When Young Women Love Older Men

There are older women in circles right now discussing why men in their age group go for younger women. They are usually angry, jealous, and bitter about the fact because they know that once they reach a certain age the pickings for men get a lot slimmer. That is why some older women will not move on or be content being alone. They will hold on to their unavailable ex, date a player, put up with a drunk, and use drugs with an addict or anything else just because they are so desperate to keep a man even when he doesn’t want them anymore. So when a younger woman comes along and the older man divorces his wife for her, cheats on his older girlfriend for her or does something else to be with her, some of these older women act like old fools! The younger woman isn’t to blame in most cases unless she deliberately went after an unavailable, happily married man. However, usually these older men are unhappily married, living separate from their wives, divorced, or dating other women but just haven’t found one to date exclusively yet. Whatever his issue, his wife’s issue or his ex’s issue, the point is the young woman has now fallen in love with him.

What does she feel when she is in love with her older man? What does her action or inaction in the relationship with him look like? Let’s answer these questions.

Since every woman is different it’s hard to provide specific details as to how she feels about him, but there are some basic things to look out for if you intend to make the relationship a happy one. Because she is younger, she doesn’t usually have as much life experience as you. Depending on her age, she may have just moved out of mommy and daddy’s home and is beginning to start a life of her own free of authority figures. So if you come along and try to tell her how to live her life like a parent, then she can very easily fall out of love with you and the idea of ever dating a man older and settle with someone closer to her age. However, if you act more like a friend and encourage her to live independently and enjoy her life, then she will eventually find her way to you because you are not stifling her from being the kind of woman she is destined to be.

Some younger women fall deeply in love with older men because her father didn’t show her the kind of love she wanted as a child. He may have been absent, physically abusive, or mentally unaware of her existence because he was too busy working. So here you are this wonderful, kind older gentleman with your arms open wide and she will not hesitate to jump in them and look to you to be a father that she never had. Now this isn’t always the case, some younger women had great relationships with their dad and wish to be with men who have similar attributes as their father. If their dad was hardworking, took great care of the family, honest, and church-going, then she may expect the same from you. This kind of thinking is not only with young women who date older men but any woman dating any man of any color, age, race, or creed.

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When she truly loves her older man she will want to do everything for him and be the kind of woman he adores. This concept is no different if she was with a man the same age or younger. A woman who is treated with respect, admired, loved, and appreciated will react just like a man who feels the same way. She will go out of her way to make him happy when she is in love. However, if she isn’t she will grow distant and will start to think of what she may have missed out on by not being with a man her own age. Her family if they notice that she is not happy in the relationship will encourage her to break up with the older man and find someone more age appropriate for her. That is why some older men try to keep the family out of her life because they want to be the only ones who have control over her. Unfortunately, their plan of control usually backfires and the young woman who was once blind begins to see and realizes that the older man is just not for her.

Younger women can be a blessing to older men especially when these men reach an age where they can no longer care for themselves. She will at that point in their lives not only be their lover but be a trusted caretaker as well. An older man tends to have the best of both worlds when dealing with a younger woman (that is why his friends will envy him), he can be free to relive his youth again and he knows that if she is in love with him she will see to it that he is taken care of for the rest of his life.

By Nicholl McGuire
Author of She's Crazy

How to Know You Are Not Ready to Date an Older Man

You like the idea of dating someone older, but are you really ready? Article provides tips to help you answer that question.

He approached you whether in person or over the Internet, you know how old this older man is and you think you might take him up on his offer to go out, but do you really know what to expect? You may know enough about him that turns you off, but there are a few things about him that turn you on more. Questions come to mind such as, “What if I don’t like him? What would my family and friends think if I date him?” This is why it is important to seriously think through whether you want to date an older man. Here are some signs to watch out for that will help you determine whether you are ready or not.

One. You can’t seem to look past his gray or thinning hair, sagging skin, age spots, or deep lines and wrinkles on his face and body.

Two. You complain often about his choice in television and radio shows and would prefer he get more involved with your world.

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Three. You find yourself wishing that he would change his wardrobe.

Four. You are often embarrassed being seen with him in public and can’t handle the dirty looks some people give you.

Five. When you communicate your thoughts or interests to him, you feel that he is more interested in having sex with you.

Six. You feel uncomfortable with the idea that his daughter or son is about your age and his ex-wife is about your mother’s age.

Seven. You enjoy his money more than his company.

Eight. You often struggle with trying “to fit in” with his family because of their age differences too.

Nine. When he asks, “Do you have a problem with our age difference, you find yourself lying.”

Ten. You can’t handle when he or his relatives make jokes about him being your “sugar daddy” and you being “a gold digger.” You are angry often and find yourself fantasizing about dating someone your own age.

Now that you have 10 tips to help you understand whether you sincerely want to date an older man, it’s time to put yourself to the test! If at any time you feel that a dating relationship with an older man isn’t right for you, be honest and tell him. He may not agree but at least he will respect you for your honesty.

By Nicholl McGuire
Dating & Relationship Advice

How to Take it Slow When Dating: 7 Dos of Getting to Know Your Mate

You met someone that you really admire and you tell your family and friends about him or her. They will most likely caution you “to take it slow.” What exactly does that mean anyway? You feel almost offended by their remark, because you know that you are going to let love run its course no matter how fast or slow. However, you know from past experiences that their advice isn’t wrong, so how do you take it slow when dating an older or younger someone who knocks you off your feet? The following are seven dating dos that will help you take it slow:

One. Do go to plenty of public places together.

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Oftentimes when age gap couples realize they really like being in each other’s presence, they abandon great opportunities to discover new things together outside of the bedroom. Then their relationship crashes and burns before it gets started. Remember to keep the relationship fresh by creating new things to do together.

Two. Do spend more time talking on the phone and using email during those early weeks of getting to know one another.

So many people miss signs that a person really isn’t their match, because they are often in a rush to get to the intimate stage of the relationship. Take this time to watch how they react when problems arise. Observe whether they keep their word about calling you on the phone or responding to your email.

Three. Do prepare questions to ask him or her prior to every meeting.

Have something to talk about every time you meet. Life is too short to allow opportunities to ask questions pass you by. You may be serious about getting married one day, having children, and buying a home. Why waste time by not asking what your potential mate wants out of life, what are the things that he or she values the most, and where does he or she see themselves in the future?

Four. Do participate in gift-giving.

Whether you are the one giving the gift or receiving the gift, expect or return the favor. When someone really likes you as much as they say they do, they will do whatever they can to make you happy and vice versa.

Five. Do date others until you are ready to commit.

You may not be completely sold on seeing this person so why prematurely commit to him or her. Allow yourself to get to know others until you are ready to settle down.

Six. Do explain to your new date that you are dating others.

Many May-December couples start off having problems because no one talks about the others that he or she may be seeing. Be honest about what you are doing. If you find that you have to lie or cover-up about these other relationships, then you may be ready to date this person exclusively. Find out how your date sincerely feels about you. If you both agree to date exclusively, cut the others off and update one another on your progress.

Seven. Do respect one another’s space and personal possessions.

When couples start getting serious about one another they falsely assume that they need to be around one another daily. They also think that they should share everything between one another because they are now a couple. However, it’s because of this kind of thinking that many couples go from being in love to falling out of love. Treasure your time apart and enjoy your things without feeling the need to have to share them all the time.

Now that you have seven dos to assist you with taking it slow while dating, read the article that discusses seven don’ts when taking it slow. These tips will help you get a better understanding of what it really means when people tell you to “take your time, take it slow, don’t rush…”

By Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

12 Signs a Young Woman is Being Played By a Dirty Old Man

What Some of Older Male Relatives May Not Have Told Young Women About Old Players

Your family and friends are concerned about your sudden interest in a man twice maybe even three times your age. They wonder what you see in him and secretly you wonder what he sees in you as well. You hope that this isn’t a fly by night romance for a man struggling with mid-life issues, but how do you know? There are 12 signs you may want to watch out for when relating to your older man. So put off the wedding plans in your head and the butterflies in your stomach for a moment while you read the following points.


One. He is adamant about no surprise visits at his home or work.

Now if he has nothing to hide why would he feel the need to tell you that?

Two. He will only see you on certain days of the week.

So there must be a schedule set to see one another?

Three. He often picks out places to entertain you that are far away from the city.

You may want to suggest places that are closer to the city then watch his reaction.

Four. He doesn’t share any information about his personal life such as mention conversations he may have had with family and friends.

He is often asking you questions about your day, but when you ask him questions about his day he is vague or unresponsive.

Five. He avoids spending holidays with you or comes by to see you very late in the day, during his lunch break, or early in the morning.

Once again, you should be questioning why?

Six. He is overly protective about his belongings especially his cell phone and computer.

Is it necessary to become angry if you just so happen to flip his phone back and look at the screen?

Seven. He often doesn’t stick to appointments with you because “something came up” which makes him late or causes him to cancel.

An occasional cancellation or an apology for being late is acceptable, but frequently – something is up?

Eight. He dresses nice on days when he is supposed to be casually dressed.

Did he tell you he had a meeting to go to prior to seeing you? He must have forgot to mention it or maybe he had another date before he came over to see you?

Nine. Whenever you try to change his routine or schedule suddenly, he is making up excuses.

Control freak or someone else is controlling his time.

Ten. He isn’t interested in meeting your family or friends and doesn’t offer to introduce you to any of his family or friends especially his parents.

He simply isn’t serious about you yet, give him some time.

Eleven. When you bring up marriage, children, or moving in together, he either smiles, avoids the issue, or jokes about it. Meanwhile, he is telling his friends, “Never again will I get married.”

If you want marriage and he doesn’t, what makes you think that you can change him?

Twelve. People in his neighborhood, especially women, look at you or him negatively and talk about all the women who come in and out of his home. They may even mention in so many words how they use to date him and make negative comments about him.

Women can’t keep a good secret, they will expose a bad person or bad behavior, and if she is a women scorned then she will let the cat out of the bag. Listen to what she is telling you in a round-about way—she is warning you.

If you have noticed all of these signs working together throughout the relationship then you are being played. Many young women overlook these signs because they don’t want to believe that their older men is betraying them, because they assume that because they look or act a certain way they can’t be played. Yet, if you were quick to give him your heart, plan your days around him, and believe every little thing that comes out of his mouth without paying attention to his actions, then you are subjecting yourself to his game. As the saying goes, don’t hate the player, hate the game.

By Nicholl McGuire