What to Expect When Dating an Older Man

There are those women who need some insight as to what to expect when dating older men. They may feel pressure because of age differences, appearances, life experiences, and other things that are considered significant when choosing the right man to settle down. The information that you
are about to read has been created to prepare you for some issues that may come up in your dating relationship with an older man.

The first issue is how people react when they see you with a man who is noticeably older than you. Some people will assume that he is your father or an older relative. It's up to you to either take their stares or comments in stride or address them. Most couples don't allow themselves to be bothered by public reaction. However, family impressions are handled differently. Usually if there are comments made about the age difference, the older man will either joke about it, ask the person to stop the negative comments, or don't bother visiting with them when you both are around.

The second issue that tends to come up in relationships like these has to do with intimacy. When most people grow older they become less likely to be intimate. Yet, because of various pills nowadays some older men are actually more energetic sexually than some younger men.

Another concern of younger women dating older men is their past connections. It seems the older man's children are not as supportive as they let on and may hinder their father from continuing a relationship with the younger woman. She may be deemed a gold digger by his children because they feel like he will give his wealth to her and leave them out.

Ex-wives and ex-girlfriends who are most likely a lot older than his new girlfriend also play a part in his life especially if children are involved. She may have had a good relationship with not only him in the past but his family too. It isn't unusual to see an ex show up at family celebrations, reunions or funerals.

Dating an older man has its challenges when a younger woman doesn't have as much life experience and/or education as he does. Communication problems may occur and she may be easily turned off by his wisdom or turned on because she doesn't know much about life.

You will want to evaluate whether dating an older man is worth the added stress to your life especially if you will be having interaction with his children and relatives. Some younger women are not interested in older men because they look and act older. They have a history that is about
as old if not older than they are. They feel that they can't relate and don't have anything in common with an older man. When you decide that an older man is worth dating, be sure that you are not compromising who you are just to make him want to be with you more. Stay true to yourself!

When Young Women Love Older Men

There are older women in circles right now discussing why men in their age group go for younger women. They are usually angry, jealous, and bitter about the fact because they know that once they reach a certain age the pickings for men get a lot slimmer. This is why some older women will
not move on or be content being alone. They will hold on to their unavailable ex, date a player, put up with a drunk, and use drugs with an addict or anything else just because they are so desperate to keep a man even when he doesn't want them anymore. So when a younger woman comes along and the older man divorces his wife for her, cheats on his older girlfriend for her or does something else to be with her, some of these older women act like old fools!

The younger woman isn't to blame in most cases unless she deliberately went after an unavailable, happily married man. However, usually these older men are unhappily married, living separate from their wives, divorced, or dating other women but just haven't found one to date exclusively yet. Whatever his issue, his wife's issue or his ex's issue, the point is the young woman has now fallen in love with him.

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

What does she feel when she is in love with her older man? What does her action or inaction in the relationship with him look like? Let's answer these questions.

Since every woman is different it's hard to provide specific details as to how she feels about him, but there are some basic things to look out for if you intend to make the relationship a happy one. Because she is younger, she doesn't usually have as much life experience as you. Depending on her age, she may have just moved out of mommy and daddy's home and is beginning to start a life of her own free of authority figures. So if you come along and try to tell her how to live her life like a parent, then she can very easily fall out of love or lust with you and the idea of ever dating a man older. She will then settle with someone closer to her age. However, if you act more like a friend and encourage her to live independently and enjoy her life, then she will eventually find her way to you because you are not stifling her from being the kind of woman she is destined to be.

Some younger women fall deeply in love with older men because her father didn't show her the kind of love she wanted as a child. He may have been absent, physically abusive, or mentally unaware of her existence because he was too busy working. Just imagine, here you are this wonderful, kind older
gentleman with your arms open wide and she will not hesitate to jump in them and look to you to be a father that she never had. Now this isn't always the case, some younger women had great relationships with their dad and wish to be with men who have similar attributes as their father. If their dad was hardworking, took great care of the family, honest, and church-going, then she may expect the same from you. This kind of thinking is not only with young women who date older men but any woman dating any man of any color, age, race, or creed.

When she truly loves her older man she will want to do everything for him and be the kind of woman he adores. This concept is no different if she was with a man the same age or younger. A woman who is treated with respect, admired, loved, and appreciated will react just like a man who feels the same way. She will go out of her way to make him happy when she is in love. However, if she isn't she will grow distant and will start to think of what she may have missed out on by not being with a man her own age. Her family, if they notice that she is not happy in the relationship, will encourage her to break up with the older man and find someone more age appropriate for her. This is why some older, controlling men try to keep the family out of her life because they want to be the only ones who have power over her. Unfortunately, their plan of control usually backfires.  As the young woman ages, she (who was once blind) begins to see and realizes that the older man is just not for her.

Younger women can be a blessing to older men especially when these men reach an age where they can no longer care for themselves. However, they can be a curse to those who mistreated them in their youth.  The older man and younger woman who have a quality relationship will get to experience the joys of life whether emotionally whole or broken, rich or poor, or sick or well.

An older man tends to have the best of both worlds when dealing with a younger woman (that is why his friends tend to envy him and may even hate on his relationship), he can be free to relive his youth again while knowing that if his partner is sincerely in love with him she will see to it that he is taken care of for the rest of his life.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues, Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy.  She also is the owner of Nicholl McGuire Media.

When Young Woman Dates Older Men

I didn't anticipate meeting a man decades older than me, but it happened not just once, not just twice but many times. Some were married, others were single, and others I don't know what were honestly their status. At first glance I didn't notice the gray hair, the crows feet around the
eyes, or the age marks, all I saw was a man that appeared to be easy on the eyes. I didn't begin to notice details until after getting to know these older men and seeing them more frequently. Depending on how much I liked the older man's personality, determined how noticeable the signs of aging appeared before my eyes. If he was married, it seemed that all flaws seemed to get bigger by the minute. I think that my conscious was letting me know you definitely don't want to get mixed up with an unavailable man. I think they must have felt my disinterest because then the smooth talk would be sure to follow. "I never met someone quite like you. You are special. I am having problems in my marriage and I will soon be getting a divorced. You are worth leaving my wife for you." It all seems so flattering until the reality sets in that the unavailable man is giving nothing more than lip service.

Other older men I have met have been available, so much in fact, that there were those that watched me like a hawk and didn't let a day pass without calling, or asking to spend a night or two during those days before marriage and children. It wasn't that I didn't like this men, I just wasn't interested in the pressure to have sex. It seemed as if some of these men had given themselves a deadline to sleep with "the young woman" so that they could eventually parade me around in their older circles. I remember one man who told his best friends about me and the minute the opportunity arose to show me off, he practically sped over to his friend's apartment. When we arrived, they looked me over, chuckled and said, "Where did you get her from? How nice!" Their eyes scanned me over like they couldn't wait for him to say, "I don't want her anymore, but you can have her."

I did meet my share of nice, older men, the kind that wanted to marry and have children, but I just couldn't connect with them. It wasn't that we weren't compatible, but I was in my early twenties and settling down to get married and have a family was not in my plans. One guy was a
winner, the kind of man that most any woman would consider a perfect gentleman, a great husband, and an exceptional dad. My heart ached every time I didn't return his phone calls. I literally couldn't get serious enough with him to start a relationship.

While walking with my older dates, I received the stares from older women, heard the comments from younger men, and dealt with my own share of embarrassing issues like, "Can you give this to your dad?" I would respond politely, "He's not my dad." As a result of my dating experiences, I have penned a book about this subject entitled, He's Not My Dad by Nicholl McGuire which will be available online winter 2009.

Am I proud about my past dating life? Not really, simply because I don't think it should have to take so long and so many to find someone compatible. I personally believe if you know what you want early on in life (and your needs are not impossible to meet,) take good care of self and finances, set boundaries prior to dating, and have a supportive team of people around you who have morals, you can't go wrong. I unfortunately made a lot of mistakes in all of these areas. That is why I feel the need to give back to humanity for every heart I broke, for the continuous healing I need for my heart that others wounded, and most of all to help young people keep from falling in the same traps I fell into during my early 20s. For more about my struggles and how I overcame, order my books on Amazon.com.

In closing, I would like to add I did learn a lot from older men. Here is a bit of wisdom you may want to think about:

I learned with older men everything that glitters isn't gold.
Just because he is older doesn't make him smarter.

I realized many men play games regardless of the age and usually one popular game involves juggling more than one woman sometimes there can be as many as four or five.

I found when you love yourself, you send a powerful message that you can't be played.

I noticed an older man's family members or friends usually make your welcome into the inner circle hard because many are unfortunately jealous of your youth, beauty and the way you make him feel.

Lastly, confidence is supreme and when you exhibit it without forcing it, or trying to be something you are not, respect soon follows.

Other articles by this author about older men and younger women:

What to Expect When Dating an Older Man

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1879107/what_to_expect_when_dating_an_older_pg2_pg2.html?cat=41

Daddy's Love and Your Man's Love
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1075891/daddys_love_and_your_mans_love_what.html?cat=7

Dating Older Men: What Does Everyone Really Think?

Ever wonder what you, your mate and others really think of the younger woman with the older man? Putting aside everything you have been told or what you have seen when it comes to relationships like this, could you sincerely be honest, fair, and even encouraging when it comes to dating an older or younger partner or befriending this type of couple? Depending on your age, how secure you are about yourself and your own relationship, and dating experiences will determine how you truly feel about a younger woman dating an older man.

You may be the younger woman curious about dating an older man or you may be the older man interested in dating a younger woman. Then again, you may not be either but just a concerned relative or friend. Whatever your reason for seeking additional information about younger women and older men, know that you aren't alone in the way you feel. There are plenty of couples who either privately or publicly struggle with some issues as they come up and the more knowledge you have about the subject, the more comfortable you will feel about talking to an older man and younger woman. In addition, you will feel confident interacting with family members and friends with your older or younger companion by your side and/ or teaching others about your dating experiences. There are many questions and concerns about this subject of dating younger women and older men. For purposes of this article, we will discuss what some older men, younger women, friends, and family may be thinking about their relationship.

Let's begin with the first. What do young women and older men really think when dating one another? One thought the couple may have relates to the newness of the relationship. For some they have dated an older or younger mate in the past, others have not so it may be more challenging for them. Couples also think about how unique they are from other couples in their circle especially if most of their friends are significantly younger or older. They also find that because of the age differences there are some very interesting subject areas that can be discussed from hobbies to employment. Further, they may talk about challenging topics as they come up such as: short and long term goals, emotions, responsibilities, religion, ethics, and accountability. These subjects are no different than any other couple who may be the same age or closely matched.

A concern that may come up during the dating phase is what does each partner honestly think about the other? For instance, an older man may look at his younger date as being someone very unique from what he is accustomed to dating. He may also notice how energetic, fun or independent she is unlike the women in his own age group. His younger partner may see her older man as intelligent, caring, kind, and mature unlike young men she has dated in the past. Together they may complement one another because they are so different. However, sometimes these differences can get in the way of one another's future plans which unfortunately can lead to arguments and later separation or breakup. For example, let's say his young partner is interested in saving money for her college education while her older partner is more concerned about retirement. They may have differences on what each may find a priority. Without open and honest communication often, most couples whether young or old will come to an end.

The popular question of "what will my friends think" may cross the couple's mind especially with the younger woman. Since friendships are still very important to her, a young woman doesn't want to feel isolated or ridiculed because she is with an older man, so she may either distance herself from her older partner or end the relationship without what seems to be good reasons. Sometimes a new relationship may override old friends and she may grow distant or cut them off altogether particularly if they have been increasingly judgmental. While peer pressure may affect youth, it has no impact on maturity. Her older partner who has already been through that phase in his life may not care what others think. However, there are some older men who do care about his friends' opinions depending on his public involvement. For instance, an older man may cave into the pressure of his older boss, friends, business associates and others for the sake of his reputation. He doesn't want the criticism of others affecting things like: his finances, relationship with his older children, or investments because he is with a younger woman. Sometimes older friends may actually like the idea he is with someone younger if it is bringing out the best in him. They may refer to his younger partner as "sexy, fun or good for you!"

A final concern that the couple may have is what their family thinks. Although family may have been very supportive in the past about the couple's former partners, they may not be so supportive when they see a drastic change in their relative's taste in a man or woman. They may ask, "Why this man? He is just too old for you! Aren't you concerned she might be a gold-digger? Don't you think she is too young?" The family may have forgotten about the times in their past when someone didn't like their mates because they were "too flashy, conceited, rude, arrogant, angry, or irresponsible." When the couple finds that they are being inundated with negativity from family, they may decline invites to holiday celebrations, avoid visiting unless absolutely necessary, attend functions separately, and/or limit what information they share about their relationship. These are all precautions they use to protect their feelings about their mate.

The younger woman and older man may have a great, long-lasting future if they can put aside the comments of well-meaning family members and friends. They may want to evaluate each statement made by people in their circles by looking for signs of hidden jealous, criticism or personal bias.