The Ugly Reality of Dating an Older Partner with Low T or Hormonal Issues

He isn’t going to tell you that his body was part responsible for ending his last relationship with someone who was close to his age. Instead, he is going to tell you that “things just didn’t work out.” His former partner who suffers with mood swings, hot flashes and more is not going to admit that her fluctuating emotions is what ran her husband out of the house and into the arms of another woman younger than she. Both will “act” as if that’s how life is, and so they move on, or do they?

Some menopausal wives recognize their actions and inactions in their marriages and will work hard to try to restore them even going so far as to say downright foolish things to try to keep their husbands. Then there are those men with health issues, who may still want to be with their wives, but not live with them, so they will try to live double lives. He may be with his wife on one day and then with his girlfriend on another day and so on.

Ashamed, miserable, and broken, what once was is no more for some couples who have been together for 10 plus years. Yet, for others, their younger partners become nothing more than past times until the former couple gets whatever needs to be fixed in their minds, bodies and spirits. An aha moment comes and before long, he is wanting to get remarried to his ex, she is desiring a baby, and the two believe that they will live happily ever after--not likely. The two have left behind a trail of broken hearts, the older man and his menopausal wife. They act as if everything is okay with the world until an ex shows up with some bad news, a former lover just finds it hard to let go, and someone else is not going away without a fight in court.

There is a price to pay when one doesn’t take care of his or her issues within a relationship before stepping out on his wife or husband. A young woman can become pregnant by an older man, even with low T (testosterone) issues, and before long, that relationship becomes nothing more than another chapter in history. The menopausal wife may find that a fling here and there with a younger gentleman suitor just isn’t worth it, but then later learns she is carrying an incurable sexually transmitted disease.

Why couldn’t he have stuck it out with his wife before wrecking havoc on someone else? Why couldn’t his wife hang in there a little longer? The emotional roller coaster of a ride comes into play with younger partners when the older ones make promises that they know they can’t keep.

“I love you…I am over my wife…Don’t worry I will take care of you…my husband and I are getting a divorce…” The younger person should be thinking, “Well, if that happens great, but I’m not sticking around. I can find someone else with less baggage.”

One must be cautious of those who have been displaying irresponsible behaviors--acting more like a rebellious teen, rather than a grown up. When the low T lover desires to live a more active lifestyle even when mind and body is saying otherwise, look out! He may act like that today, but totally different tomorrow. Then there is his wife who acts like she is in love one minute and then hates men the next. Young people are caught in the middle of mayhem wondering, “What is up with these so-called mature adults?”

Not every person deemed “mature” really is. Not every older man is caring, nurturing, and able to provide a lifestyle of security. Not every older woman is patient, sweet, and wants sex all the time. Contrary to what many may have heard and read about “the older date,” there are many who have issues due to things like: bad eating, addictions, trauma, mental issues and chronic health ailments. These people do not turn out to be what a younger person might expect after much Internet reading, interviewing others on their experiences, and going out on several dates or more. Smiling photographs of older people dating younger don’t reveal the issues that many couples face due to age differences. Sure it sounds nice as long as the older partners are single, healthy, active, and mentally sound, but when things change, one must be prepared for all sorts of challenges.

Once the writing is on the wall, so to speak, don’t try to put your own spin on truth, see it for what it really is and ask yourself, “Do I really want to go on this journey with my low T lover or my moody menopausal partner?” Keep in mind, sooner or later, the ride will end either with the young person still seated in the passenger seat alone, kicked off the ride, or ready for another one with his or her mature partner.

Nicholl McGuire