What are our views on dating someone who is about ten and more years older than us? Is it an issue we focus on? Is age the issue or do we look at the mechanics of the man involved?
In my philosophy of thinking, age is just a number. It doesn’t attach itself to any man thing, or importance. There are mature men at fifty, and there are immature men at sixty. Where does that leave us?
I dated a man who was eleven years older than me, and it was great for the moment. The man had wisdom all over the place. It got to a point that he was taking his wisdom and running all over the place with it, and driving me to drink. I was truly in need of a Matai and then some.
The fact that he was so much older than me he thought he had the key to the world and then some. He treated me like I was his daughter, and he was my father. We also have to realize that a man who is ten years older than someone is under the assumption that he’s the king of the castle, and you will worship the ground he spit on. I think not!
My man was living in the 21st century, but he was still hibernating in the prehistoric days where the dinosaurs ruled the world and then some. He had this concept that men were still the chief at arms, and when I say do something, or don’t do something, you obey, follow, and give me the respect I deserve and then some. I knew at this precise moment that my man was going to be my eliminated man.
Now don’t get me wrong because my man had some perks which attracted me to him, but the issues of being the dominant factor in the relationship bordered on the ridiculous and then some.
1. No one told me what to do because I was truly a grown woman.
2. There were no masters and kings in this day and age.
3. The man and woman are on equal levels.
4. Respect is given and received.
5. You are not my father, and I am not your mother.
An older man is stuck in his ways and this is an understatement thank you very much. He was built with these factors, and no amount of loving, good sex, convincing and persuading will change his mind. It was going to be his way, and if you think that you can change a man, then forget about it. No amount of anything would change his mind. If you gave him one million dollars, you still wouldn’t be able to float his boat around to your thinking. It was truly out of the question.
My concept on older men is that they are wiser in the ways of the world, but they have their faults just like men my age, and younger men. Older men are more established in their employment, and money. My man had just retired from the CTA, so he was bent on doing some of the things he loved doing, but couldn’t do because he was working. Of course my retired man got exhausted, and he ended up going back to work on a part-time basis.
So would you date an older man? I think it depends on the man and not the age of the man. It also depends on the level of your competence in this relationship.
1. Are you willing to handle an older man and his faults?
2. Are you okay with his domination?
3. Are you contented with him treating you like a child, or his daughter?
4. Can you live with his prehistoric ways?
5. Is he sweet, loving, and kind, and you can over look his faults?
6. Do you love him?
7. Does he love you?
8. Is the relationship going anywhere?
9. Is marriage down the line?
10. Does he treat you like a queen?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, or all of them, then your older man is worth it and then some. Forget about his mindless ways, and celebrate the loving he brings to your relationship. Remember age is only a number, and what do we really care about numbers? Sisters we want the love of a good man, and older men bring it on. I think I can handle you.
By Carol Ann Culbert Johnson
I am 43 years old, and my passion is writing. I love it. Please check out my website at http://www.freewebs.com/jcarolann and enjoy the ride
Saturday
Tips For Dating Older Men - Issues That Can Harm Your Relationship
Are you in a relationship with someone older than yourself or contemplating starting one? If you are, then there are some tips for dating older men that you should keep in mind. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to older guys, but there are some issues that you should be aware of so that they don't affect your relationship.
If you're sensitive to criticism or negative remarks from others, then developing a thick skin is one of the best tips for dating older men. Your friends and family might not be thrilled with your choice. They might try to talk you out of continuing the relationship or persuade you not to pursue one in the first place. They can give you all the well-meaning advice they want, but ultimately, this is your life and your decision to make. Don't let these comments get to you or interfere with your relationship. Have confidence in yourself and the choices you make, so that you can enjoy your life.
If your older man has children, this could present an awkward situation for you. If his children are close to your age, they might not appreciate your presence or they might feel threatened by it. Since you're all adults, you should be able to talk these things through in a mature manner. You shouldn't have to put up with any rudeness on their part. Be open to discussion in order to clear the air. Letting hostility or resentment build up can cause some serious damage to your relationship. You don't want your man to feel that he has to choose between you or his children.
Among all the helpful tips for dating older men that you'll find, learning how to compromise is one of the most effective for maintaining a strong relationship. Although you might share a lot in common, be prepared to make some serious changes to your lifestyle when it comes to how you spend time together. He might not have the energy to keep up with a hectic dating schedule, and you might find yourself feeling bored with some of the places he takes you to. This is where compromise comes in handy. You can take turns figuring out when and where you would like to spend time together so that you can both enjoy each other's company without getting frustrated.
There are several other tips for dating older men or to attracting them in the first place, that will also help you enjoy a strong, healthy relationship. Being aware of these is essential in order to avoid problems that could arise. Remember that this is your life and you have the right to make your own decisions, but also remember that there are certain issues associated with the choices you make that could interfere with your happiness.
Need some more advice on maintaining a healthy relationship? These tips for dating older men or attracting them in the first place are important to know so that you can both be happy and stay that way for a long time! http://www.relationshipguide.org/howtoattractmen
By Anna M Jones
If you're sensitive to criticism or negative remarks from others, then developing a thick skin is one of the best tips for dating older men. Your friends and family might not be thrilled with your choice. They might try to talk you out of continuing the relationship or persuade you not to pursue one in the first place. They can give you all the well-meaning advice they want, but ultimately, this is your life and your decision to make. Don't let these comments get to you or interfere with your relationship. Have confidence in yourself and the choices you make, so that you can enjoy your life.
If your older man has children, this could present an awkward situation for you. If his children are close to your age, they might not appreciate your presence or they might feel threatened by it. Since you're all adults, you should be able to talk these things through in a mature manner. You shouldn't have to put up with any rudeness on their part. Be open to discussion in order to clear the air. Letting hostility or resentment build up can cause some serious damage to your relationship. You don't want your man to feel that he has to choose between you or his children.
Among all the helpful tips for dating older men that you'll find, learning how to compromise is one of the most effective for maintaining a strong relationship. Although you might share a lot in common, be prepared to make some serious changes to your lifestyle when it comes to how you spend time together. He might not have the energy to keep up with a hectic dating schedule, and you might find yourself feeling bored with some of the places he takes you to. This is where compromise comes in handy. You can take turns figuring out when and where you would like to spend time together so that you can both enjoy each other's company without getting frustrated.
There are several other tips for dating older men or to attracting them in the first place, that will also help you enjoy a strong, healthy relationship. Being aware of these is essential in order to avoid problems that could arise. Remember that this is your life and you have the right to make your own decisions, but also remember that there are certain issues associated with the choices you make that could interfere with your happiness.
Need some more advice on maintaining a healthy relationship? These tips for dating older men or attracting them in the first place are important to know so that you can both be happy and stay that way for a long time! http://www.relationshipguide.org/howtoattractmen
By Anna M Jones
Monday
Be Patient: You'll Find Him or He'll Find You
When I started dating older men back in my twenties, I had no idea what to expect. I was unaware of the male midlife crisis. I knew nothing about andropause. These were all hormonal related issues that men went through and I didn't know that I could possibly be a product of their mid-life crisis.
Anyway, I wondered what to expect dating men with thinning hair, grey hair sprouting from here there and everywhere. It was an adjustment every time I dated an older man. Like men, I too am a very visual creature and I had to put aside my personal hang-ups and see the man for who he really was -- a human being, period.
The mature men I met were really no different than the younger men except that they were more stable in their finances, moved a little slower, seemed to hold an intelligent conversation, and really seemed to be into me. I didn't have to worry too much about the wandering eye and the short attention span of a younger beau.
As I learned more and more about these older men, at times I was impressed with their knowledge and other times I felt that I acted more mature than they. I met my share of irresponsible older men, the kind who acted like they had it together, but in reality they didn't. The older women had pushed them out of their lives and now they were desperately seeking anyone who would put up with them. Those men were such a disappointment. I would think, "You decided to reach 40 plus years and act like a fool! You still have nothing to show for your life." In time, I learned more about the mid-life crisis that older men faced and it wasn't any wonder that some was looking for anyone and anything to make them happy.
So what do I want young women to know about older men? Well I say plenty on this blog, but for now one thing you need to know is to be patient.
That's right be patient in any and everything you do when involving yourself with a mature man. If you don't have much dating experience, you will find that he can easily do things to make you feel like he is the best thing since slice bread; however, one day in the midst of feeling in love, his emotions can come crashing down, leaving you feeling broken and depressed asking, "What happened? I thought he loved me!" Some of these men are only in love with the idea of being with a young woman, but not committing to her for a lifetime. Besides if you are a beautiful, energetic woman who clearly has a life and he is the total opposite, he knows that eventually you will meet someone better than him, so he will attempt to end the relationship especially if you aren't acting that interested in him.
Know what you are getting yourself into when seeking out a man half your age or more. He is coming with years of experience and baggage. You may admire his intellect at first, but later it may grow on your nerves because he knows so much more than you. There are times that you might question whether you are with this man because you have some kind of daddy hangups. Maybe daddy wasn't in your life, he didn't seem to care about you, he didn't love you and so fourth. If this is you and you look to your older man to fulfill the role of your dad, then you are headed for trouble! No man can or will replace the love of dad, no man!
When you are ready to take your relationship with an older man to the next level, do heed the advice of the women and men around you. Chances are they all grew up around the same time. So they have a pretty good idea what his mentality may be like particularly if he had a dad in his life. As the old adage goes, "It takes one to know one." The men "back in the day" are much different than the men of today. Women were not as independent as they are nowadays. A man who saw his dad and mother interact from yesteryear, may expect you to be the docile, submissive wife. If you know you couldn't ever be docile or submissive then pick a man your own age or one who can accept you for who you are.
Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/nichollmcguire
Anyway, I wondered what to expect dating men with thinning hair, grey hair sprouting from here there and everywhere. It was an adjustment every time I dated an older man. Like men, I too am a very visual creature and I had to put aside my personal hang-ups and see the man for who he really was -- a human being, period.
The mature men I met were really no different than the younger men except that they were more stable in their finances, moved a little slower, seemed to hold an intelligent conversation, and really seemed to be into me. I didn't have to worry too much about the wandering eye and the short attention span of a younger beau.
As I learned more and more about these older men, at times I was impressed with their knowledge and other times I felt that I acted more mature than they. I met my share of irresponsible older men, the kind who acted like they had it together, but in reality they didn't. The older women had pushed them out of their lives and now they were desperately seeking anyone who would put up with them. Those men were such a disappointment. I would think, "You decided to reach 40 plus years and act like a fool! You still have nothing to show for your life." In time, I learned more about the mid-life crisis that older men faced and it wasn't any wonder that some was looking for anyone and anything to make them happy.
So what do I want young women to know about older men? Well I say plenty on this blog, but for now one thing you need to know is to be patient.
That's right be patient in any and everything you do when involving yourself with a mature man. If you don't have much dating experience, you will find that he can easily do things to make you feel like he is the best thing since slice bread; however, one day in the midst of feeling in love, his emotions can come crashing down, leaving you feeling broken and depressed asking, "What happened? I thought he loved me!" Some of these men are only in love with the idea of being with a young woman, but not committing to her for a lifetime. Besides if you are a beautiful, energetic woman who clearly has a life and he is the total opposite, he knows that eventually you will meet someone better than him, so he will attempt to end the relationship especially if you aren't acting that interested in him.
Know what you are getting yourself into when seeking out a man half your age or more. He is coming with years of experience and baggage. You may admire his intellect at first, but later it may grow on your nerves because he knows so much more than you. There are times that you might question whether you are with this man because you have some kind of daddy hangups. Maybe daddy wasn't in your life, he didn't seem to care about you, he didn't love you and so fourth. If this is you and you look to your older man to fulfill the role of your dad, then you are headed for trouble! No man can or will replace the love of dad, no man!
When you are ready to take your relationship with an older man to the next level, do heed the advice of the women and men around you. Chances are they all grew up around the same time. So they have a pretty good idea what his mentality may be like particularly if he had a dad in his life. As the old adage goes, "It takes one to know one." The men "back in the day" are much different than the men of today. Women were not as independent as they are nowadays. A man who saw his dad and mother interact from yesteryear, may expect you to be the docile, submissive wife. If you know you couldn't ever be docile or submissive then pick a man your own age or one who can accept you for who you are.
Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/nichollmcguire
Thursday
Stop Being Shy - Quick and Easy Tips
In the current atmosphere around us, most of the people have very healthy amounts of boldness and any person, who is even the least bit shy, loses on many things in life. If you too wish to stop being shy and be able to live the life the way it is meant to be, some conscious effort is required on your behalf. The biggest step was agreeing to the fact that you after all are really shy and seeking for ways online to help you with your condition. Now comes the easy part. All you need do is follow some very simple suggestions to finally bring your life on the right track.
Being myself very shy right up to three months ago, I know how it feels when in company, especially when in front of a person of opposite sex, my tongue used to literally wrap round itself. Then I learned to take advantage of my condition rather than be affected adversely by it. With a few simple suggestions made to me by a successful friend, I was able to overcome my lack in confidence.
The first thing you should do is to speak up. Usually people are unable to speak up in front of other people because nothing really comes up in their mind. Prior decision would be recommended for you in such cases. Practice some common conversations beforehand along with some hot topics.
Telling others about your weakness may also help immensely, not only do people treat shy people specially but also try help them out in other ways like recommending them to some other people.
Who knows that someone you are being recommended to is also shy? But you would still be better off because of your prior practice is some hot topics, something which was recommended earlier.
The last and most effective resort is also the most obvious, have a glass or too of some wine. It helps a lot in loosening up of shy tongues. So just follow these suggestions and you will be able to reintegrate yourself in life.
Get more help to stop being shy with these overcoming shyness tips. http://helpanswer.com/tips-for-overcoming-shyness
Being myself very shy right up to three months ago, I know how it feels when in company, especially when in front of a person of opposite sex, my tongue used to literally wrap round itself. Then I learned to take advantage of my condition rather than be affected adversely by it. With a few simple suggestions made to me by a successful friend, I was able to overcome my lack in confidence.
The first thing you should do is to speak up. Usually people are unable to speak up in front of other people because nothing really comes up in their mind. Prior decision would be recommended for you in such cases. Practice some common conversations beforehand along with some hot topics.
Telling others about your weakness may also help immensely, not only do people treat shy people specially but also try help them out in other ways like recommending them to some other people.
Who knows that someone you are being recommended to is also shy? But you would still be better off because of your prior practice is some hot topics, something which was recommended earlier.
The last and most effective resort is also the most obvious, have a glass or too of some wine. It helps a lot in loosening up of shy tongues. So just follow these suggestions and you will be able to reintegrate yourself in life.
Get more help to stop being shy with these overcoming shyness tips. http://helpanswer.com/tips-for-overcoming-shyness
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