Monday

Feel Left Out? Age Gap Relationships Can be Lonely

He doesn't want to bring you around his relatives or peers because he is uncomfortable with the age difference despite his saying he is okay with it.  She doesn't want you attending a family event because males in her family don't approve of you being much older.

So what do age gap couples end up doing when family and friends make them feel uncomfortable at events?  They stay home.  They say,  "Who cares?  We don't need them...We love one another."  But deep down inside maybe the young woman really wanted to be with her family and maybe the older gentleman desired to spend time with kinfolk.

We don't often hear about the challenges of dating older or younger because the people who are celebrating their new love interests are still quite blinded by sex and beauty.  But when tough times show up, they keep their business to themselves.

There is a loneliness that some couples feel when so many family members don't necessarily like their choice in a partner whether old or young.  The feeling of being casted out or not liked because of one's actions is not a good feeling especially when you are use to being the favorite in a family.

Age gap relationships can be difficult and lonely at times depending on who you might have connected to like: the selfish, stubborn, angry, controlling or rude types.  The frustrations that might arise because one didn't bother to think too deeply about how a partner might feel about relationship concerns can come spilling out between the pair in unusual ways such as: frequent disputes about meaningless things, silent treatment, pouting, passive aggressive behaviors, etc.  The fact is that people tend to be more comfortable around folks who are about the same age or a little younger or older.  They share many common interests and at times find other things that are attractive about one another.

Watch out for signs that you feel lonely in a May-December romance.  Reach out for support.  Don't fake interest when there is no longer any in a partner.  Make time to think about whether you still want to be in this kind of relationship.  Forgive yourself if it doesn't work out and allow yourself some time to reconnect with you before starting another relationship.

Nicholl McGuire

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