It’s Not Always Easy Dating Someone Almost Half Your Age (Younger or Older)

You may not admit it to those around you because you don’t want them to tell you, “I told you so.” But it’s really not easy to date someone with a mindset that is from decades ago when women/men acted this way and that way.  It can be challenging to be with someone who has more energy than you and sees years ahead of them to get things right, while you think “I don’t have long to live to not get things right.” 

So on and on we think about just how different we are from one another—older man, younger woman—until that one day when he or she says some things that make us feel like, “Well maybe we aren’t that different…”  But then disagreements come up and suffocate all the niceties, don’t they?  Things are said that remind us of those age differences once again.  “She is so immature!”  He says.  “He is so old and boring!” She thinks.

You try to deny the truth and suppress your uncomfortable feelings, but neither is working.  For some couples, they start obsessing about ending the relationship.  Then they enlist others to encourage them, “Maybe being with him/her is not what you really want.  If you would have listened to me, I would have introduced you to someone who was more your age.” 

When you are all alone at home or in your car and with no distraction, you have to make up in your mind whether you are committed to this younger woman or older man.  Are you?  You have to be the one that decides if this person is worth all the criticism, future joy AND upset, health issues, etc.  If you know that you just don’t have the energy, mindset or time to commit to the relationship; then don’t deceive yourself or that older man or younger woman who might possibly be in love with you.  Let this person know that you are not interested in marriage, living together, children, or anything else that typical committed couples have.  Rather, tell the one you admire (or possibly might love) that you are still working on some areas in your life, and you are not quite ready to settle down.  It is better that you are open and truthful, this way your lover/friend can prepare his or herself emotionally and not demand any commitment from you.

How to Know if your Girlfriend is Crazy | PurpleSlinky

How to Know if your Girlfriend is Crazy | PurpleSlinky

Younger Women: When an Older Man Denies He is Having a Mid-Life Crisis | BeyondJane

Younger Women: When an Older Man Denies He is Having a Mid-Life Crisis | BeyondJane

You Don't Need a Husband, You Want a Temporary Lover

Young women everywhere consider this question, "Do I want or need a husband?"  There is a difference between wanting and needing.  A want is simply thinking about having something, but there is no pressing need to get it.  "I want a Mercedes Benz, but I could live without it," says a fan.  But her friend says, "Well, I need to get one, because my dad and I are in business together and we have to make a statement when we pass by observers.  Besides, I hear they are good road cars and we will be traveling a lot."  So you see the difference between wanting and needing.  When it comes to men, like cars, there are those you need and others you just want.

There might be women in your circle pressuring you into thinking you need to consider getting married, while all you really want is a temporary friend with benefits.  Of course, church-goers frown on the latter.   However, being that we live in a world that appears to celebrate all things immoral, it isn't any wonder why many women opt out of a potential marriage and prefer singleness.  In addition, when you are a woman, who has it all ie.) material wealth, children from a previous relationship, good friends, etc., what good is a man other than for periodic sex anyway?  This is how some women think and men know it, so they are careful not to fall in love with the "I have it all" types.  Yet, what tends to happen over time is a woman starts wanting a serious relationship with a man who she has convinced for years she doesn't want as a husband, how might you think he will react?  "Marriage?  Uh.  I thought you didn't want anything serious?" he questions.

Be certain of your feelings, what you hope to give and take from a relationship, and why you may or may not be interested in a long-term commitment.  Communicate your thoughts to your future husband or temporary lover. 

Nicholl is the Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
October is Domestic Violence Awareness
http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com

Spiritual Message for Broken-hearted Women Dating, Relationships - YouTube

Spiritual Message for Broken-hearted Women Dating, Relationships - YouTube

Health Issues, Ex Dilemmas, Unsupportive Children: Younger Woman Is He Worth It?

They tell you, " You are so young, why bother with that old man?"  You think to yourself, "Yeah, why?"  If you are thinking like this, then chances are this man is no longer worth your time young woman.  "There is so much life ahead of you," they say.  "They" (mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, friends, etc.) don't lie when it comes to wanting you happy.  Whay are you with him?  There is, if you plan well, someone out there for you who wants marriage, children, and no additional baggage (like children from a previous relationship, a jealous ex, and unresolved issues on the job or with friends).  You just have to be patient and discerning.  Why be that depressed, young woman on this older man's arm faking smiles (and for some young women, orgasms too with a man who obviously doesn't turn you on anymore, if ever).

Let's just be honest, some men (and women too) just don't see their flaws or their personal dramas.  If they do, they ignore them and hope that the person they are with will ignore them too.  But how long will you look the other way when his soldier isn't standing erect, his children are being disrespectful or when he is often tired when you are ready to do anything but watch TV for leisure every weekend!  There is something wrong when an older man doesn't appreciate or act interested in a woman who is young, sexy, energetic, caring, and intelligent.  If all he can see and complain about is say:  her annoying friend, her interests in her family, the way she organizes the house, or some odd thing she does with her eyes, then you have to wonder what kind of man is he. A perfectionist, controlling, stubborn, or just weird?

Yes, young woman, you who happened to come across this blog, could have someone more compatible.  But for some of you, you keep your old man around like he does an old lazy boy chair, he's comfortable--that's right, comfortable.  He may look worn, tired and may have a few things wrong with him, but he is still comfortable to sit or lay on.  You just don't have the courage nor desire to trade him for a new one.  The signs are all around you, "Get a new chair!  Here's a quality one, better than the one you got...come get me!"  the new, improved chair just screams, "I'm here. I can do a good job too!"  But what do some young women do, look for reasons to keep their old chairs like their old men around until they have simply had enough!  "I am tired of your lazy, old behind...can't you do more for me besides sit there and do nothing!  Why do I still see the stains of exs, children and your health issues years later!  What the X%$# have I got myself into?"  the disgruntled younger woman yells.

When she has made up her mind (and one day she will) and sees that the old dog just won't do any new tricks with her (and only her), she will leave sooner or later.  Pray for yourself or if you know someone in a relationship like this, pray for her.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of When Mothers Cry 

Sociopath Experience Pt 1 - Younger Woman with Older Man - YouTube

Sociopath Experience Pt 1 - YouTube

Meeting Men Via an Internet Dating Site: A Personal Story | BeyondJane

Meeting Men Via an Internet Dating Site: A Personal Story | BeyondJane

What to Do When You Want to Break Up with an Older Man | BeyondJane

What to Do When You Want to Break Up with an Older Man | BeyondJane

Young Bride Divorced Rich Old Man Because She Can’t Keep Up

Here's a good example why you should do more observing and less talking when you date a rich, older man, you might learn a thing or two like his lifestyle is incompatible with yours.

Young Bride Divorced Rich Old Man Because She Can’t Keep Up