Showing posts with label advice for younger women dating married men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice for younger women dating married men. Show all posts

Monday

Married Men will be Home for the Holidays

For the young women hoping that the married man will be with them during the holidays, think again!  If he does come around, he would have told a fantastic lie to relatives in order to get out of the home during the evening or late at night which he just might avoid being that family holidays is a time for togetherness.  If you see the married man before or during a holiday, it will be between his errand running and he will obviously look stressed and will be in a rush.  Wives may be busy, but not too busy to notice that something is a bit strange about their spouses.


These other women await for their unavailable men's return to their beds in the hopes that things will get back to the way they were. They hope the gifts of money, time and affection will continue as usual.  However, the holidays have a way of changing some men's hearts, minds and bank accounts when it comes to their other women.  No sense in acting like a crazed woman if the married man says, "Listen, I really don't think we should keep seeing each other.  I don't think it is a good idea..."


While these young women had hoped for babies to their new lovers, serious relationships or their older men to divorce their wives, there will be an unexplained energy in the air, the kind that includes prayers and curses coming their way depending on the kind of men these women decided to connect with.  As much as men and women reason that all is okay despite saying wedding vows before a supernatural God, the reality is, it isn't--it  really isn't.  Consider the countless media stories of scorned wives and lovers going off the deep end as a result of being cheated on and lied to.  Until a man is divorced, he shouldn't be leading any woman on, making her believe that he is ready to move on with his life when it is obvious, he is not.  So many men manipulate women then wonder why these sweet, beautiful young woman turn into crazy, obsessed b*tches, don't wonder, get out while you still have a mind and body intact as well as your freedom.  See blog on dating and domestic violence as well as other abuses http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com 


Women, who have been in relationships with the following types of unavailable men such as:  married men,  married abused men, abusive married men, or are involved with married Sugar Daddies, know what it feels like when it seems like one's world is mysteriously getting worse fooling around with these backslidden Christian oath takers who stood before a group of people to declare their love for wives knowing full well they never loved God, his church or the wives they are committed to! 


From health to finances, the young woman has more problems to solve while the unavailable man becomes less and less in their lives until he is no more!  Babies born in these relationships never fully get to know their fathers.  They are often forgotten about sooner or later, because the married man has to keep his mess away from his supposedly happy home. 


One or both know when an affair is coming to an end when usually the married man is not acting as kind, patient and generous like he once was.  He may find excuses not to come around his lover anymore or blatantly express his feelings of guilt, resentment, and anger toward wife and lover(s).


To eliminate some of the personal drama, it would make sense for any woman or man in a troubled relationship like this to end it, but there is always that but...or butt that makes things difficult.  If this describes your situation, one way of relieving some of the tension is to keep away from all things that tempt you to want to go back to a lover.  If her smile attracts you, rid yourself of images on and offline that remind you of her.  If seeing him at a nearby workplace makes you want him, then avoid watching him and going to that place whenever possible.  If she is one of your Facebook friends, a part of a dating network, a co-worker, or is in or around your home, or lives nearby, you will need to stop making an effort to talk and be with this young lady. 


People ignore one another everyday and when you are determined to get on with your life and rid yourself of past mistakes, you don't keep inviting them back into your world.  If a baby is involved, you have no choice but to do your part to help the young woman and your baby.  If you are a married father reading this, you most likely will have to share this information with your spouse if the young woman plans on letting the world know about the baby via the court system, media, or confronting your wife and other relatives. 


Most young women and older married men find each other as a source of escape from troubled marriages and mundane lifestyles.  It was a process to get together and it will be a process to break up, but it can be done.  Who wants to keep waiting by the phone for a call all hours of the day and night or worry over whether he or she is sleeping with someone else, stressed about money and gifts, or concerned that someone with a taste for blood just might find out about the relationship?


A man or woman who doesn't want to have to deal with the adrenaline rush of keeping secrets and telling lies during what is supposed to be a happy season, will stay home at least for a time.  Having an affair is work.  Telling lies and trying to keep up with those lies is exhausting.  Remembering to address the needs of a wife, tend to work responsibilities, and do for children and other relatives is hard work.  Then there is that young woman who thinks to herself, "What on earth did I get myself into?"  Free yourself.


Happy Holidays!
Nicholl McGuire

Wednesday

Health Issues, Ex Dilemmas, Unsupportive Children: Younger Woman Is He Worth It?

They tell you, " You are so young, why bother with that old man?"  You think to yourself, "Yeah, why?"  If you are thinking like this, then chances are this man is no longer worth your time young woman.  "There is so much life ahead of you," they say.  "They" (mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, friends, etc.) don't lie when it comes to wanting you happy.  Whay are you with him?  There is, if you plan well, someone out there for you who wants marriage, children, and no additional baggage (like children from a previous relationship, a jealous ex, and unresolved issues on the job or with friends).  You just have to be patient and discerning.  Why be that depressed, young woman on this older man's arm faking smiles (and for some young women, orgasms too with a man who obviously doesn't turn you on anymore, if ever).

Let's just be honest, some men (and women too) just don't see their flaws or their personal dramas.  If they do, they ignore them and hope that the person they are with will ignore them too.  But how long will you look the other way when his soldier isn't standing erect, his children are being disrespectful or when he is often tired when you are ready to do anything but watch TV for leisure every weekend!  There is something wrong when an older man doesn't appreciate or act interested in a woman who is young, sexy, energetic, caring, and intelligent.  If all he can see and complain about is say:  her annoying friend, her interests in her family, the way she organizes the house, or some odd thing she does with her eyes, then you have to wonder what kind of man is he. A perfectionist, controlling, stubborn, or just weird?

Yes, young woman, you who happened to come across this blog, could have someone more compatible.  But for some of you, you keep your old man around like he does an old lazy boy chair, he's comfortable--that's right, comfortable.  He may look worn, tired and may have a few things wrong with him, but he is still comfortable to sit or lay on.  You just don't have the courage nor desire to trade him for a new one.  The signs are all around you, "Get a new chair!  Here's a quality one, better than the one you got...come get me!"  the new, improved chair just screams, "I'm here. I can do a good job too!"  But what do some young women do, look for reasons to keep their old chairs like their old men around until they have simply had enough!  "I am tired of your lazy, old behind...can't you do more for me besides sit there and do nothing!  Why do I still see the stains of exs, children and your health issues years later!  What the X%$# have I got myself into?"  the disgruntled younger woman yells.

When she has made up her mind (and one day she will) and sees that the old dog just won't do any new tricks with her (and only her), she will leave sooner or later.  Pray for yourself or if you know someone in a relationship like this, pray for her.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of When Mothers Cry 

One of the Worst Mistakes a Young Woman Makes When Dating Older Men

I was thinking about one of the worst mistakes I made as well as other young women that I have known over the years who have dated someone older. The worst mistake we made was trust that everything an older, married man tells you is truth.

Gullible young women who want to be loved fall for the old, "I don't love my wife" trick.  They assume that the relationship between the older man and his ex is emotionally and physically over after 10 plus years and that somehow the once loyal, married older man is now in love with the younger woman.  Not so fast!  Even if he isn't sleeping with that older woman that he has left behind, doesn't mean that his heart is over her.

tipsdatingoldermen.BlogSpot.com
Young women want older men who can love them the way they want to be loved.  These women have had bad experiences with young, immature men.  What a breath of fresh air when the young woman finds an older man who sincerely loves her even if he is still married!  However, beware that there are some married men who just need a temporary distraction, something that will make them forget about their future ex who just so happens to be the mother of their children, a business partner, or an on again off again lover.

Young women, don't allow yourselves to be caught in a married man's lies!  "I don't love her...we never have sex...I wasn't sleeping with her...I don't visit her...we don't talk on the phone...I'm going to divorce her and marry you...I love you...we have so much in common..."

The deceptive, older man manipulates his words to get you to perform in ways that he wants.  If he desires to date you and wants you to date him exclusively, then he will make himself more available to you and he might give you some money and gifts to keep you interested.  If he wants sex from you, then he will test you to see how much work he might have to put in to get you to go to bed with him.  Meanwhile, his heart may be reserved for that woman he left who helped him raise children, build a business, invest in property, and more.  You might recall the deceptive, older man say something to you like, "I broke up with the ex because we no longer got along, she was boring...didn't appreciate me...always argued...cheated."  Sure, and he never did anything wrong always said, "please and thank you."  Don't fall for it!

One day that older man is going to realize that he would have been better off with the wife of his youth; rather than try to get a new one to preserve his youth and that's when hearts will be broken.  Don't be gullible!  Young women, watch more and talk less when dealing with an older man and never trust everything he says as truth until proven otherwise.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

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