Not everyone in the family will be supportive of a young woman dating an older fellow. When this happens, it makes it difficult to focus on the relationship. Male relatives can be overprotective and even threatening when it comes to their loved one going out with the "old dude" they may even wish death upon him for coming into their young relative's life.
Any man who sincerely wants to be in a relationship with someone will fight to be with his partner, but he won't be a fool to stay when all hell is breaking lose because of his mere existence. One would be wise to determine what type of fight will he be fighting and how long in order to stay with his young date. He will also need to observe his young partner's mannerisms whe dealing with family. She may still be too young mentally to handle being in a relationship with a mature man and too fearful to stand up to family.
Threats of violence from the woman's family members and friends just isn't worth it although some men enjoy a challenge. However, one would be better off waiting until the young woman is independent and away from troubled relatives. If she is in love and genuinely cares for her older man, she must understand that he is not going to keep putting his life at risk to be with her--no matter how beautiful she might be. Chances are a relative or friend may have warned him to go away or else.
"The old dude" is typically hated by one or a few relatives simply because he may have done some things to the young woman that she shared with relatives who were supposed to keep quiet about, but didn't. They don't like "the old dude" for good reason even if all parties don't know what about.
Sometimes the older man did nothing during the dating process to hurt the young lady, but just the sight of an aging man going out with the young, attractive person just might be too much to bear for some. Thoughts might be, "What does he want with my daughter/niece/sister/cousin? Who does he think he is showing up at my doorstep...I know his type!?" That type might be like the one questioning the relationship, a liar, cheat, pimp, player type. It takes one, to know one.
The couple will want to consider the family's objections; however, don't permit loved ones to dominate one's choice in a partner. Maybe there are some things that they see in one or both individuals that are a sincere cause for concern.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains and contributes to the blog: Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. and Relationship Advice.
Tuesday
Understand a Father Daughter Relationship Before You Date a Young Woman
If the young woman doesn't feel love from her own father, she may be a problem for you. A good father raises his daughter to be self-reliant, spiritual, loving, etc. If she isn't interested in being controlled, reliant on you, and has a faith, be grateful for that! Don't fight her on it. If her dad is protective, he has good reason. Check your own relationship with your daughter or the one you never had. Could you be involved with a young woman because you really desire a quality father daughter relationship?
Saturday
Young Woman You Wanted a Rich Man
So you decided to pursue a man with riches. You placed yourself at the right place at the right time whether on or off the Internet. However, now you have some thoughts about who he is and all that comes with him that aren't so positive. Well, when this sort of thing happens; take a step back. You will need to re-evaluate whether you are willing to compromise personal beliefs, make yourself available more than you want to, and other things to keep that rich man in your life.
There is more to life than money, but for some women, whether young or old, that is all they think about. "How much can I get out of him? I need this paid...what will I have to do to get him to pay for it?" These thoughts and others can create unnecessary stress. Worrying over how to get someone to do something for you can be burdensome. How much do you trust yourself to get what you want? How much do you value you? If your date is so rich, why do you feel the need to have to jump through hoops to get him to help you? When you find yourself thinking more about his riches and less about the man himself, there is a problem--a big problem. Sooner or later you will start to dislike who you are because you secretly feel the way you do about the rich man and his riches. In addition, you just might lose interest in the rich man if he starts rejecting you often. Keep in mind, he will be watching to see if you are indeed interested in him or his money like so many others do.
You may have to tweak some things about you so that you can honestly have a great relationship free of the complications that money and sex can bring. Maybe you need to get out more, pursue hobbies, take classes, or do other things to make you more interesting. Often young women become insecure, controlling, and rude when they feel their position in a rich man's life is being threatened. These issues could be avoided had these women started a relationship with the rich man for the right reasons. A rich man will also need to think about whether he wants more with his young partner in the future, because he knows that in time, there is the possibility that she might want more with him.
Being with a rich man isn't easy. For purposes of this article, rich isn't defined by how much money a man makes only, but everything else that he has as well. A rich man could have many assets, people around him he works with, talents, hobbies, a great personality, and more. The wealthy man shows no evidence of being poor in much of anything. For a young woman who doesn't have much, his lifestyle can be overwhelming and intimidating. Immature women who aren't use to dating rich men can act strangely, rebel, and have temper tantrums like children. If you or someone you know is acting in ways that is causing a rich date to act more like a father figure than a lover, than the relationship will most likely be headed toward a dead-end.
Embrace all that comes with the rich man good, bad, and ugly only if you are accepting of his ways, the people around him, and goods. However, if you know that you are losing your identity and what you stand for while dating such a person, then back off. Maybe he just isn't the answer to your prayers that you thought.
Nicholl McGuire
There is more to life than money, but for some women, whether young or old, that is all they think about. "How much can I get out of him? I need this paid...what will I have to do to get him to pay for it?" These thoughts and others can create unnecessary stress. Worrying over how to get someone to do something for you can be burdensome. How much do you trust yourself to get what you want? How much do you value you? If your date is so rich, why do you feel the need to have to jump through hoops to get him to help you? When you find yourself thinking more about his riches and less about the man himself, there is a problem--a big problem. Sooner or later you will start to dislike who you are because you secretly feel the way you do about the rich man and his riches. In addition, you just might lose interest in the rich man if he starts rejecting you often. Keep in mind, he will be watching to see if you are indeed interested in him or his money like so many others do.
You may have to tweak some things about you so that you can honestly have a great relationship free of the complications that money and sex can bring. Maybe you need to get out more, pursue hobbies, take classes, or do other things to make you more interesting. Often young women become insecure, controlling, and rude when they feel their position in a rich man's life is being threatened. These issues could be avoided had these women started a relationship with the rich man for the right reasons. A rich man will also need to think about whether he wants more with his young partner in the future, because he knows that in time, there is the possibility that she might want more with him.
Being with a rich man isn't easy. For purposes of this article, rich isn't defined by how much money a man makes only, but everything else that he has as well. A rich man could have many assets, people around him he works with, talents, hobbies, a great personality, and more. The wealthy man shows no evidence of being poor in much of anything. For a young woman who doesn't have much, his lifestyle can be overwhelming and intimidating. Immature women who aren't use to dating rich men can act strangely, rebel, and have temper tantrums like children. If you or someone you know is acting in ways that is causing a rich date to act more like a father figure than a lover, than the relationship will most likely be headed toward a dead-end.
Embrace all that comes with the rich man good, bad, and ugly only if you are accepting of his ways, the people around him, and goods. However, if you know that you are losing your identity and what you stand for while dating such a person, then back off. Maybe he just isn't the answer to your prayers that you thought.
Nicholl McGuire
Friday
Age-Gap Dating: How to Know When the Younger Woman is No Longer Interesting in Dating You
The newness wears off in many age-gap relationships. A mature date just isn't as appealing as he once was--it happens. Money and gifts don't keep all young women interested in dating older men especially when she is use to having nice things.
When you think of the many young women who do enjoy the company of older men (at least for a season), you must also realize that many settle with them for a time until they are better able to take care of themselves. Others may like the companionship, but not necessarily the way their men look. As for other young ladies, they just haven't met a charming guy their own age--yet. But for the young women who no longer like or want to be around their older men, they will act subtle or quite boldly about how they truly feel about them.
1. She frequently makes up excuses not to go out with him.
2. She isn't much interested in his conversation and frequently looks away, answers her cell phone, or strikes up a conversation with others just so that he will stop talking.
3. She ignores him when he calls.
4. She badmouths about him to his face and behind his back without remorse.
5. She isn't interested in being in the same room with him.
6. She expresses little or no interest in his hobbies like she once did.
7. She doesn't smile much around him.
8. She is very guarded about sharing her private life and feelings. For instance, she talks about others' thoughts/ideas/activities, but rarely shares how she feels about too much of anything.
9. She stops asking her date/boyfriend to buy her things.
10. She shows little, if any, affection toward him and doesn't act very responsive toward him when it comes to sex.
If you are a woman reading this and can relate to many of these signs, chances are you just don't like your date much, it would be best to make plans and move on. If you are a man reading this and really desire to keep your young lady friend around, step up your game and ask her does she really want to be in a relationship with you!
Nicholl McGuire
When you think of the many young women who do enjoy the company of older men (at least for a season), you must also realize that many settle with them for a time until they are better able to take care of themselves. Others may like the companionship, but not necessarily the way their men look. As for other young ladies, they just haven't met a charming guy their own age--yet. But for the young women who no longer like or want to be around their older men, they will act subtle or quite boldly about how they truly feel about them.
1. She frequently makes up excuses not to go out with him.
2. She isn't much interested in his conversation and frequently looks away, answers her cell phone, or strikes up a conversation with others just so that he will stop talking.
3. She ignores him when he calls.
4. She badmouths about him to his face and behind his back without remorse.
5. She isn't interested in being in the same room with him.
6. She expresses little or no interest in his hobbies like she once did.
7. She doesn't smile much around him.
8. She is very guarded about sharing her private life and feelings. For instance, she talks about others' thoughts/ideas/activities, but rarely shares how she feels about too much of anything.
9. She stops asking her date/boyfriend to buy her things.
10. She shows little, if any, affection toward him and doesn't act very responsive toward him when it comes to sex.
If you are a woman reading this and can relate to many of these signs, chances are you just don't like your date much, it would be best to make plans and move on. If you are a man reading this and really desire to keep your young lady friend around, step up your game and ask her does she really want to be in a relationship with you!
Nicholl McGuire
Monday
On Breaking Up with Younger or Older Partner - You Can't Get Away that Easy or Can You?
When you had your problems and your date had his or her's, you were there. When loneliness was getting the best of you, that's when your lover came along. When life was such a bore, your new friend brought excitement. In the beginning, it was nice. He grew to love you, treated you so sweetly. She was beautiful, charming, and gave you butterflies like in a teenage romance. But now?
It can be difficult to break up with someone who might still have a way of luring you back into his or her life even when you know he or she is no good for you. Your partner may have been a true friend when no one seemed to care. However, sometimes things go stale in relationships, because people change. From childbirth to unresolved issues of the past, change can make or break relationships. One must know when he or she can't stomach change anymore. You will know when you just can't go on in a relationship if any of the following has started or you believe will begin:
1. Feeling the need to cover up stories with lies. Sometimes having no feelings of remorse.
2. Frequent thoughts of wishing ill on this person.
3. Unable to forgive and forget every time he or she says or does something that offends.
4. An increase of disputes followed by thoughts of breaking up that don't seem to go away.
5. Your body often aches around this person from headaches to backaches.
6. You don't enjoy touching, smelling, or looking at this person like you once did.
7. You find that you have very little in common with him or her.
If most or even all of these signs apply to your current relationship, cut your losses early! Make plans to distance yourself from this individual. Cut this person off sexually and emotionally. Get belongings and stay away from him or her. If you force yourself to stay when you really don't want to, eventually you will mistreat this person and it just might lead to physical violence.
Nicholl McGuire
It can be difficult to break up with someone who might still have a way of luring you back into his or her life even when you know he or she is no good for you. Your partner may have been a true friend when no one seemed to care. However, sometimes things go stale in relationships, because people change. From childbirth to unresolved issues of the past, change can make or break relationships. One must know when he or she can't stomach change anymore. You will know when you just can't go on in a relationship if any of the following has started or you believe will begin:
1. Feeling the need to cover up stories with lies. Sometimes having no feelings of remorse.
2. Frequent thoughts of wishing ill on this person.
3. Unable to forgive and forget every time he or she says or does something that offends.
4. An increase of disputes followed by thoughts of breaking up that don't seem to go away.
5. Your body often aches around this person from headaches to backaches.
6. You don't enjoy touching, smelling, or looking at this person like you once did.
7. You find that you have very little in common with him or her.
If most or even all of these signs apply to your current relationship, cut your losses early! Make plans to distance yourself from this individual. Cut this person off sexually and emotionally. Get belongings and stay away from him or her. If you force yourself to stay when you really don't want to, eventually you will mistreat this person and it just might lead to physical violence.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
When Dating Older Goes Bad...
Dr Phil: A 26 Year Age Divide: Can This Couple Be Saved [December 16, 2013]
Wednesday
Do You Know What You Really Want Young Woman, Older Gentleman?
The carefree attitude that a date might convey is such a draw when getting to know someone who looks and acts better than an ex. In the beginning, everyone appears as if they are okay with just about anything one does. "Do you have other people you are dating?" Yes. "Is it okay if we have sex?" Sure. "Do you like wild stuff?" Yeah. "Would you mind if I asked you to...?" Okay. Everything seems so easy. Right? She compliments you on your physique and he talks about how much you are turning him on. But then in time, things start to get complicated, doesn't it?
He wants you to do more of whatever you reluctantly agreed to. She starts complaining about what you do or don't do. What happened to the "No big deal" personality? "How did we end up like this?" one asks his or herself. The reason, there was never any boundaries. The thought of protecting one's mind, body and spirit was too much for some and so they went along just to get along.
One must remember that when dating, you are still in a relationship with each and every person you are going out with, although short-lived at times, one is still relating to the other. What this means is that eventually someone will be wanting something more if they sincerely like you. Who wouldn't? If I saw a piece of cake that I wanted, you think I wouldn't want a taste? If you keep letting me eating of that cake, you are then training me to expect it.
You have to know, whether you are returning to the dating scene, still in it, or planning to get out, what you truly want out of a partner or even better out of life? If you are just blindly taking one day at a time, then you are leaving it up to someone else to dictate your future. For instance, if a young woman knows that she wants to relocate in a week, a month, or a year from now and her older gentleman friend isn't planning on moving anywhere, guess who will want to try to change her plans? Would he be willing to pack up his life for the sake of being with a younger partner? Most likely not if he is content with his location. A mature man knows that life outside of his sexual escapades is pretty much settled for him.
Now when one goes into a relationship with goals and visions of the future, he or she is seeking someone to help complete them. Most people don't want to connect with individuals who can't help them in some way from friendship to business. What is really the benefit in getting to know you? What are you really receiving from the person you are dating besides the typical dinner, movie and sex at his or her house or a hotel some where? What does the future really hold--more of the same?
Some people expect a lot when they date while others not so much. When you have a good idea what you don't want when dating, you usually are able to determine what you do want. Most individuals want a companion, a good friendship that just might last until death.
Sometimes couples have a hard time in their relationships, because there is a failure to communicate what one really desires. Men and women want to be heard in relationships and when there is more sexual groaning and moaning going on and less talking, in time one realizes he or she really doesn't know the person at all. A date might want to get to know his sexual partner, but by that time it might be too late especially if the person has lost much interest.
So do take the time to share what you really want when dating a younger woman or older man, and who knows, it might grow into something more if you are willing.
Nicholl McGuire author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street, a book of poems.
He wants you to do more of whatever you reluctantly agreed to. She starts complaining about what you do or don't do. What happened to the "No big deal" personality? "How did we end up like this?" one asks his or herself. The reason, there was never any boundaries. The thought of protecting one's mind, body and spirit was too much for some and so they went along just to get along.
One must remember that when dating, you are still in a relationship with each and every person you are going out with, although short-lived at times, one is still relating to the other. What this means is that eventually someone will be wanting something more if they sincerely like you. Who wouldn't? If I saw a piece of cake that I wanted, you think I wouldn't want a taste? If you keep letting me eating of that cake, you are then training me to expect it.
You have to know, whether you are returning to the dating scene, still in it, or planning to get out, what you truly want out of a partner or even better out of life? If you are just blindly taking one day at a time, then you are leaving it up to someone else to dictate your future. For instance, if a young woman knows that she wants to relocate in a week, a month, or a year from now and her older gentleman friend isn't planning on moving anywhere, guess who will want to try to change her plans? Would he be willing to pack up his life for the sake of being with a younger partner? Most likely not if he is content with his location. A mature man knows that life outside of his sexual escapades is pretty much settled for him.
Now when one goes into a relationship with goals and visions of the future, he or she is seeking someone to help complete them. Most people don't want to connect with individuals who can't help them in some way from friendship to business. What is really the benefit in getting to know you? What are you really receiving from the person you are dating besides the typical dinner, movie and sex at his or her house or a hotel some where? What does the future really hold--more of the same?
Some people expect a lot when they date while others not so much. When you have a good idea what you don't want when dating, you usually are able to determine what you do want. Most individuals want a companion, a good friendship that just might last until death.
Sometimes couples have a hard time in their relationships, because there is a failure to communicate what one really desires. Men and women want to be heard in relationships and when there is more sexual groaning and moaning going on and less talking, in time one realizes he or she really doesn't know the person at all. A date might want to get to know his sexual partner, but by that time it might be too late especially if the person has lost much interest.
So do take the time to share what you really want when dating a younger woman or older man, and who knows, it might grow into something more if you are willing.
Nicholl McGuire author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street, a book of poems.
Friday
Avoid Sex with Minors
Here are some reasons not to even think about dating a child much less being intimate with them! There are laws in the United States against sex with minors. Although some countries still permit these unions between children and adults, there are serious consequences that prove why one would be better off staying away! Now some might argue that "Nothing happened when I..." but sooner or later something will, better off removing one's self out of the situation before someone gets hurt!
8-year-old bride dies from internal injuries because of 40-year-old husband
Malaysian Man Accused Of Rape Marries 13-Year-Old Victim; Attorney General Vows To Pursue Charges
Rumor Update: 70-year-old man marries 15-year-old girl
5-year-old Indian girl dies of heart attack after rape (The incident was not an arranged marriage).
Here are some tips when it comes to identifying whether a young woman is really a girl:
1. She uses heavy makeup and when she appears without it, she looks like a young child.
2. She doesn't converse like an experienced woman. For instance, she has little, if any, responsibilites.
3. She often talks about parents or caretakers providing for her.
4. Her ID appears to be tampered with and she acts like she can't be seen with you.
5. The girl talks about interests that most young women aren't the least bit interested in.
6. She is hypersexual (often talking about it, clingy, dresses for attention).
7. She may or may not act discreet when it comes to sex. She may show signs that she isn't respectful of herself or others.
8. When upset, she will cry like a child or have a fit. She fails to communicate concerns like an adult would.
For more tips, see other articles on this blog under the labels "advice choosing young women to date" and "advice for older men seeking younger women."
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