Tuesday

The Unpredictable Middle-Aged Man

His wife of 14 years never seen it coming. His co-workers were surprised when they heard about it. The sales clerk at his local neighborhood store would have never thought he was the type. They described him as "irresponsible, a jerk, strange..." Even worse, "crazy!" They described him as everything but "A middle-aged man having a crisis."

The once well-liked and respected man in crisis had given his job a two weeks notice, moved out the family home located in a well-kept rural neighborhood in his sports car, and said, "Goodbye" to long time friends all within a week!

The tall, still very handsome man in his forties, had found a bachelor pad in the city and a state-of-the-art gym as well. Within months he found something else too! A beautiful young woman in her twenties. The two were like teenagers kissing and holding hands often. He was so immersed with this woman that he barely noticed the divorce papers that showed up in the mail from his ex. He was in love under new management and he didn't care about the past he left behind at least for a time.

His children, a teen boy and girl, didn't know what to think of him, they asked mom about dad but continued through school participating in activities and performing above average in their studies. Sometimes a negative report from a teacher would follow them home for disrupting the class but that was about it -- the children were just taking one day at a time.

One day the former all-star college athlete was in deep thought reflecting on his life. He had felt guilty at times about what he had done. He had asked God for a since of direction, because he felt that he was a little out of control after coming home drunk with his young girlfriend four weekends straight. He remembered this life back in his twenties and he didn't like it much back then and he wasn't liking it much now. The partying and drinking had to stop!

Meanwhile his youthful mate wasn't ready to settle down like stay at home and watch TV every weekend, but she was willing to quit drinking and maybe cut down on her club activities. He discussed some of his thoughts with her, the ones he felt she could handle, but of course not all of them because he didn't completely trust a mate who was almost 20 years his junior with his emotions.

As the young woman learned more about this man, who she had yet to see as an "older man," she realized he wasn't necessarily a trustworthy character these days. "I mean he left his wife of 14 years for God sake!" She told herself, "What if he leaves me!?" So she told herself she had better do something and fast. One day she asked if they could talk in her most grown-up expression, you see she didn't have experience in these sorts of matters. "I just want to say I think we have a great relationship, but you know the other day when you were talking about moving in together, well I don't think that would be a good idea." He wondered why and she made up some excuse about how she didn't want to "cramp his style." She too, didn't think he could handle some of her thoughts either, since he was older and may have forgotten about the things that young people considered important like friends, travel, relocation, entertainment, etc. She wasn't looking for a father figure who would police her lifestyle, she was looking for a friend with benefits including emotional security.

She wanted to know he wouldn't just up and leave her like he did his former wife and children and so far he hadn't convinced her of that especially since he was dyeing his hair almost every two weeks, looking for yet another sports car, and complaining alot about his new job that paid him considerably less than the last one but he liked it because "it was fun!" To the smart young woman, he had signs of a ticking time bomb ready to explode again.

In time the two went their separate ways after their first child was born. That's right in between all the kissing and hugging the young woman was unwed and pregnant with her older man's baby. He promised to take care of her and briefly they did live together, but she had been a fool so she thought. She had quit her job to take care of the baby and so when they broke up she had nothing. One of his unpredictable mood swings sent her packing after an intense argument one day over all things, baby diapers! He had grew weary of buying them and felt she should leave the diaper on the baby longer. She didn't want to do it because of the terrible rash their son got once before. He complained about not having enough money for retirement. She complained about him not sharing money to care for his new family. Meanwhile, the old family was calling him every week, not for small talk, but money as well.

The unpredictable middle-aged man had made a mess of things due to those unresolved hidden emotions and desires buried deep within. He had watched far too many television shows that glorified his youth. He had listened to way too many of his old high school songs. He had immersed his walls with an overwhelming amount of photographs of the "has-been." It was time for a doctor's visit, a church visit, and a place of solitude to pen a plan that would suffice for the remaining part of his life if he so dared.

Nicholl McGuire, wrote this fictional story to help all parties understand the significant impact a male in mid-life can play on everyone he knows both good and bad.
Follow Nicholl on Twitter @nichollmcguire

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