Tuesday

No Support for Underage Sex, Dating Minors

I understand that some men and women enjoy dating older and younger.  But how young are we talking?  There are laws in the land for good reason.  I know that some men and women have their attractions, preferences to certain age groups.  I for one had mine, older men.  For some older men, they absolutely love dating younger women in their twenties.  I was once in my twenties and dated my share of men in their 40s and one in his fifties.  However, I don't support dating/abusing/messing with children, seriously.  They are still developing mentally and physically, they have their lives ahead of them so why spoil them?  Yet, selfish predators will do just that!  Most likely they were spoiled by someone or a group who abused them and now here they go repeating the cycle.  Children don't deserve that no matter how much they think they are mature enough to handle someone older!

When I didn't have children I stayed away from topics like this because my thought was, "It's not my business."  But that was incorrect thinking, it is your business--it's everyone's business!  That is someone's child.  A child who can learn much about life in positive and productive ways that foster independence, raise self-esteem, teach them to be good spouses and parents without trading their innocence!  This is why there are functional caretakers, authorities and licensed professionals available who aren't the least bit interested in taking advantage of them sexually.  Yet, we live in a world of predators who could care less about anyone but their selfish needs being met no matter how dark, disturbing, or demented they might be!  For some sexual predators, as long as it isn't their child being abused, they don't care!  These same people will talk up a storm about what they wouldn't allow to happen to their mothers, sisters, aunts, nieces, etc.  But that victim, who is being used and/or abused, is someone's relative, friend, co-worker...!

As much as some men and women attempt to justify their dysfunctional relationships, those of us who know better just aren't buying it!  A young, brainwashed woman, who managed to get free from her abusive handler/lover, shared her experience--at the time she met him she was underage.  She wrote about it anonymously and spoke about her ordeal on television.  Some of you might be familiar with American R&B singer and songwriter R. Kelly.  She claims he allegedly abused her as well as many other women.  You can check her work out for yourself here.  If the 90 plus page book is taken down, look for it under this title, Sex Me Confessions of Daddy's Little Freak.  Funny, when I was about 19 years old, I looked at that CD by Aaliyah, "Age ain't nothing but a number" and in the background stood R. Kelly.  He looked suspect back then and I turned to my boyfriend and said something like, "Look at this title, he probably is with her."  Yep, he was.  Aaliyah was 15 years old when rumors surfaced about her and R. Kelly. 

It's unfortunate that I have to include a blog post such as this, but it is very necessary since some people just don't understand that age is more than a number when you are dealing with children not only are you destroying a child, but your life too when a person or group finds out, is it worth it?

Nicholl McGuire


Wednesday

You Can't Help Who You Fall in Love With...

You might not be able to help who you fall in love with, but you can exercise self-control through the process. Too many people claim to be in love, but are they really?  It looks more like falling head over heals in lust with others before they truly experience real love. 

You know that your "love" for someone isn't real when you are easily offended over the things they say or do no matter how harmless and you find it hard to forgive.  You know that you aren't in love when you are more concerned about one's appearance and less focused on how they respond to you.  You know that you are still getting over your past when you find that your emotions are not aligning with the person you are currently with no matter how much you convince yourself you love him or her.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash
Love is active, peaceful, freeing, hopeful, caring, and considerate.  But what love isn't is unkind, rude, arrogant, and selfish.  You may love someone and he or she might be significantly older or younger.  Check whether you sincerely believe that what you are feeling for this person is indeed love.  Here's how...

1) When your partner is around, your thoughts are not often negative, but positive--you aim to please!

2)  You think twice about talking rudely to your partner like saying mean things about him or her whether in-person or behind his or her back.

3)  You often think of a future with your fellow or gal and you just can't see yourself living without him or her.

4)  You are determined to make your relationship work no matter how difficult it gets.  However, you have far more positive days then negative ones.

5) Any form of abuse is absent from your relationship.  You wouldn't even think of insulting or assaulting your loved one.

6)  You don't hesitate to help that special someone when called upon or even when there is no request.  You are conscience of your partner's needs. "Thoughtful and considerate..." are words that your partner uses to describe you.

7)  You don't mind proclaiming to the world that this person is your mate.  You will defend him or her no matter what!

Whether black, brown, yellow or white, you just don't care about what others think.  You love your friend and that is all that matters!

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