A age gap dating advice blog that provides valuable tips when dating older men and younger women. Thought-provoking relationship tips for older men seeking to date younger women. Please be advised to seek a professional for serious issues. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling. This blog is not for people under the age of 18.
Wednesday
67-Year-Old Actor Steve Martin Welcomes His First Baby
If you thought you were too old to be a dad, think again. FYI Steve's wife is 41. Read article here.
Tuesday
Thursday
They Will Call You Ugly, Old and What Do You Want with My Daughter
Be prepared for the backlash, mature gentleman, if you want to date younger! There are some angry moms and dads who don't want their daughters dating in their words, "an old, ugly no-good man..." and whatever else they choose to call you either behind your back or to your face.
So what's with all the anger? You might think, as they look at you like one who has committed a crime. "She is old enough for me to date," you think.
Most likely, their beloved daughter has shared something about you that made them label you as "One to Watch." Your type may have been seen before or maybe they know how their daughter can be--whatever that means to them, so they don't really agree with you being in her life.
If you don't want a negative report getting back to your mate's friends or folks, then don't do anything that will make them want to call the police, show up on your doorstep, or forbid their daughter to never set eyes on you again. Shall we go down the list of things not to do?
1. Physically fight her.
2. Try to keep her in a room against her will.
3. Lie about a wife, a job, your past, etc.
4. Deny that you know someone in her family.
5. Act as if you are better than members of her family (even if it is true), don't act arrogant and then tell her about what you are thinking.
6. Play head games with her in an attempt to make her be what you want her to be. The family will be watching to see if she changes the way she looks for you, drops out of school, stops being around them, has no life of her own, etc.
Older men who find themselves in hot water with the family are those who think that they have a toy to play with, rather than a fellow human being who wants to be loved and treated with some respect. A controlling man, who likes to play mind games, will stop at nothing to get a young woman to fall in love with him. This is so that she will be loyal and take whatever he is dishing out. If he has a fetish, she will fulfill it. If he wants her to do some things that he could never get his wife to do, she will do it. If he desires a trophy and nothing more, then she will be it. Of course, none of which she does for him comes without a requested token or reward. You know, "I like those shoes, could you get them...? Do you think you can help me pay my student loan bill...?"
Why bother to seek out any woman, young or old, rich or poor, smart or dumb, to be nothing more than an object to meet one's selfish needs? A wise man who desires love is going to build a foundation and a reputation that says, "I am not an old fool. I seek a committed relationship. I want what is best for your daughter. I intend to respect her and I want her to do the same."
Now that, my friend, is a real man!
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and others including Things to Do When Bored and Work Place Problems
So what's with all the anger? You might think, as they look at you like one who has committed a crime. "She is old enough for me to date," you think.
Most likely, their beloved daughter has shared something about you that made them label you as "One to Watch." Your type may have been seen before or maybe they know how their daughter can be--whatever that means to them, so they don't really agree with you being in her life.
If you don't want a negative report getting back to your mate's friends or folks, then don't do anything that will make them want to call the police, show up on your doorstep, or forbid their daughter to never set eyes on you again. Shall we go down the list of things not to do?
1. Physically fight her.
2. Try to keep her in a room against her will.
3. Lie about a wife, a job, your past, etc.
4. Deny that you know someone in her family.
5. Act as if you are better than members of her family (even if it is true), don't act arrogant and then tell her about what you are thinking.
6. Play head games with her in an attempt to make her be what you want her to be. The family will be watching to see if she changes the way she looks for you, drops out of school, stops being around them, has no life of her own, etc.
Older men who find themselves in hot water with the family are those who think that they have a toy to play with, rather than a fellow human being who wants to be loved and treated with some respect. A controlling man, who likes to play mind games, will stop at nothing to get a young woman to fall in love with him. This is so that she will be loyal and take whatever he is dishing out. If he has a fetish, she will fulfill it. If he wants her to do some things that he could never get his wife to do, she will do it. If he desires a trophy and nothing more, then she will be it. Of course, none of which she does for him comes without a requested token or reward. You know, "I like those shoes, could you get them...? Do you think you can help me pay my student loan bill...?"
Why bother to seek out any woman, young or old, rich or poor, smart or dumb, to be nothing more than an object to meet one's selfish needs? A wise man who desires love is going to build a foundation and a reputation that says, "I am not an old fool. I seek a committed relationship. I want what is best for your daughter. I intend to respect her and I want her to do the same."
Now that, my friend, is a real man!
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and others including Things to Do When Bored and Work Place Problems
Wednesday
His Family, Her Family Not Your Friends
Family is just that family. They may act like friends at times, but those who have been there for you through it all are meant to protect you, advise you, love you, and do whatever else for you, but don't expect the same from your dating partner's family.
So many girlfriends and boyfriends enter into families expecting to receive the same, if not better, treatment from their partner's family. They falsely assume that because they haven't been in any family wars with the in-laws that they will be treated like "one of the family." This phrase sounds nice in movies, but the reality is that maybe one or two of your mate's relatives might be open to embracing you like calling or visiting the two of you and really taking interest in who you are (and not necessarily what you have), but not most of your future inlaws. Therefore, they can't be trusted with private information about you or the status of your relationship with their loved one, so don't bother sharing deep feelings, whether written or verbal, because what you say might come back to haunt you one day. For instance, don't say something like, "I love her with all my heart and I will do almost anything to make sure she stays happy with me." Family won't forget.
When we feel comfortable around those "nice, polite," and "sweetheart" types of people, who don't appear like they could hurt a fly, we tend to talk too much. Grandma may act kind and Grandpa might be cordial too, but they just might have a dark side. Parents aren't always "cool" or "great to be around" so don't take the flattering statements too seriously. Chances are there are some things that your mate really doesn't want his or her family to know about your relationship, faith, upbringing, job, and more. It can be challenging to know what to say or what not to say when you don't talk to your mate about topics in advance. You wouldn't want to go to your girlfriend's or boyfriend's parents' home joining in on a conversation about how your mate can't cook, doesn't like to clean, and was good for nothing as a child. Imagine what the ride home will be like with your partner. If your relatives are mean-spirited, angry, bitter or have some sort of mental condition, don't hide these things say so. If your partner may not mesh very well with certain relatives then why bother bringing her or him to their setting? If you know you don't like your family for one reason or another, then deal with those issues without bringing someone you love into your mess. Warn him or her of those challenges you have with certain family members.
There are relatives who don't mind telling everyone all about you both good and bad. You may not be ready to tell your mate everything about you, so it would make sense not to bring her or him around big mouth relatives until you are comfortable about discussing how you feel about things. If you choose to procrastinate on certain issues, know that the big mouth relative will not hesitate to share information about your past, present and future the moment he or she is left alone with your mate.
Some couples will argue or defend favorite relatives by saying things like, "Well, that's not what she meant...I don't know why she said that, but she is really a great person...He isn't so bad." But the truth is, most relatives and friends mean what they say, they don't need a public relations campaign for or against them. They are not interested in making friends with your lover or many lovers, they are more concerned about getting to know who these people are who you claim you care about and whether or not one of them is a keeper or all are losers.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make early on in your intimate relationship is to argue with your special someone about what a family member's feelings are concerning him or her. People usually can detect whether feelings behind one's smile are genuine or fake, so when a mate communicates, "I don't believe your mom really likes me..." after several times of being around her, most likely she doesn't.
Naive, gullible people who are more concerned about impressing people, rather than studying them, will assume that everyone likes them and wants to be their friend, but let us be reminded that family are just family. They are more concerned about a loved one's happiness then being best buddies, so be mindful of what you say to them.
Nicholl McGuire
So many girlfriends and boyfriends enter into families expecting to receive the same, if not better, treatment from their partner's family. They falsely assume that because they haven't been in any family wars with the in-laws that they will be treated like "one of the family." This phrase sounds nice in movies, but the reality is that maybe one or two of your mate's relatives might be open to embracing you like calling or visiting the two of you and really taking interest in who you are (and not necessarily what you have), but not most of your future inlaws. Therefore, they can't be trusted with private information about you or the status of your relationship with their loved one, so don't bother sharing deep feelings, whether written or verbal, because what you say might come back to haunt you one day. For instance, don't say something like, "I love her with all my heart and I will do almost anything to make sure she stays happy with me." Family won't forget.
When we feel comfortable around those "nice, polite," and "sweetheart" types of people, who don't appear like they could hurt a fly, we tend to talk too much. Grandma may act kind and Grandpa might be cordial too, but they just might have a dark side. Parents aren't always "cool" or "great to be around" so don't take the flattering statements too seriously. Chances are there are some things that your mate really doesn't want his or her family to know about your relationship, faith, upbringing, job, and more. It can be challenging to know what to say or what not to say when you don't talk to your mate about topics in advance. You wouldn't want to go to your girlfriend's or boyfriend's parents' home joining in on a conversation about how your mate can't cook, doesn't like to clean, and was good for nothing as a child. Imagine what the ride home will be like with your partner. If your relatives are mean-spirited, angry, bitter or have some sort of mental condition, don't hide these things say so. If your partner may not mesh very well with certain relatives then why bother bringing her or him to their setting? If you know you don't like your family for one reason or another, then deal with those issues without bringing someone you love into your mess. Warn him or her of those challenges you have with certain family members.
There are relatives who don't mind telling everyone all about you both good and bad. You may not be ready to tell your mate everything about you, so it would make sense not to bring her or him around big mouth relatives until you are comfortable about discussing how you feel about things. If you choose to procrastinate on certain issues, know that the big mouth relative will not hesitate to share information about your past, present and future the moment he or she is left alone with your mate.
Some couples will argue or defend favorite relatives by saying things like, "Well, that's not what she meant...I don't know why she said that, but she is really a great person...He isn't so bad." But the truth is, most relatives and friends mean what they say, they don't need a public relations campaign for or against them. They are not interested in making friends with your lover or many lovers, they are more concerned about getting to know who these people are who you claim you care about and whether or not one of them is a keeper or all are losers.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make early on in your intimate relationship is to argue with your special someone about what a family member's feelings are concerning him or her. People usually can detect whether feelings behind one's smile are genuine or fake, so when a mate communicates, "I don't believe your mom really likes me..." after several times of being around her, most likely she doesn't.
Naive, gullible people who are more concerned about impressing people, rather than studying them, will assume that everyone likes them and wants to be their friend, but let us be reminded that family are just family. They are more concerned about a loved one's happiness then being best buddies, so be mindful of what you say to them.
Nicholl McGuire
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