Time to Show Off Your Younger or Older Mate for the Holidays

The day will soon be here! You will be making a statement whether you know it or not when you bring your new mate home for the holidays. So what do you say? What will they say? How will you react? What do you think your partner will do? So many questions, so little time. Let's talk about the dos and don'ts.

1. Do stay positive.

Although some will not favor your choice in a mate whether to your face or behind your back, ignore the looks and address negative comments, but always remember why you love your partner!

2. Do your homework before you and your date arrive to the family function.

Find out from relatives and friends what the mood is like before you arrive. If there is alot of tension about your decision, find somewhere else to spend the holidays.

3. Do avoid family disagreements.

You may be accustomed to arguing with certain family members and friends about one thing or another, try not to. You don't want to give your partner the wrong impression. Also, he or she may already feel tensed being around people he or she doesn't know, so try to keep conversations light.

4. Do respect your partner's feelings.

When your partner says, "I think we should go...I don't feel comfortable..." Don't make a scene. Politely excuse yourself when the opportune time comes and find out what occurred away from the site so as not to draw attention to the two of you.

5. Don't act bossy, know-it-all, negative, toward your partner in front of your family.

Sometimes we tend to tell our partners everything about everything when we are around people we know and we may even act a little different. Check your attitude and be sure you are putting your best foot forward not only with everyone else, but more specifically your partner.

6. Don't leave your partner alone with family for long periods of time.

Family have a way with words once you leave your partner alone. If you know you have difficult, negative relatives and friends, don't leave your partner alone with these people.

7. Don't allow your family to disrespect your partner.

Age is nothing but a number, but for some it is more than that and they may not hesitate to let everyone know how they feel. Don't stand there and let the relative or friend tell you and your partner off.

8. Don't feel tempted to joke about age or appearance with others.

Sometimes people will give into jokes because they want to go along just to get along. If you are in the relationship for the long haul, you don't want to set a precedence from the beginning that says, "I don't care..." when you know that you or your date really does care. Cut the joking off from the beginning and everyone will know where you stand.

Now that you have your tips for the holidays, enjoy! If things take a bad turn, try not to break your relationship off with your mate until you are certain he or she is not the one, not because of pressure or negative reaction from family and friends.

Advice Every Young Woman Needs When Dating an Older Man

Many young women are dating older men not having a clue as to the differences they will encounter in the future. These differences are not as obvious as the physical ones, but there are mental ones that every woman should be made aware. As a result they have led to many men breaking up marriages ten years plus for younger women, going into depressions, having children late in life that they regret having, and so much more.

Younger women must be prepared for a possible future heartbreak that may leave them confused and bitter for the rest of their lives if their not careful. The following advice may or may not have been shared with you by some well-meaning family member or friend. If you are having problems as a younger woman understanding an older man, then take heed.

Older men have their reasons for dating a younger woman. A well-educated, wealthy, handsome, older man is not dating a younger woman for just mere shallow reasons like "she's pretty and athletic" neither is an ignorant, poor, ugly, older man. His reasons may be even more complicated since he doesn't have everything going for him like his handsome friend. If you are a younger woman with discerning family members and friends they may have already told you to "be careful" and they may have questioned your choice and asked you what does he want with you?

So what does he really want with you? Well you will have to get to know him in order to find out the answer to that question. Since many younger women are busily preparing for their careers, involved in various activities, and spend time socializing with friends, they aren't spending a lot of time getting to know their older men. Unfortunately, it is very easy for the mature man to say and do things that may ultimately hurt his younger mate's feelings in the end. Some younger men can and will do the same, but for the purposes of this article we will not be talking about them.

Do you know for a fact that your older man isn't still married? Are you aware of the children he may have had in previous relationships? What about the bills that he won't tell you about? Can he really take care of you like he has promised? Are you the only woman in his life? Have you met any of his male and female friends? How close are you with his relatives?

Let's explore some of the reasons he may have wanted to date someone 10, 15 or even 20 years younger. Some men have admitted younger women don't have as much "baggage" as older women. By baggage, they mean past experiences with men that have usually been negative. He is hoping a younger woman will bring a physical energy to his life that wasn't there before, more on that later. If he isn't a parent already, he may be looking to procreate. Older men with controlling personalities, don't want women who are "mouthy" meaning women who will speak their minds, independent thinker types. He also won't appreciate the younger woman being close to family and friends, because he doesn't want their input to expose whatever he may or may not be doing to make their daughter happy. With some older men, their objective is to find a younger woman who is naive, and will cater to his every need. This may or may not describe your man; however, a good way to find out is to ask questions, observe whether what he does aligns with what he says. Is he communicating with you about all sorts of subjects or just one or two like sex and music? Does he seem to be comfortable wherever the two of you go or does he seem quiet, distant not really interested in any thing except getting you back home? When you find an inconsistency in his statements and actions then you will know what kind of man you are dating.

There have been many younger women who have been deceived into thinking that an older man has more money, time, patience, and skill than other men. This kind of shallow advice has unfortunately come from people who have had good experiences dating older men. However, nothing could be further from the truth. There are many older men who struggle with paying bills just like younger men. They don't always have time on their hands to spend with their younger mate mainly when they are looking forward to retirement; therefore, they may be putting in longer hours at work. As for patience and skill sometimes they may have less of it than younger men simply due to the aging process and the time period at which they grew up. Things were really different back in their day. You, as the younger woman, will have to recognize and respect those differences.

Speaking of health ailments, men between the ages of 40-55 show signs of what some call "the male menopause" also known as andropause. This is a health condition that occurs when his testosterone levels begin to decrease. When this occurs, he becomes increasingly tired, moody, experiences hot flashes, a decrease in libido and other related conditions. Some men also experience a mid-life crisis and when this happens he begins to think about the things in life he has accomplished and what he has yet to do. If he isn't satisfied with how he has lived his life he may become depressed or he may overcompensate for his lack by doing things to make him feel better. Some of the things he chooses to do may not seem practical to others such as buying the car he always dreamed of, dating you, leaving a marriage that he has been in for over ten years, dressing like people half his age, obsessing over his appearance, etc.

While he may be going through andropause, the women who he has dated in the past or the one he was married to may have been going through menopause. He may not have been able to handle her mood swings, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, wavering libido and all the other symptoms that menopausal women face. Remember earlier I told you he might have been looking for a younger woman with more physical energy? Well, another woman's menopausal symptoms may have been severe enough to drive him into your arms. Rather be understanding of the aging process that women his age experience, he looks to find a younger woman who doesn't have these symptoms. However, what he has forgotten, in his quest to find less baggage, is that women of childbearing age will have menstrual issues and if they become pregnant will go through similar issues that menopausal women face. Find out why he really left his previous mate and if it was for reasons such as "she was moody or tired all the time." If that is the case, then don't believe that he will understand when you go through your menstrual cycle or become pregnant.

This information is vital to have when you are dating older men or think that they are better than men your own age. Know that if you should date an older man, there are shallow ideologies that you must rid yourself from thinking. Rather, go into your future relationships, desiring the following: "a man that will sincerely love me with all my faults, be patient with me, have hope for our future even in the storms, and respect the people whom I love." The money, fame, fortune or anything else you are seeking come with hard work and are shared with the spouses who are in the relationship for the long haul. Young women who have sought men solely for these qualities may be riding in the limousine for a moment, but in time are kicked out with their bags left on the curb wearing humiliation on their faces.

Dating Older Men: What Does Everyone Really Think?

Ever wonder what you, your mate and others really think of the younger woman with the older man? Putting aside everything you have been told or what you have seen when it comes to relationships like this, could you sincerely be honest, fair, and even encouraging when it comes to dating an older or younger partner or befriending this type of couple? Depending on your age, how secure you are about yourself and your own relationship, and dating experiences will determine how you truly feel about a younger woman dating an older man.

You may be the younger woman curious about dating an older man or you may be the older man interested in dating a younger woman. Then again, you may not be either but just a concerned relative or friend. Whatever your reason for seeking additional information about younger women and older men, know that you aren't alone in the way you feel. There are plenty of couples who either privately or publicly struggle with some issues as they come up and the more knowledge you have about the subject, the more comfortable you will feel about talking to an older man and younger woman. In addition, you will feel confident interacting with family members and friends with your older or younger companion by your side and/ or teaching others about your dating experiences. There are many questions and concerns about this subject of dating younger women and older men. For purposes of this article, we will discuss what some older men, younger women, friends, and family may be thinking about their relationship.

Let's begin with the first. What do young women and older men really think when dating one another? One thought the couple may have relates to the newness of the relationship. For some they have dated an older or younger mate in the past, others have not so it may be more challenging for them. Couples also think about how unique they are from other couples in their circle especially if most of their friends are significantly younger or older. They also find that because of the age differences there are some very interesting subject areas that can be discussed from hobbies to employment. Further, they may talk about challenging topics as they come up such as: short and long term goals, emotions, responsibilities, religion, ethics, and accountability. These subjects are no different than any other couple who may be the same age or closely matched.

A concern that may come up during the dating phase is what does each partner honestly think about the other? For instance, an older man may look at his younger date as being someone very unique from what he is accustomed to dating. He may also notice how energetic, fun or independent she is unlike the women in his own age group. His younger partner may see her older man as intelligent, caring, kind, and mature unlike young men she has dated in the past. Together they may complement one another because they are so different. However, sometimes these differences can get in the way of one another's future plans which unfortunately can lead to arguments and later separation or breakup. For example, let's say his young partner is interested in saving money for her college education while her older partner is more concerned about retirement. They may have differences on what each may find a priority. Without open and honest communication often, most couples whether young or old will come to an end.

The popular question of "what will my friends think" may cross the couple's mind especially with the younger woman. Since friendships are still very important to her, a young woman doesn't want to feel isolated or ridiculed because she is with an older man, so she may either distance herself from her older partner or end the relationship without what seems to be good reasons. Sometimes a new relationship may override old friends and she may grow distant or cut them off altogether particularly if they have been increasingly judgmental. While peer pressure may affect youth, it has no impact on maturity. Her older partner who has already been through that phase in his life may not care what others think. However, there are some older men who do care about his friends' opinions depending on his public involvement. For instance, an older man may cave into the pressure of his older boss, friends, business associates and others for the sake of his reputation. He doesn't want the criticism of others affecting things like: his finances, relationship with his older children, or investments because he is with a younger woman. Sometimes older friends may actually like the idea he is with someone younger if it is bringing out the best in him. They may refer to his younger partner as "sexy, fun or good for you!"

A final concern that the couple may have is what their family thinks. Although family may have been very supportive in the past about the couple's former partners, they may not be so supportive when they see a drastic change in their relative's taste in a man or woman. They may ask, "Why this man? He is just too old for you! Aren't you concerned she might be a gold-digger? Don't you think she is too young?" The family may have forgotten about the times in their past when someone didn't like their mates because they were "too flashy, conceited, rude, arrogant, angry, or irresponsible." When the couple finds that they are being inundated with negativity from family, they may decline invites to holiday celebrations, avoid visiting unless absolutely necessary, attend functions separately, and/or limit what information they share about their relationship. These are all precautions they use to protect their feelings about their mate.

The younger woman and older man may have a great, long-lasting future if they can put aside the comments of well-meaning family members and friends. They may want to evaluate each statement made by people in their circles by looking for signs of hidden jealous, criticism or personal bias.