A age gap dating advice blog that provides valuable tips when dating older men and younger women. Thought-provoking relationship tips for older men seeking to date younger women. Please be advised to seek a professional for serious issues. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling. This blog is not for people under the age of 18.
Wednesday
Nicholl Shares Thoughts From a Spiritual Perspective for Women Dating Older Men
Here is some thoughtful insight on dating someone older for the younger women. Hopefully, you will walk carefully and choose wisely. Enjoy the video!
Sugar Baby, Sugar Daddy
by Nicholl McGuire who is the writer of this blog and other ones. She also has written various nonfiction books including When Mothers Cry
For Some Men & Women It's Just Sex
There is nothing significant about that new sexual partner that makes an individual desire a long term commitment particularly when that isn't what he or she truly wants anyway. For some couples, it's just sex--nothing more and nothing less, that is until emotions get in the way!
A man in a 10 plus years marriage, who lies about it, is looking for someone or something to break a mundane lifestyle, but his intentions is not to lie down with his younger fling forever and always. If he were completely honest, he would tell her so. A young woman with many bills, an active lifestyle, and isn't interested in dating younger guys these days because she has needs that goes beyond the bedroom, is most likely not seeking a long-term commitment either especially if the mature man isn't offering much conversation or affection. Both have immediate needs, but a long term future, not likely.
When we find ourselves seeking people who are mentally or physically unavailable (or maybe we are the ones guilty of this sort of behavior) and have no strong desire to be nothing more than bedroom partners, you have to wonder, "What is going on with me?" It is better to be alone and content then to be with someone who is going to lie about loving his wife or be with a younger woman who just wants to manipulate men for selfish gain. So much emotional energy wrapped up into something that has no solid foundation!
Some couples in wishy washy relationships end up leaving them with a few mental marbles loose. Words are exchanged during bedroom sessions that tickle ears and before long, a lover believes that something more might come out of this short-term fling only to be left heartbroken. "We agreed, we wouldn't get serious, remember!? I told you I am in a relationship, I have children!" the married man yells. "But I love you and you said I was the best thing in your life!" the young woman cries. "I know what I said, but that was when we were having sex!" her lover retorts.
I think of times during my past when I was misled into thinking that some men were sincerely into me and only me. But later, I would learn that I was the alternative, the back up plan until cheating men would be welcomed back into the arms of their number one girls. "Stupid me," I would think. Assuming that a nice guy was right for me. There is a whole lot more going on with nice guys besides what meets the eye--I am a witness!
There are those nice guys who are bad guys. They seek out women who are willing to go out with them and eventually lay with them. If she doesn't do what he wants on his time schedule, then she is marked as "hard to get" and then he is on to the next one. Older, more experienced, men are clever. They will say just about anything to fulfill sexual needs. I recall a man promise to let me stay at his large home with a pool and other amenities he thought I liked (mind you, I don't know how to swim, see how much he paid attention to me?) He used what he had to lure me to come over an entertain him (yet some men don't want gold-diggers, why use your wealth to charm?) I politely declined his request. He had an impatient and irritated tone to his voice and lost my number. That older man made his intentions clear and I made my boundaries clear.
Too many young women settle for foolishness for material wealth. But one day, reality sets in and you find yourself looking in the mirror at your ugly self. You start asking that immature woman inside of you the hard questions, "Why do I put myself through this? Why can't I just sit back and enjoy my life for a bit; rather than worry over dates?"
Remember, once you see signs and listen closely to one's intentions while dating, you have a choice, either you will raise your red flag or you will give in. If you should give in to a man or woman's demands, be prepared to enter a journey that you might or might not be ready for. There will be surprises and they won't all be good. There will be emotional highs and lows that might leave you feeling like you are out of control. And, most of all, there will most likely be disappointments because you will quickly learn, the more you get to know someone, the more you realize sex isn't all you need. Before long, you will be on that path of trying to break free from your lover which isn't always easy to do.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.
A man in a 10 plus years marriage, who lies about it, is looking for someone or something to break a mundane lifestyle, but his intentions is not to lie down with his younger fling forever and always. If he were completely honest, he would tell her so. A young woman with many bills, an active lifestyle, and isn't interested in dating younger guys these days because she has needs that goes beyond the bedroom, is most likely not seeking a long-term commitment either especially if the mature man isn't offering much conversation or affection. Both have immediate needs, but a long term future, not likely.
When we find ourselves seeking people who are mentally or physically unavailable (or maybe we are the ones guilty of this sort of behavior) and have no strong desire to be nothing more than bedroom partners, you have to wonder, "What is going on with me?" It is better to be alone and content then to be with someone who is going to lie about loving his wife or be with a younger woman who just wants to manipulate men for selfish gain. So much emotional energy wrapped up into something that has no solid foundation!
Some couples in wishy washy relationships end up leaving them with a few mental marbles loose. Words are exchanged during bedroom sessions that tickle ears and before long, a lover believes that something more might come out of this short-term fling only to be left heartbroken. "We agreed, we wouldn't get serious, remember!? I told you I am in a relationship, I have children!" the married man yells. "But I love you and you said I was the best thing in your life!" the young woman cries. "I know what I said, but that was when we were having sex!" her lover retorts.
I think of times during my past when I was misled into thinking that some men were sincerely into me and only me. But later, I would learn that I was the alternative, the back up plan until cheating men would be welcomed back into the arms of their number one girls. "Stupid me," I would think. Assuming that a nice guy was right for me. There is a whole lot more going on with nice guys besides what meets the eye--I am a witness!
There are those nice guys who are bad guys. They seek out women who are willing to go out with them and eventually lay with them. If she doesn't do what he wants on his time schedule, then she is marked as "hard to get" and then he is on to the next one. Older, more experienced, men are clever. They will say just about anything to fulfill sexual needs. I recall a man promise to let me stay at his large home with a pool and other amenities he thought I liked (mind you, I don't know how to swim, see how much he paid attention to me?) He used what he had to lure me to come over an entertain him (yet some men don't want gold-diggers, why use your wealth to charm?) I politely declined his request. He had an impatient and irritated tone to his voice and lost my number. That older man made his intentions clear and I made my boundaries clear.
Too many young women settle for foolishness for material wealth. But one day, reality sets in and you find yourself looking in the mirror at your ugly self. You start asking that immature woman inside of you the hard questions, "Why do I put myself through this? Why can't I just sit back and enjoy my life for a bit; rather than worry over dates?"
Remember, once you see signs and listen closely to one's intentions while dating, you have a choice, either you will raise your red flag or you will give in. If you should give in to a man or woman's demands, be prepared to enter a journey that you might or might not be ready for. There will be surprises and they won't all be good. There will be emotional highs and lows that might leave you feeling like you are out of control. And, most of all, there will most likely be disappointments because you will quickly learn, the more you get to know someone, the more you realize sex isn't all you need. Before long, you will be on that path of trying to break free from your lover which isn't always easy to do.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.
Monday
Age Gap Relationships - Tips For Dating An Older Man | WeLoveDates
Here's an article worth sharing. Although the information is similar to what I have here, I feel it is a friendly reminder for those young women interested in dating older men, enjoy!
Age Gap Relationships - Tips For Dating An Older Man | WeLoveDates
Age Gap Relationships - Tips For Dating An Older Man | WeLoveDates
Wednesday
You Are What You Create: When the Older Man and Younger Woman Collide
How you begin a relationship sets the foundation for many things more to come. There are mature men who don't mind spending wads of cash on their younger companions from the start of the relationship, but there are those men who hold on to their money as if they fear spending it. Then you have those men in between who know how to balance their wealth and spread it around such as: save, invest, donate, and so on. When you are in a relationship with any woman, whether young or old, you have to take a good long look at yourself. When things start to go wrong, you have to admit that somewhere down the line you presented yourself one way and your date saw you in a totally different way. Whether you were clear about your intentions, habits, beliefs and other things, evidently you didn't make your point crystal clear--now the drama begins.
Some men disguise themselves as being the playful, outgoing and talkative types with younger women, at least in the beginning of the relationship; however, in time, they begin to get comfortable, too comfortable. The same is true for younger women too. Rather than seeing his younger partner as different than he and vice versa while trying to adjust, he hopes that she will act more like him--laid back, a home body, and whatever else he truly sees himself to be.
Younger, active women have a hard time with older men who don't have much going on outside their jobs and television screens. If a mature date presented himself not to be the couch potato type early on, then that is what she expects to see, a man who is doing more outside or around the home besides sitting, eating and sleeping. When the truth comes out about some older men's intentions, habits, and more, he becomes irritable, disappointed, and somehow blames his partner for the false impression he gave her from the start. "I don't like going places...I don't like seeing shows...I prefer to stay home...I never said I liked that..." the once handsome, active older man who presented himself as such, behind the scenes, is nothing more than a grumpy old man. Now the relationship takes an ugly turn, "Well, if I would have known this is how you truly are...I would have..." the younger woman complains. "I thought you knew I was this way!" he retorts.
Age differences play a part in a May-December relationship. There are those older men who prefer to go to bed early, while others stay up late into the night while nodding on and off in front of TV or computer screens. There are younger women who do the same. But if no one shows his or her true colors from the start, then you don't know what you might get later on down the road.
You are what you create. If you don't want a gold digger, then don't spend money like your younger date is one. If you don't want a lazy older man, then don't do everything for him. You get the point? So do take a good, long look at what you have done so far that caused unnecessary drama in your relationship and work to change it before someone threatens to break up--that is if that hasn't happened already (sigh).
Nicholl McGuire
Some men disguise themselves as being the playful, outgoing and talkative types with younger women, at least in the beginning of the relationship; however, in time, they begin to get comfortable, too comfortable. The same is true for younger women too. Rather than seeing his younger partner as different than he and vice versa while trying to adjust, he hopes that she will act more like him--laid back, a home body, and whatever else he truly sees himself to be.
Younger, active women have a hard time with older men who don't have much going on outside their jobs and television screens. If a mature date presented himself not to be the couch potato type early on, then that is what she expects to see, a man who is doing more outside or around the home besides sitting, eating and sleeping. When the truth comes out about some older men's intentions, habits, and more, he becomes irritable, disappointed, and somehow blames his partner for the false impression he gave her from the start. "I don't like going places...I don't like seeing shows...I prefer to stay home...I never said I liked that..." the once handsome, active older man who presented himself as such, behind the scenes, is nothing more than a grumpy old man. Now the relationship takes an ugly turn, "Well, if I would have known this is how you truly are...I would have..." the younger woman complains. "I thought you knew I was this way!" he retorts.
Age differences play a part in a May-December relationship. There are those older men who prefer to go to bed early, while others stay up late into the night while nodding on and off in front of TV or computer screens. There are younger women who do the same. But if no one shows his or her true colors from the start, then you don't know what you might get later on down the road.
You are what you create. If you don't want a gold digger, then don't spend money like your younger date is one. If you don't want a lazy older man, then don't do everything for him. You get the point? So do take a good, long look at what you have done so far that caused unnecessary drama in your relationship and work to change it before someone threatens to break up--that is if that hasn't happened already (sigh).
Nicholl McGuire
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy's Unlikely Romance Is Still Going Strong - Yahoo! omg!
In this example, Mary Kate looks very young especially in one photo where she looks like his daughter. It makes one feel like the dirty older man is being naughty.
If you are going to date someone who doesn't look close to your age, you might want to lose the little girl look if you want to gain some respect. Unfortunately, looks matter in our society.
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy's Unlikely Romance Is Still Going Strong - Yahoo! omg!
If you are going to date someone who doesn't look close to your age, you might want to lose the little girl look if you want to gain some respect. Unfortunately, looks matter in our society.
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy's Unlikely Romance Is Still Going Strong - Yahoo! omg!
You going to get worms - older dating younger - YouTube
"You gon' get worms!" This is a statement that some older people in the African American community tease younger people with for dating someone older. Funny video with valid points, enjoy!
You gone get worms - YouTube
You gone get worms - YouTube
Thursday
Do Some Say You Are Wise? Your Date Might Not Appreciate Wisdom
Nowadays lighthearted, silly statements in videos, movies and
songs seem to get the popular vote. For
many, life is just too dull, serious, routine, and so on. So single daters seek a pick me up whether that be in
a person, place or thing. However, what daters should seek is love and wisdom above moments of laughter.
Many young people who haven’t experienced much in life such as: long-term relationships,
consistent employment, foreign travel, years of parenting, etc. bring a limited view to one deemed wise and
one who is mature and has no direction, well he or she is considered nothing
more than a fool.
Now if you put two
immature, inexperienced people together, the chances that the couple will get
along are quite good at least for a time until serious issues come up. But if you pair a
wise person (whether young or old) with someone who is unwise mentally and
spiritually, you will have an unbalanced relationship where one is often
investing knowledge, love, experiences, and possibly money, while the other is like a bump on a
log. After awhile, the one receiving all
those wise tips is going to get weary of his or her partner, since he or she has very little to bring to the relationship, and eventually
resent him or her. On the other hand,
the wise person is going to regret having wasted so much time hoping for compatibility and a return on his or her investment.
Foolish people don’t like spiritual people and vice
versa. If you are wise, don’t manipulate yourself into
thinking that you can change, re-arrange, create, or motivate a silly, immature
or uneducated person to act the way you want.
If you believe this, then consider yourself controlling.
Now there are those who you know who may enjoy
your teachings and thoughtful insight, but they don’t spend as much time with
you like an intimate partner would.
Wisdom is not popular, doesn’t rank high when it comes to character
attributes, and isn’t what young people consider, “Cool.” Besides, there are
even older adults who run from wisdom because they don’t want to feel: old, convicted
about sins, or think they should change.
So if you are one who has been told you are “wise,” be
mindful that those you might attract may not be as wise as you. They also will not help you toward creating the
kind of relationship you so desire either especially if they don’t respect or appreciate
wise people.
You can test dates simply by sharing biblical quotes, thoughts on love, philosophical concepts related to things you think he or she enjoys, etc. Then watch your date's reactions. Do this enough times
in different ways on different days (especially bible related verses), and the apple of your eye will begin to
look spoiled to you. Once you realize
this person is definitely not someone you could see yourself spending your life
with, break free. Don’t be like so many
who try to rescue, rehabilitate, change, or build up fools. If one cannot or refuses to do anything that
will make them better in all that he or she does, yet you are this type, then you don’t
want to choose the broken, emotionally hurt, and wounded for a life-long partner.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street and other books.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street and other books.
Wednesday
7 Mistakes Some Mature Men Make with Younger Women
He finds someone who he really likes, a younger woman,
someone who looks like she could be his daughter. The more he spends time with her, the more he
sees a future with her. However, there
are obstacles internally and externally that prevent this courtship from being a wonderful, memorable experience.
The mature man made some
mistakes during this age gap dating experience that makes her question his loyalty, possibly caused discord among
family and friends while leaving the couple feeling uneasy about the future.
You could be making the same errors when it
comes to dating younger women.
One. Are you impressing the
younger woman with your material wealth?
Stop it. If you don't want a gold-digger don't encourage her to act like one. Be humble, modest about your wealth. If asked, answer briefly, but avoid bragging.
Two. Did you tell others how
old she is?
If you did already, stop that too. If you don't want condemnation, don't invite it! The more you talk about how young and youthful she is, the more the uncomfortable tension in the air will grow especially amongst jealous older women. You will be making it hard for her to be welcomed into your inner circle when you bring up her age often.
Three. Are you having sex
before really feeling comfortable enough to be seen with her in public places?
Don't do it again when you know you aren't ready to present her in front of everyone. You are only setting yourself up for future arguments. If you aren't serious about her, don't make her think you are.
Four. Do you talk about your
young partner with exs in order to create a desire for
them to want to reconnect?
Why would any man do this? But they do. An ex is an ex for a reason and drawing her out of her cave of anger and confusion by talking about your new girlfriend often is only going to make matters worse sooner or later.
Five. Do you lie or cover up
unflattering details of your life in order to keep your young partner
around?
So as to appear like he is in the know and is "cool," some older men will not share much about themselves and act more interested in their date. If you want an open, honest relationship, it would make sense to share aspects of yourself as they come up, not hide them.
Six. Are you acting
controlling, like a father, and forbid her to have a life apart from you?
A younger woman can detect a father figure a mile away. Some gravitate to older men because there are some things that they do that remind them of their fathers. However, many don't want their partner to become their father. So when you find yourself monitoring her every activity, you have to ask yourself, "Do I have a desire for a daughter?" If this is the case, let her go, don't use her to fulfill your void.
Seven. Do you keep her a
secret and then spring her on critical family and friends?
There relationship is not off to a good start when you can't even talk to your family about her or you feel apprehensive about sharing someone that you love with them. Conquer the fear and the nervousness simply by preparing everyone who you know will support you and leave out those you know you don't. Springing a younger woman up on anyone will make them do more gossiping than welcoming--and how do you think that negativity in the air will make your partner feel?
Take a moment to pray, plan, and protect that one you believe is the apple of your eye!
Nicholl McGuire
Monday
Whose Whispering in His Ear, Her Ear?
A younger woman and an older man in a dating relationship is often critiqued by those who think he is too old and she is too young. The critic doing the questioning is often jealous or has been hurt in the past having been in a similar relationship.
The opposition against the relationship can be so stressful at times, that sometimes a younger woman or older man dating one another will cave under the pressure. He starts permitting his mind to be open to what an ex, mother, sister, brother, cousin or someone else says about his choice in a partner. The younger woman starts believing what the aunt, grandmother, or friend believes about her man's intentions. Before long, the couple lies in one another's arms with other people's concerns on their minds while distrusting one another.
The couple is also more likely to see the flaws in each other; therefore, one's attitude might be often negative. She becomes easily irritated with him. He starts focusing on all the things that make her wrong for him. Neither one truly sees the part that the outside forces have played on the relationship. She thinks, "It's him." He thinks, "It's her." No one bothers to trace back their negative emotions to that phone call with a jealous friend who isn't in any serious relationship or that mother who is jilted because her husband doesn't treat her so well. "Why do I feel this way?" The couple should ask. "It wasn't that long ago that I felt my partner was "the one," what changed over time? Who have I been talking and listening to?"
The sooner you take control over your emotional mood swings concerning the relationship, the better! Consider the source. When you find that the person you are spending time with encourages you to talk about your significant, cut him or her off and turn the tables around on him or her, "How is your relationship...what have you been doing lately?" Chances are they aren't too busy or too happy, because why would they bother to involve themselves in your personal business? After you know whose been aiding you negatively, the next thing you want to do is limit your conversations with this person or gradually cut him or her off when it comes to your personal business. You will also want to spend more time focusing on the positive regarding your relationship and work toward winning your partner's trust, respect, love, etc. If you don't back up your love with some action, unfortunately your relationship will be doomed to fail. Keep negative, foolish people out of your ear!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
The opposition against the relationship can be so stressful at times, that sometimes a younger woman or older man dating one another will cave under the pressure. He starts permitting his mind to be open to what an ex, mother, sister, brother, cousin or someone else says about his choice in a partner. The younger woman starts believing what the aunt, grandmother, or friend believes about her man's intentions. Before long, the couple lies in one another's arms with other people's concerns on their minds while distrusting one another.
The couple is also more likely to see the flaws in each other; therefore, one's attitude might be often negative. She becomes easily irritated with him. He starts focusing on all the things that make her wrong for him. Neither one truly sees the part that the outside forces have played on the relationship. She thinks, "It's him." He thinks, "It's her." No one bothers to trace back their negative emotions to that phone call with a jealous friend who isn't in any serious relationship or that mother who is jilted because her husband doesn't treat her so well. "Why do I feel this way?" The couple should ask. "It wasn't that long ago that I felt my partner was "the one," what changed over time? Who have I been talking and listening to?"
The sooner you take control over your emotional mood swings concerning the relationship, the better! Consider the source. When you find that the person you are spending time with encourages you to talk about your significant, cut him or her off and turn the tables around on him or her, "How is your relationship...what have you been doing lately?" Chances are they aren't too busy or too happy, because why would they bother to involve themselves in your personal business? After you know whose been aiding you negatively, the next thing you want to do is limit your conversations with this person or gradually cut him or her off when it comes to your personal business. You will also want to spend more time focusing on the positive regarding your relationship and work toward winning your partner's trust, respect, love, etc. If you don't back up your love with some action, unfortunately your relationship will be doomed to fail. Keep negative, foolish people out of your ear!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
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