Charm Then Grow Cold - When They Love and Leave Them

The smitten older man does what he can to draw the young lady into his arms and then when things get a bit stale, holidays show up, or requests are made to spend more time together, he grows cold toward his partner.  The young woman thinks the older man is something special until relationship challenges show up.  These people who fall out of love (lust) quickly, charm and then grow distant are difficult to be in relationships with--they will not remain committed for long.  The holidays can motivate some couples to behave this way especially if they have a long history of breaking hearts or being heartbroken.

What is it about those who love others then leave them?  Do they really want committed relationships?  Sometimes they do, but they don't want to take a look at their personal pain, heal from it, and move on to a quality relationship.  For some, they are simply too tired, lazy, self-absorbed, or emotionally wounded to bother.  They don't examine the influences around them growing up, they don't address the trauma they have gone through, and they often believe themselves to be right even when they are wrong in the way that they treat people.

Anyone who insists on reaching out to Mr. or Ms. Charmer while ignoring the truth about who they really are (liar, evil, selfish, abusive, etc.) is headed toward a long, drawn-out path of heartbreak, make up to break up games, and mind-boggling behaviors that make one go mad.  Being in a relationship with the charmer isn't like the movies, where the guy or gal finally realizes how much he or she loves and then fights to get his or her partner back.  Instead, the future is comprised of long disputes and much pain, because the wounded one never wanted to get to the root cause of why he or she loves and then leaves them.  In time, they cheat and cheat some more on the gullible.

Like bored people get weary of old phones, manipulators get weary of old relationships.  They don't see the value of sticking it out with one person for as long as they live.  If you are not living your life in such a way that keeps someone interested, they will eventually stray especially if he or she is younger.  Young people have a lot they look forward to doing in the future and an uninteresting older person can and will be a burden sooner or later particularly if he or she is way past child-bearing years.

Charming anyone regardless of age is great if you can keep up the act.  However, as we know, who once charmed, we can't keep people interested forever.  You know when a relationship is headed south when the following is occurring:

1)  You are frequently bored in the relationship.
2)  You receive nothing mentally or physically from a partner.
3)  He or she doesn't bother to share anything of interest including future plans.
4)  Where he or she once included you in on event planning, there is no more of that and he or she may not even bother to call you about doing anything together.
5)  You feel like you are cramping his or her space whenever you are around him or her.
6) The charmer no longer makes time for you.  The excuse is always, "I'm busy...I don't have time.  Could you do that without me?"
7)  Refuses to deal with issues that are negatively impacting the relationship.

Nicholl McGuire