Tuesday

He's More Interested in Sex than a Relationship - What to do?

He came off too strong the last time you two were together.  His eyes were everywhere and his hands would have been too had you not stopped the horny guy.  You would like to go out with him again, but you wonder if it is going to be more of the same?  Yes, it will be if you keep teasing him with those lips, that dress, your gaze, sexy conversation, and whatever else you do that turns him on.  You might want to think twice about being alone with him.

Young women take chances dating men who obviously want more than just dinner and a movie.  He has told you over the phone what he wants and has also been quite bold in what he hopes to have happen the next time he sees you.  So what do some young women do?  They give into the wild man's desires even when these girls don't want to and unfortunately some get raped.

One must be on her guard when dating older men who are not acting like gentlemen, but more like men who haven't had sex in awhile.  You can't have a great time with someone who talks often about having sex when you know you aren't ready.  Think twice before going out with the man who can't seem to take "Later or in the future..." as a good enough answer.  Pushy men might be violent men, so be careful.

Some things you might want to do:

1.  Explain to him why he is turning you off with all his talk about having sex with you.

2.  Distance yourself from him by not answering your phone everytime he calls or opening your door when he comes around.  Talk with relatives and friends about your concerns if he keeps insisting that he wants to come over.

3.  Be prepared to fight if he doesn't respect your boundaries.  Have self-defense equipment and 911 on speed dial.

4.  Don't ride in the car with him and arrange to have a future date in a public space if you must go out with this "I need sex right now" guy again.

5.  You might feel the need to keep him in your life, but don't give up anything to get something, always find alternatives.  A sexual bond with someone who doesn't care much about you and vice versa can take a long time to get over and you might have many regrets as a result.  Young women have been known to have children they didn't want with men they were never attracted to.  They have also walked away with sexually transmitted diseases among other things because they compromised their personal beliefs to satisfy someone else's.  Don't let this happen to you!

When the writing is on the wall that your sexually-starved friend is more concerned about your body and less interested in anything else, don't think things will get better, because if you do what he likes, most likely he will find someone else to pursue in the future if you give up sex too soon.

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com

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