You Can't Help Who You Fall in Love With...

You might not be able to help who you fall in love with, but you can exercise self-control through the process. Too many people claim to be in love, but are they really?  It looks more like falling head over heals in lust with others before they truly experience real love. 

You know that your "love" for someone isn't real when you are easily offended over the things they say or do no matter how harmless and you find it hard to forgive.  You know that you aren't in love when you are more concerned about one's appearance and less focused on how they respond to you.  You know that you are still getting over your past when you find that your emotions are not aligning with the person you are currently with no matter how much you convince yourself you love him or her.

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Love is active, peaceful, freeing, hopeful, caring, and considerate.  But what love isn't is unkind, rude, arrogant, and selfish.  You may love someone and he or she might be significantly older or younger.  Check whether you sincerely believe that what you are feeling for this person is indeed love.  Here's how...

1) When your partner is around, your thoughts are not often negative, but positive--you aim to please!

2)  You think twice about talking rudely to your partner like saying mean things about him or her whether in-person or behind his or her back.

3)  You often think of a future with your fellow or gal and you just can't see yourself living without him or her.

4)  You are determined to make your relationship work no matter how difficult it gets.  However, you have far more positive days then negative ones.

5) Any form of abuse is absent from your relationship.  You wouldn't even think of insulting or assaulting your loved one.

6)  You don't hesitate to help that special someone when called upon or even when there is no request.  You are conscience of your partner's needs. "Thoughtful and considerate..." are words that your partner uses to describe you.

7)  You don't mind proclaiming to the world that this person is your mate.  You will defend him or her no matter what!

Whether black, brown, yellow or white, you just don't care about what others think.  You love your friend and that is all that matters!

Learn more about Nicholl McGuire, owner of this blog, here: Facebook.

On Ending a Miserable Relationship

A man tells a woman that he is in love with her, wants the pair to move in together, and promises to marry her and have children with his special lady one day.  The woman is excited about the future.  She tells her friends just how much her new man has made her happy.  The two plan dates on when to move-in together and discuss a future date for a wedding.  It all appears normal, right?

As the relationship matures, the couple begins to notice things about one another’s personalities that turn them off.  The man is easily angered over small things like how his partner organizes things and how often she visits with her family.  The woman isn’t happy about the way her mate talks to her when he needs something and isn’t fond of how he smells.  In time, the little issues grow into bigger ones and the two break up.  The former couple moves on with their lives.

During the process of breaking up, like the couple described previously, many individuals don't do anything about the anger still within after disputes.  Communication might have left one another feeling disrespected.  Offensive comments said by relatives and friends might have caused conflict.  Bad relationships don't end up on any road toward forgiveness.  Unfortunately, future daters coming along don’t know about the rude awakening that is sure to come when one is still not over his or her ex or other past partners.

Ending a miserable relationship is not something that happens easily when feelings are still apparent between the pair, but it can be done successfully if one doesn't fall back into the arms of the one who is hurting him or her. 

1.  Find some time to be alone.  Ponder on the things that have made you so unhappy in the relationship.

2.  Talk with loved ones about how you feel in the relationship and consider their advice.

3.  Don't spend much time with a partner you are strongly thinking about breaking up with, this will only cause confusion.  You want to be clear with him or her that you are unhappy.

4.  Expect your date to act ugly during this time when you both aren't getting along, so be sure you safeguard your personal possessions and you alert necessary parties about a crazy ex.

5.  Whatever you do, don't play the make up to break up game because you will only prolong the break up process.

6.  As much as you want to believe someone has changed, the change he or she claims is temporary.  Most people are who they are and can't easily go from being a mean-spirited person to a sweetheart overnight unless their rage was substance induced.  

Working toward a happy ending for you is the best way to end a relationship.  You are no longer thinking of "We" but "I."  You recognize that a miserable connection is not what you want and so you do what it takes to free you of your mistake.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues, She's Crazy, and Laboring to Love Myself

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Encourage Your Man to Take Care of Himself

He's complaining about his eyesight.  He is often talking about "feeling so tired...and not as energetic as I use to be..."  One day you thought you might have to call an ambulance for him because he just didn't look or act his self.  Caring partners will not only do kind things but express their care by telling one another the difficult truth about what they see and feel in one another.

Your partner might have noticed an increase in symptoms impacting his heart, kidneys or circulation.  What's up with this guy? He has strange feelings in his chest, bathroom issues, and pain in his legs.  On the outside, he looks good, but what is really going on under the hood?  Could he have diabetes?

There is new research out there about diabetes.  You might be familiar with Type 1 or Type 2 and thought, "That is what old people have like my mom and dad."  But there are many people who aren't very old suffering from this disease.  Learn more about diabetes, The New Diabetes Research That Could Change Everything, on the Vitamonk website.