The young woman didn't know what she was getting herself into when she started dating the older man. She thought that dating this wealthy, handsome man was just the thing she needed to uplift her dismal lifestyle. The sexy, young woman had envisioned a lifestyle of travel, nice gifts, and romance. It didn't matter to her that most of her ideas on dating older came from a television reality show.
As the months grew into years, the young woman noticed many things about the older man that she simply didn't like. She wouldn't dare share all that she observed with loved ones and close friends, because years ago, they warned her not to date "that old man." They were concerned about her because the older guy had a bitter ex, a fluctuating income and stubborn, spoiled children from what they had heard. But she was in love, at least so the college graduate believed. If she could deal with crazy parents and wild roommates, she had reasoned dating the mature man would be a peace of cake. But it wasn't.
The young lady was depressed and ready to call it quits. Five years had gone by and she was weary of the ex calling and her boyfriend being what he called, "cordial for the sake of kids." She suspected that he cheated on her with the ex one time or another. The young woman had flew off the handle one too many times when his children were around; therefore, her boyfriend was carrying some hidden resentment because of those past episodes. He had his doubts about the relationship, wasn't interested in rekindling any fires with the ex, and really didn't want to have to parent his children. The young woman was a nice distraction, a good babysitter, cook and housekeeper sometimes. Yet, she really wasn't meant to be in his life for very long.
Talking with older women, brought some comfort for the niave youngster. She learned that men in her boyfriend's age group "had issues." She reflected on how she once was so captivated by her older friend's charm and thought about marriage and having children of her own with him, but not so much anymore. The young lady was changing like her man's unstable bank account. She didn't anticipate that practically over night, money would be no more, fancy trips would vanish, and some of his material wealth would be taken away or sold. Even worse, she had to give up some things he bought her to help him! The poor girl struggled with thoughts of loving her boyfriend and once loving his money. She hurt inside and at times felt like a fool for being so shallow when it came to getting her needs met. Why did she allow her independence to be suffocated by lust?
A child free, beautiful, single woman with her life to live should be happy living it, but not this young miserable woman. She knows that she permitted someone older and very selfish to redirect her lifestyle to fit his needs. When would she start living her life? It was obvious from the look on her boyfriend's face he had already lived his.
So the takeaway from this short fictional work is know the truth about your partner and be certain that you and he are willing to be in a relationship for better or for worse, rather than string one another a long with everything else, but love.
Nicholl McGuire created a video to help those who are in emotionally and physically abusive relationships. See here.
Friday
When the Relationship is Coming to an End: Things the Young Woman Might Do
Some young women just can't handle rejection from older men especially those who have been taken care of by a Sugar Daddy type. Like men, they too will do things to try to save their pride particularly if they aren't ready for a break up. Getting a partner's attention is one of the most popular things an immature, young woman will do even after the older gentleman has said, "It's over!"
Dress provocatively.
She attempts to win him back in her arms by making herself even more appealing and sexy. She thinks that if she can get him back in the bed, he will change his mind about her and the relationship. It may sound silly, even strange, that she would put herself out like that, but this is what some young women will do.
Change her appearance.
Now for some women, rather than use her sex appeal to charm her former partner back into her arms again, she will do some things like change her hairstyle, color, or other things that either send a bold statement or a subtle one like, "See, what you are missing! I will be fine without you. I am focused on me. I am a new and improved me, thanks to you!"
Cry.
The tears flow every time you come around or call her. She is pulling on your heart strings. She wants "things to get better...I still love you...I really want this to work..."
Laugh.
She may use a happy countenance as a lure to get her older partner to pay her attention. She figures that if she is jovial and fun to be around he won't mind being in her presence and will forget about breaking up with her.
Buy gifts.
Gift-giving works for the man who doesn't have much, but for the established man, not so much. Yet, the young woman will try to win his affections by buying her man something she thinks he will really like in the hopes of getting back in his good graces!
Here are other things she might do to halt a breakup:
Pop over his house unannounced.
Do outlandish things like send a naked photo of herself or show up naked.
Act insecure and jealous especially when he mentions talking to other women whether they are family or not.
Pick fights.
Dress half-naked or wear very tight clothes around his friends while making conversation possibly exchanging phone numbers.
Threaten to expose her lover's secrets or share details of their relationship with others.
Yell/scream, in other words, make a scene in a public place.
Do drugs or drink heavily before meeting her former lover.
Talk about committing suicide.
Use pregnancy as a good reason for the two of them to work things out. She may be pregnant, she may not be. Go to doctor's visits with her to be sure--don't take a sonogram photo as proof alone and get a DNA test as soon as possible.
When a woman uses many of these tactics to keep a man, you have to wonder how stable is her mindset during a tough time. Some women just are too fragile mentally to deal with breaking up, but staying with them knowing full well you no longer like, trust, or want to be around them is not good either. Unfortunately, verbal and physical abuse will fester and may even become so bad that one might lose his or her freedom! When the writing is on the wall that your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend is acting out of her mind, be sure to use the full extent of the law to keep you safe and anyone else you might be dating in the future.
Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.
Dress provocatively.
She attempts to win him back in her arms by making herself even more appealing and sexy. She thinks that if she can get him back in the bed, he will change his mind about her and the relationship. It may sound silly, even strange, that she would put herself out like that, but this is what some young women will do.
Change her appearance.
Now for some women, rather than use her sex appeal to charm her former partner back into her arms again, she will do some things like change her hairstyle, color, or other things that either send a bold statement or a subtle one like, "See, what you are missing! I will be fine without you. I am focused on me. I am a new and improved me, thanks to you!"
Cry.
The tears flow every time you come around or call her. She is pulling on your heart strings. She wants "things to get better...I still love you...I really want this to work..."
Laugh.
She may use a happy countenance as a lure to get her older partner to pay her attention. She figures that if she is jovial and fun to be around he won't mind being in her presence and will forget about breaking up with her.
Buy gifts.
Gift-giving works for the man who doesn't have much, but for the established man, not so much. Yet, the young woman will try to win his affections by buying her man something she thinks he will really like in the hopes of getting back in his good graces!
Here are other things she might do to halt a breakup:
Pop over his house unannounced.
Do outlandish things like send a naked photo of herself or show up naked.
Act insecure and jealous especially when he mentions talking to other women whether they are family or not.
Pick fights.
Dress half-naked or wear very tight clothes around his friends while making conversation possibly exchanging phone numbers.
Threaten to expose her lover's secrets or share details of their relationship with others.
Yell/scream, in other words, make a scene in a public place.
Do drugs or drink heavily before meeting her former lover.
Talk about committing suicide.
Use pregnancy as a good reason for the two of them to work things out. She may be pregnant, she may not be. Go to doctor's visits with her to be sure--don't take a sonogram photo as proof alone and get a DNA test as soon as possible.
When a woman uses many of these tactics to keep a man, you have to wonder how stable is her mindset during a tough time. Some women just are too fragile mentally to deal with breaking up, but staying with them knowing full well you no longer like, trust, or want to be around them is not good either. Unfortunately, verbal and physical abuse will fester and may even become so bad that one might lose his or her freedom! When the writing is on the wall that your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend is acting out of her mind, be sure to use the full extent of the law to keep you safe and anyone else you might be dating in the future.
Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.
Tuesday
He's More Interested in Sex than a Relationship - What to do?
He came off too strong the last time you two were together. His eyes were everywhere and his hands would have been too had you not stopped the horny guy. You would like to go out with him again, but you wonder if it is going to be more of the same? Yes, it will be if you keep teasing him with those lips, that dress, your gaze, sexy conversation, and whatever else you do that turns him on. You might want to think twice about being alone with him.
Young women take chances dating men who obviously want more than just dinner and a movie. He has told you over the phone what he wants and has also been quite bold in what he hopes to have happen the next time he sees you. So what do some young women do? They give into the wild man's desires even when these girls don't want to and unfortunately some get raped.
One must be on her guard when dating older men who are not acting like gentlemen, but more like men who haven't had sex in awhile. You can't have a great time with someone who talks often about having sex when you know you aren't ready. Think twice before going out with the man who can't seem to take "Later or in the future..." as a good enough answer. Pushy men might be violent men, so be careful.
Some things you might want to do:
1. Explain to him why he is turning you off with all his talk about having sex with you.
2. Distance yourself from him by not answering your phone everytime he calls or opening your door when he comes around. Talk with relatives and friends about your concerns if he keeps insisting that he wants to come over.
3. Be prepared to fight if he doesn't respect your boundaries. Have self-defense equipment and 911 on speed dial.
4. Don't ride in the car with him and arrange to have a future date in a public space if you must go out with this "I need sex right now" guy again.
5. You might feel the need to keep him in your life, but don't give up anything to get something, always find alternatives. A sexual bond with someone who doesn't care much about you and vice versa can take a long time to get over and you might have many regrets as a result. Young women have been known to have children they didn't want with men they were never attracted to. They have also walked away with sexually transmitted diseases among other things because they compromised their personal beliefs to satisfy someone else's. Don't let this happen to you!
When the writing is on the wall that your sexually-starved friend is more concerned about your body and less interested in anything else, don't think things will get better, because if you do what he likes, most likely he will find someone else to pursue in the future if you give up sex too soon.
Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com
Young women take chances dating men who obviously want more than just dinner and a movie. He has told you over the phone what he wants and has also been quite bold in what he hopes to have happen the next time he sees you. So what do some young women do? They give into the wild man's desires even when these girls don't want to and unfortunately some get raped.
One must be on her guard when dating older men who are not acting like gentlemen, but more like men who haven't had sex in awhile. You can't have a great time with someone who talks often about having sex when you know you aren't ready. Think twice before going out with the man who can't seem to take "Later or in the future..." as a good enough answer. Pushy men might be violent men, so be careful.
Some things you might want to do:
1. Explain to him why he is turning you off with all his talk about having sex with you.
2. Distance yourself from him by not answering your phone everytime he calls or opening your door when he comes around. Talk with relatives and friends about your concerns if he keeps insisting that he wants to come over.
3. Be prepared to fight if he doesn't respect your boundaries. Have self-defense equipment and 911 on speed dial.
4. Don't ride in the car with him and arrange to have a future date in a public space if you must go out with this "I need sex right now" guy again.
5. You might feel the need to keep him in your life, but don't give up anything to get something, always find alternatives. A sexual bond with someone who doesn't care much about you and vice versa can take a long time to get over and you might have many regrets as a result. Young women have been known to have children they didn't want with men they were never attracted to. They have also walked away with sexually transmitted diseases among other things because they compromised their personal beliefs to satisfy someone else's. Don't let this happen to you!
When the writing is on the wall that your sexually-starved friend is more concerned about your body and less interested in anything else, don't think things will get better, because if you do what he likes, most likely he will find someone else to pursue in the future if you give up sex too soon.
Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com
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