Midlife Crisis, Depressed and Anxious, Do Something About It

Often portrayed in only humorous terms in popular culture, male midlife crisis has very real physical causes. Beginning around age 30, testosterone gradually decreases, and can lead to depression, decreased sex drive or erectile dysfunction. In addition, a corresponding increase in SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) impairs the body's ability to use testosterone.

As well, as men enter midlife, they sleep more lightly, spending less time in a state of deep sleep. This can lead to weight gain, fatigue and irritability because the body is unable to make enough of the hormones required for energy and optimal functioning.

Doing Something About Male Midlife Crisis

There are several steps you can take to improve your overall feeling of well-being and reduce the likelihood of related worries such as sexual dysfunction.

Managing stress will help you sleep easier, as well as reduce symptoms like irritability and fatigue. A daily B-complex vitamin can reduce stress, and minerals like selenium and chromium can boost energy.

Getting plenty of exercise not only has the obvious physical benefits, but it also encourages the quality deep sleep that is important for men undergoing the physical changes of midlife. You should also avoid stimulants like coffee several hours before bed.

Testosterone replacement therapy may also be an appropriate solution that helps mitigate the effects of male midlife.

How Is Testosterone Involved with Male Midlife Crisis?

A consistent finding in the scientific literature is that testosterone increase even by replacement therapy produces an increased feeling of well-being. Published studies show that low levels of free testosterone correlates with symptoms of depression and other psychological disorders.

According to Jonathan Wright, M.D., co-author of Maximize Your Vitality & Potency, the following effects have been reported in response to low free testosterone levels:

• Loss of ability to concentrate
• Moodiness and emotionality
• Touchiness and irritability
• Great timidity
• Feeling weak
• Inner unrest
• Memory failure
• Reduced intellectual agility
• Passive attitudes
• General tiredness
• Reduced interest in surroundings

Two major issues of a man in midlife crisis - depression and anxiety - are directly related to his current levels of bio-available free testosterone. Proper testosterone replacement therapy can deal effectively with much at the heart of midlife male depression by boosting the levels of bio-available testosterone in the body.

Is Testosterone Replacement Therapy Right for Me?

The first step toward testosterone replacement therapy is a physical exam and a series of blood tests, including a PSA (protein-specific antigen) test, are ordered to measure testosterone levels. If testosterone levels are low, your physician can discuss the various treatment options. Many insurance companies cover the costs of andropause treatment, and male menopause treatment can often be purchased with a tax advantaged, flexible savings account.

Male hormone replacement therapy and testosterone replacement are effective, low testosterone treatment options for men with andropause. If you have any symptoms associated with andropause, such as low energy, irritability, hot flashes, abdominal weight gain, loss of muscle strength, loss of sex drive and the inability to maintain an erection, talk to your doctor. The sooner you speak with a physician and get checked for low testosterone levels, the sooner you can begin feeling like yourself again.

What to look for in a Male Hormone Replacement Therapy Provider:

1. Look for a male hormone replacement therapy program that is tailored to your specific and individualized needs.
2. Ensure your hormone program is under the supervision of a physician that is trained in hormone deficiencies in men.
3. Monitoring of your hormone levels. The original test for andropause should only be the first in a series of tests. You will want to have your blood tested periodically to ensure the current program is optimized for your individual needs.
4. Experience. Be sure the entity with whom you work has a solid track record. If they are trying to sell you hormones -- be careful. If they are telling you what they do and how it relates to you needs in an informational frame work -- be hopeful and encouraged.

Jim Michels is an expert on how to treat low testosterone and andropause symptoms. His company renewman.com focuses on male menopause and andropause and specializes in treating male menopause symptoms through male hormone replacement therapy, testosterone replacement and low testosterone treatment

She's Mature for 21...

"She's mature for 21..." That's what they all say, but in all actuality there are many differences that are not so "mature." Here are a few to keep your eyes wide open when you are dating someone 25 years and less.

1. The first argument.

You know you are dealing with an immature woman when she can't explain herself without crying, fighting and or threatening to hurt you in some way.

2. Money.

You always have to foot the bill whenever you go out while she is always saying, "I need..." She still has alot of growing up to do in the financial department, so if you aren't willing to carry or teach her then leave her alone.

3. Health ailments.

Whether you or she is having issues mentally and/or physically, remember she is young and has a lot of life that has yet to be untapped she may grow weary of caring for you (unless of course there are benefits.) On the other hand, you may not have a lot of life to care for someone if she is the ill one. So choose what you are willing to put up with before things get too deep between the two of you and then you or she wants to bail out when things turn for the worse.

4. Children.

She may not have any and you may have a few. What's the likelihood she will want children someday? Think: when you were in your early twenties you said many things you didn't want, but ended up having everything you didn't want. If you know for certain no more children for you, then protect yourself and don't trust that she will always remember to take her pill.

5. Exs.

Does she act different toward you when you have to pick up your children from their mother's home? Does she seem like she is annoyed when you talk about exs? Do you still remain friends with exs even though she has asked you not to? These are all real issues that cause long-term problems if you don't handle them from the start of the relationship. Be open about your relationship or lack thereof with exs when dealing with a younger woman.

6. Common sense.

Common sense unfortunately isn't too common even among the best of us, so with that said, never assume a younger woman who doesn't have as much experience in emotional/physical relationships as you will understand your needs and how to treat you.

7. Street smarts.

It is very easy to take advantage of a niave young woman who has been sheltered most of her life. If you consider yourself a "good man" do her and her family a favor, don't play games! You don't want to shake hands with her father knowing full well you aren't interested in being committed to his beloved daughter. You don't want to win mom over if you know you are having trouble shaking off the exs, balancing a checkbook, or keeping your apartment tidy. Meet the parents when you know you have your self together! One thing parents can see a mile away is a man who is street smart and they will advise their daughter against dating "the old player" especially if dad, uncles, and other men in the family have and are still playing around themselves.

In closing, remember don't play and you won't get played. These young women nowadays don't really need a man like previous generations; however, there are always those who will pretend like they do.

Nicholl McGuire

The Unavailable Man

“What goes around comes around,” so the old saying goes. During my twenties, single and childless days in the 90s, I was approached by many family men. They thought they had it going on with their young wardrobe and lingo. They wanted to show me, who at the time was a hip woman back in the day, what they knew about my generation. I wasn’t necessarily turned on by the gray hair, the age mark here and there, and what I would call the “old man” odor, but I was turned on by their success. I wanted to learn a thing or two from these men, but I definitely didn’t want to be responsible for breaking up anyone’s happy home. These married men were slick back then and so I hear, the game hasn’t changed much. Taking off their rings, silencing their pagers and offering to take me to places far away from the city these were just a few things I experienced with older married men, I was still young so I had yet to learn the game.

When I did catch on, I used the knowledge I had learned and put one married man to the test. This slickster used his sister to call me, because he was busy with his wife. I didn’t know he was married until that phone call. I told her about herself and him and warned her to tell him never to call me again. Had I pursued a relationship with this attractive guy who had a great salary to go along with him, I would have been considered a home-wrecker. One battle was won, but there were more tests that I would face as I got older. I admit I had my share of wins, but I also had some situations that were too close for comfort and as I said earlier, “What goes around comes around.” Later, I would be cheated on by someone I once loved.

Flirting is harmful. Talking to a married man on the phone periodically about things non-related to business is not okay. Sitting down in a restaurant after work hours discussing everything but business is playing with fire. I honestly believe that some single women need to associate their struggles with relationships now with what they did in their heyday. Think: Did you go out with married men? Did you have an intimate relationship with these men? Back then you may have thought that your youth will stay with you, now some of you reading this are older and don’t feel or look as attractive, but are still attracting older men. Some have become a little absent-minded about the past and never talked to God about it or asked for his forgiveness. I know some people don’t believe in curses, but I think some of us have put curses on our own lives by what we say and do.

We may tell someone how we are such a great person and we could never do wrong, but behind closed doors we are calling ourselves an idiot and saying why we will never have a good relationship or never have children. Reverse the curse, my sister! You could be blessed if you were willing to say and do the deeds that would make you feel good about yourself, rather than do things that hurt you and others. Is it really that important to you to keep an unavailable man in your life? Do you really think that what he promises you will be achieved? Will you be content with what you have to do to keep his gifts coming? Nothing in life comes for free there is always a give and take relationship somewhere. What are you willing to risk to get what you want?

I know of women as I type who have sold their souls to the devil. They will do just about anything to get ahead. They love the fact that they don’t have children because it’s just one less obstacle they have to jump over to achieve fame and fortune. While they are fighting for a place, position, and/or power, they are teaching young girls to do exactly the same things they are doing to get ahead. Their actions say, “Sleep with the boss. Shake your behind and the money will come. Tell this man everything he wants to hear. Keep your mouth shut with this one and you will have favor with him even if he is wrong. Go with this man and he will take care of you. Smile this way, dress that way, talk this way…Change your hair color, straighten your curly hair…” You name it, whatever the magazine, television, agent, doctor, even their mother says to make them look and feel sexy and desired by the public, they will do it all the while getting hurt in the end. At some point someone is going to see Jezebel’s (an evil woman in the Christian Bible) flaws and expose them to the world and there she is at home sitting on the floor crying, depressed, wondering why her life has become such a mess. When you keep feeding the world garbage they are going to want more and more and more until you are spent! Eventually they will be taking the garbage out and dumping it into a grave until they can find "the next best…" You fill in the blank.

I have witnessed unavailable men seek after available women like pimps looking for hoes, because it’s an ego boost for them. They can spot a desperate woman a mile away and they work out their plan before she even looks their way. He knows that if he says all the right things and she behaves herself, he can have his way with her. But when she doesn’t, depending on how rich and powerful he is, he may drop her, take what he gave her back (or in some cases he may get a gift or two like a disease) or worse attempt to kill her. A woman who acts like trash gets treated like trash. If the woman is a mother, she may be spared the games, because she has innocent children that don't need to be caught up in drama, but a child-free slut doesn’t stand a chance. She can’t excuse her disgraceful actions with, “I did it for my kids.” What kids? “I did it because of love.” What relationship? “I did it because I wanted to get ahead.” Really, then the public will label you as a hoe or a selfish b*tch, take your pick. Meanwhile thinking, "What else will this slut do for the mighty dollar?" There she is the single, relationship and child-free woman being escorted to someone’s basement, office, car, garage, woods, ready to be sacrificed like an animal. If she does what she is told, she gets what she is asking for, but most likely her master, I mean old man, is going to tell his friends about her. If she doesn’t do what they ask of her then she will be hurt emotionally and/or physically. But if she is a good little hoe, she just might get some more bills paid.

Nicholl McGuire, author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

What to Do When a Man is Withdrawn & Emotionally Cold! This is Ultra Important For You

Many men are emotionally unavailable. They have a lot of excuses just to get away from creating any emotional intimacy with a woman. This is really sad especially if his partner feels the other way around. So here are some things women can do if his partner is emotionally unavailable.

First is to check your own behavior. Maybe you are just too busy concentrating on all his negative attributes that you missed out your own actions. Maybe, it was you who has the real problem and he is just acting out to make you realize it.

Next is to give him space. Maybe he can no longer breathe because you are already suffocating him with your presence. Give him some time to go out and have fun with his friends. Do not call or send him any messages when he is out enjoying a day without you.

Third, do not try to control him. Men hate it when their girl is too possessive or bossy. Let him have a voice in your relationship.

Fourth, do not try to change him because it can only make matters worse. Instead try to act like you support him, but gradually instill to him what needs to be changed. They hate it when women tell their flaws, let them change on his own.

Fifth is to let them see how good it feels when someone is emotionally available. Never think of revenge and make him feel what he has done to you. Instead show him how to be emotionally stable, let him see the good in it.

Sixth, is to expose him to couples or people who have a very strong bond to each other. Let him see how happy they are just by being in love and emotionally available. This will make him think about it and sooner or later apply it on your relationship.

Lastly, do not give up on him too easily. Give him a chance, maybe in time he will see the beauty of a serious relationship and would be ready to try it out. Maybe time is all he needs to finally take your relationship to the next level. Patience is a virtue, and sometimes a better life awaits those who are patient enough.

When a man is emotionally unavailable it is best to find out what made him act like that. This way you will understand him better and would know how to deal with him.

By Russell Jackson

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