could have dated someone his own age since this younger woman acting older doesn't represent his idea of what a fountain of youth may look or act like--something he might have been craving.
There are many logical as well as illogical reasons as to why someone would be looking to date someone older or younger, but if you are going to enter into this kind of dating relationship, you have to pick someone that is compatible with you whether you consider yourself to be mature or immature. Trying to find someone who is on your level of maturity, may be difficult, because sometimes dates will manipulate who they really are at least until you get to know them better.
You may want to ask what your closest friends think of your level of maturity. Sometimes we may think one thing, but the world sees someone totally different. Not being honest with yourself about your level of maturity will make it even more challenging to find someone compatible. Some people think because they are a certain age they are considered mature, but not so fast! There are many older men who act immature and many younger women who are surprisingly mature. When the two meet one another, at first, it seems like they may have a lot in common, but then in time, the two will find that one is really not who he or she claims to be.
What the younger woman may have thought was a mature man seated in front of her, turns out to be a little boy looking for some motherly attention and what the mature man thought was this young, free spirit, is really a full grown woman looking for a man to love and care for her in a future marriage. If you look beyond the surface when choosing a date and pay close attention to the mannerisms and thoughts being conveyed to you by your date, you will find yourself getting a good look at what the future might hold with this person whether he or she is straightforward with you or not.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Most people as you know, don't like change. So the older you are, the least likely you will want to change. For instance, a silly, immature young woman will see a more serious, older man as boring when she is still interested in going out with her friends and partying. A silly, immature older man may consider a mature younger woman as an "old soul" and feel like he could have dated someone his own age since this younger woman acting older doesn't represent his idea of what a fountain of youth may look or act like--something he might have been craving.
There are many logical as well as illogical reasons as to why someone would be looking to date someone older or younger, but if you are going to enter into this kind of dating relationship, you have to pick someone that is compatible with you whether you consider yourself to be mature or immature. Trying to find someone who is on your level of maturity, may be difficult, because sometimes dates will manipulate who they really are at least until you get to know them better.
You may want to ask what your closest friends think of your level of maturity. Sometimes we may think one thing, but the world sees someone totally different. Not being honest with yourself about your level of maturity will make it even more challenging to find someone compatible. Some people think because they are a certain age they are considered mature, but not so fast! There are many older men who act immature and many younger women who are surprisingly mature. When the two meet one another, at first, it seems like they may have a lot in common, but then in time, the two will find that one is really not who he or she claims to be.
What the younger woman may have thought was a mature man seated in front of her, turns out to be a little boy looking for some motherly attention and what the mature man thought was this young, free spirit, is really a full grown woman looking for a man to love and care for her in a future marriage. If you look beyond the surface when choosing a date and pay close attention to the mannerisms and thoughts being conveyed to you by your date, you will find yourself getting a good look at what the future might hold with this person whether he or she is straightforward with you or not.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Thursday
You Wanted that Nice, Sexy...Now You Got It!
Oh boy, did you ever...! "You got that nice piece of $%^?!" one of your boys says as if he doesn't believe it. You are just smiling from ear-to-ear about that special man or woman in your life. The world has stopped spinning and all you hear anymore are birds chirping. You and your younger partner have isolated yourselves. You both have a "me and you against the world" mentality.
So you thought I was going to say, "But..." right? Of course, there is a "but." But, it's for your own good, boss, dad, college student, retiree or divorced. You know these titles will make or break this kind of relationship if you or she isn't comfortable with them.
Where do you go from here, mature man? One of you or both should be asking this question, because anyone who has ever been in a relationship always comes to this point. So it might as well be you who is reading this. How will being in a relationship with your younger partner benefit you in both the short and long-terms? Or, is there really any long-term? You have heard the experiences of people in these kind of dating older/dating younger relationships. Are you conducting yourself in that "full speed ahead until we crash into a wall" fashion in this relationship?
What about your career and/or educational goals? Is there room in this relationship for that? What about a possible pregnancy? Do you really think aborting would be the best option or keeping the child? How will your partner fit in with your family? Do you make enough money if you are retired to help your younger partner?
Love blinds us. Reality awakes us. We can use every cliche in the book to make us feel at ease with what we are doing in our personal lives, but seriously mature man, we (both men and women of all ages) all need a voice of reason just in case that special someone breaks our heart.
Sure, your taking it slow, but then again maybe not if you already had sex with her. Sure, you will come to that bridge when you get there. You may already be there if she has been sharing her feelings about you. Don't wait. Talk about the things that matter when it comes to your intimate relationship with your younger woman and those who care about her. She (and they--you know her family) just might still respect you in the morning.
Nicholl McGuire
Join on Twitter@datingdramas
So you thought I was going to say, "But..." right? Of course, there is a "but." But, it's for your own good, boss, dad, college student, retiree or divorced. You know these titles will make or break this kind of relationship if you or she isn't comfortable with them.
Where do you go from here, mature man? One of you or both should be asking this question, because anyone who has ever been in a relationship always comes to this point. So it might as well be you who is reading this. How will being in a relationship with your younger partner benefit you in both the short and long-terms? Or, is there really any long-term? You have heard the experiences of people in these kind of dating older/dating younger relationships. Are you conducting yourself in that "full speed ahead until we crash into a wall" fashion in this relationship?
What about your career and/or educational goals? Is there room in this relationship for that? What about a possible pregnancy? Do you really think aborting would be the best option or keeping the child? How will your partner fit in with your family? Do you make enough money if you are retired to help your younger partner?
Love blinds us. Reality awakes us. We can use every cliche in the book to make us feel at ease with what we are doing in our personal lives, but seriously mature man, we (both men and women of all ages) all need a voice of reason just in case that special someone breaks our heart.
Sure, your taking it slow, but then again maybe not if you already had sex with her. Sure, you will come to that bridge when you get there. You may already be there if she has been sharing her feelings about you. Don't wait. Talk about the things that matter when it comes to your intimate relationship with your younger woman and those who care about her. She (and they--you know her family) just might still respect you in the morning.
Nicholl McGuire
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