Tuesday
Monday
Is She Really Worth Getting into Trouble?
Some men don't think before they react to a beautiful woman (or possibly young girl) in their presence. They don't bother to think about the consequences if they should say or do something that could end up putting them in hot water with someone, law enforcement or an angry group. Not every piece of eye candy is who she says she is.
With so many dating websites and so many liars who create profiles on each, one must be very discerning when it comes to selecting a pretty young companion on or offline. Most women seeking older men know exactly what they want from them. They also know what they are willing to give up to get what they want. However, some will change their minds, pretend as if they don't know what is expected of them, or cry or complain about being taken advantage of.
Being that older men are considered "the mature ones" in a relationship, who should know better, they are expected to conduct themselves accordingly. Some things to consider before letting one's flesh override good ole' common sense is as follows when it comes to dating younger women.
1. Think before you speak. Although this is a simple tip, many men don't exercise caution with their tongues. If you know you don't really like or care for the young lady, don't tell her so in a mean-spirited way, but you will have to create some distance--stringing her along is a big No, No! Women can lose their minds if they suspect that they are being played. If you have no plans on meeting her relatives and friends, then make that plain too, but watch how you say that as well. This way she is free to make a decision on whether or not she wants to continue to see you.
2. Never assume she is the age she claims. Far too many young women know how to dress themselves up like celebrities and do well hiding their age. Be sure that you not only checked her ID, but got other information about her that proves she is as old as she claims. Maybe you should meet a friend or two of her's, better safe than sorry later. Notice how her friends act and what they say, you can tell right away just how old the young person really is.
3. Ask about interests whether you care about having a relationship or not with her. This information is useful, because you want to be sure to have a good time with your companion, but you also want to confirm just how old this young lady really is.
4. Avoid going anywhere in the public with the young woman until you know for sure all you need to know about who she is, where she is from, how old she is, who she knows, etc. It's a small world and you don't want to find out one day you are dating a client's daughter, bedding a cousin on your wife's side of the family, or spending money on a love child of yours that you didn't know you had.
Now let's just say you are already in over your head with the young woman. Maybe you have children with her or possibly married to her already, you will definitely need to have a long talk with yourself and seek some advice from others who have been in a similar situation.
If you feel uncomfortable being with her for any reason, don't ignore the signs. Ask yourself, what is it that you, her or the two of you have done that makes you feel like she simply isn't worth all this trouble? Do you have people whispering negative things in your ear about your mate? Do you personally feel like this is someone you no longer want in your life? Are you going through a life change personally or professionally and find it hard trying to balance a relationship too?
Whatever the issue, know that you will need to start making the necessary steps to bring you peace of mind. Avoid staying in a situation just because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, if the relationship isn't for you, it just isn't. Move on.
Think of the many men who should have followed their gut instinct when they had a chance and left an age gap relationship, but didn't. Some of these men are now deceased, jobless, incarcerated, or lost their wives and children as a result of messing with a crazy, young woman. Also, consider this, you can drive a young lady crazy when you do the following: act as if you don't know what you want, are unwilling to work on the relationship and treat her with respect, make promises you can't keep, cheat, or lie to her.
No woman in her right mind is going to keep taking any form of abuse, know what you want.
Nicholl McGuire
With so many dating websites and so many liars who create profiles on each, one must be very discerning when it comes to selecting a pretty young companion on or offline. Most women seeking older men know exactly what they want from them. They also know what they are willing to give up to get what they want. However, some will change their minds, pretend as if they don't know what is expected of them, or cry or complain about being taken advantage of.
Being that older men are considered "the mature ones" in a relationship, who should know better, they are expected to conduct themselves accordingly. Some things to consider before letting one's flesh override good ole' common sense is as follows when it comes to dating younger women.
1. Think before you speak. Although this is a simple tip, many men don't exercise caution with their tongues. If you know you don't really like or care for the young lady, don't tell her so in a mean-spirited way, but you will have to create some distance--stringing her along is a big No, No! Women can lose their minds if they suspect that they are being played. If you have no plans on meeting her relatives and friends, then make that plain too, but watch how you say that as well. This way she is free to make a decision on whether or not she wants to continue to see you.
2. Never assume she is the age she claims. Far too many young women know how to dress themselves up like celebrities and do well hiding their age. Be sure that you not only checked her ID, but got other information about her that proves she is as old as she claims. Maybe you should meet a friend or two of her's, better safe than sorry later. Notice how her friends act and what they say, you can tell right away just how old the young person really is.
3. Ask about interests whether you care about having a relationship or not with her. This information is useful, because you want to be sure to have a good time with your companion, but you also want to confirm just how old this young lady really is.
4. Avoid going anywhere in the public with the young woman until you know for sure all you need to know about who she is, where she is from, how old she is, who she knows, etc. It's a small world and you don't want to find out one day you are dating a client's daughter, bedding a cousin on your wife's side of the family, or spending money on a love child of yours that you didn't know you had.
Now let's just say you are already in over your head with the young woman. Maybe you have children with her or possibly married to her already, you will definitely need to have a long talk with yourself and seek some advice from others who have been in a similar situation.
If you feel uncomfortable being with her for any reason, don't ignore the signs. Ask yourself, what is it that you, her or the two of you have done that makes you feel like she simply isn't worth all this trouble? Do you have people whispering negative things in your ear about your mate? Do you personally feel like this is someone you no longer want in your life? Are you going through a life change personally or professionally and find it hard trying to balance a relationship too?
Whatever the issue, know that you will need to start making the necessary steps to bring you peace of mind. Avoid staying in a situation just because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, if the relationship isn't for you, it just isn't. Move on.
Think of the many men who should have followed their gut instinct when they had a chance and left an age gap relationship, but didn't. Some of these men are now deceased, jobless, incarcerated, or lost their wives and children as a result of messing with a crazy, young woman. Also, consider this, you can drive a young lady crazy when you do the following: act as if you don't know what you want, are unwilling to work on the relationship and treat her with respect, make promises you can't keep, cheat, or lie to her.
No woman in her right mind is going to keep taking any form of abuse, know what you want.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
Jealous, Insecure Women in Relationships Comparing Themselves to Exs
It's challenging enough dating mature men and then to make matters worse, there are the ex-wives and girlfriends that don't seem to go away along with the unsupportive relatives and friends. It isn't any wonder why a young woman would have her share of doubts about the relationship.
Friday
Beyonce and Jay-Z: Young Woman Married to Older Man
When we view celebrities like Beyoncé and Jay-Z in the media, we see an A-list African American couple in an age-gap relationship who are entertainers, successful at what they do, but still people.
It is obvious that someone, a group or the couple themselves are keeping people interested in reading, writing, and talking about them--it's business. The more star power, the more money. However, what we also see is something unfolding that isn't so business related, two human beings evolving and a relationship supposedly coming to an end every other week. This is particularly interesting since both are not only different in years, but also in the way that they express themselves.
You can see that Jay-Z is a mid-life male who is not like some of the young rappers/businessmen who wear jeans saggy, decorate themselves in tattoos, and talk much slang. He is older, more mature, financially secure, and is interested in his family. But he is just a man. One who has needs just like his wife.
Now when the relationship challenges came up in the media, it wasn't any surprise something similar came up prior to their marriage which involved cheating and then showed up again in recent years. When you live under the media's microscope like they do, you can't afford to mess up. As a celebrity, you don't move through life's journey without little fan-fare, everyone is watching. Cheat on your wife or husband and someone will find a way to get the news back to others. Lie about your whereabouts and the witnesses will report back to the camp especially if they want your wife or husband. Beyoncé is someone's or group's fantasy--powerful men all want a piece of Beyoncé. Her beyond sexy dance moves and attire seem to come across as a sells pitch that lures many buyers. She has big fans out there with large bank accounts that would love to bed her. She is also a good distraction from worldly events as well. If a man is paying attention to this young woman's provocative moves (see the old movie Metropolis), he has lost his train of thought when it comes to issues that sincerely matter, but I digress. Older men, most likely more powerful and older than her husband, want a piece of Beyoncé, she calms them when they view her.
On the other hand Jay-Z and his wife might be growing weary of married life, there is always some grain of truth in rumors. The husband wasn't always a man who had a reverence for women, according to his past rhymes. He also wasn't (and still isn't) a model for the family life either and neither is his wife. They are simply people, not role models. Sometimes even if individuals want to change their ways, a society who expects them to behave in certain ways (especially when money is involved and their brand is at stake) won't let them change.
Middle-aged people who have reflected on their past life decisions might do some things differently depending on what they have accomplished thus far and whether they are satisfied with their achievements which also includes family life--there is no separating them when you have them. The human spirit will always be connected somehow some way no matter who you run off and date or impregnate. Yet, many aging men become bored or grow weary of the stress of family. They look for what they think is a more exciting life elsewhere or they desire a more quiet life and move far away from their past.
Women who are more in love with working than family may never change. Look how much time and energy Beyoncé's team uses to keep her busy! These career-focused women might have experienced some negative things growing up or witnessed the ladies in their family go through many trials. Therefore, they never want to be put in any position where they have to respect, rely, be submissive, or appreciate a man. Thinking back to how Beyoncé was packaged at the start of her career, an independent woman, she isn't showing any signs of settling down anytime too soon. Rather she is still encouraging women to work and work and work. But what happens is that between all of the work, a man is saving much money and doesn't have to work as hard for his family. A woman's life hasn't become easier, it has only become more demanding. Many women are dying before men nowadays.
Yet, as we mature, what we used to want/like/need and more in years past, isn't necessarily what we desire today. The ups and downs of Beyoncé and Jay-Z's relationship have been shared with us through their own songs and you get some idea through media interviews with them and others who know them or know the extended family. For years, the couple managed to overcome some storms, but the aftermath of some of their issues spilled out on the stage.
Being in an age gap relationship has its mental and physical challenges, there is no denying these struggles and not everyone can handle them. Sure, it's nice to be with someone wealthy, charming or beautiful, but there has to be more that one loves/likes/appreciates than the superficial or obvious.
The facts show that Beyoncé and Jay-Z lived-together prior to marriage, experienced a miscarriage, had a baby, became close to President Obama and family during his term, and have received special favor as well i.e.) Beyoncé, like Marilyn Monroe, sang before the President and his wife, visited the White House numerous times, and traveled to places that other celebrities may never see in their lifetimes. Beyoncé and Jay-Z have written and produced many songs that weren't all positive about their relationship as well as others.
With so much accomplishment and much time away from one another (which invites all kinds of distractions), an older man and a younger woman, regardless of their age and wealth, will not always agree no more than a couple who is also rich and closer in age. But what is different is the seasons of life and the maturing process that takes place in age-gap relationships. Age differences can either further widen with each challenge that comes up, or depending on the circumstances, come together through determination to be together come what may.
Public melt-downs, arguments, illness, cheating, pregnancy, over-spending, and more have changed relationships between celebrities over the years and will continue. Beyoncé and Jay-Z did well keeping quiet during media interviews about their age gap relationship, but there is a lot said in a song, a movie choice, a photograph, and a public appearance. Not that long ago, Beyoncé's sister Solange rang the alarm similar to the anger that Beyoncé showed in her song, "Ring the Alarm."
As much as no one likes for family and friends to get into our personal business, there are times when they are involved because we put them in it. We conversed with them about our "issues", invited them to our events, attended their functions, assisted them when in trouble and vice versa, and more. When you are connected to so many, who sincerely care about you, they will notice when your relationship isn't right. It is a known fact that many African American men can be controlling. Considering the bad history that the populace has experienced, it isn't any wonder. Now put an age in years on the man acting controlling, and you will soon discover the people, places and things that influenced him to act bossy and verbally or non-verbally abusive.
When a young woman has sex with an older man and produces a child, that too comes with its share of issues. Some women experienced great stress during pregnancy and afterward, because a man was ill-equipped to handle, not only his own mid-life challenges, but the mother's changes as well. Babies face all sorts of health issues depending on how old a parent might be. If there are mental and physical challenges, parents have to face those too.
So if there is anything one takes away from this high profile celebrity couple's age gap relationship, may it be that you look out for the mental and physical issues that arise in your own, address them as soon as you can, don't pretend as if they don't exist, and respect the fact that age does matter sometimes.
Nicholl McGuire
It is obvious that someone, a group or the couple themselves are keeping people interested in reading, writing, and talking about them--it's business. The more star power, the more money. However, what we also see is something unfolding that isn't so business related, two human beings evolving and a relationship supposedly coming to an end every other week. This is particularly interesting since both are not only different in years, but also in the way that they express themselves.
You can see that Jay-Z is a mid-life male who is not like some of the young rappers/businessmen who wear jeans saggy, decorate themselves in tattoos, and talk much slang. He is older, more mature, financially secure, and is interested in his family. But he is just a man. One who has needs just like his wife.
Now when the relationship challenges came up in the media, it wasn't any surprise something similar came up prior to their marriage which involved cheating and then showed up again in recent years. When you live under the media's microscope like they do, you can't afford to mess up. As a celebrity, you don't move through life's journey without little fan-fare, everyone is watching. Cheat on your wife or husband and someone will find a way to get the news back to others. Lie about your whereabouts and the witnesses will report back to the camp especially if they want your wife or husband. Beyoncé is someone's or group's fantasy--powerful men all want a piece of Beyoncé. Her beyond sexy dance moves and attire seem to come across as a sells pitch that lures many buyers. She has big fans out there with large bank accounts that would love to bed her. She is also a good distraction from worldly events as well. If a man is paying attention to this young woman's provocative moves (see the old movie Metropolis), he has lost his train of thought when it comes to issues that sincerely matter, but I digress. Older men, most likely more powerful and older than her husband, want a piece of Beyoncé, she calms them when they view her.
On the other hand Jay-Z and his wife might be growing weary of married life, there is always some grain of truth in rumors. The husband wasn't always a man who had a reverence for women, according to his past rhymes. He also wasn't (and still isn't) a model for the family life either and neither is his wife. They are simply people, not role models. Sometimes even if individuals want to change their ways, a society who expects them to behave in certain ways (especially when money is involved and their brand is at stake) won't let them change.
Middle-aged people who have reflected on their past life decisions might do some things differently depending on what they have accomplished thus far and whether they are satisfied with their achievements which also includes family life--there is no separating them when you have them. The human spirit will always be connected somehow some way no matter who you run off and date or impregnate. Yet, many aging men become bored or grow weary of the stress of family. They look for what they think is a more exciting life elsewhere or they desire a more quiet life and move far away from their past.
Women who are more in love with working than family may never change. Look how much time and energy Beyoncé's team uses to keep her busy! These career-focused women might have experienced some negative things growing up or witnessed the ladies in their family go through many trials. Therefore, they never want to be put in any position where they have to respect, rely, be submissive, or appreciate a man. Thinking back to how Beyoncé was packaged at the start of her career, an independent woman, she isn't showing any signs of settling down anytime too soon. Rather she is still encouraging women to work and work and work. But what happens is that between all of the work, a man is saving much money and doesn't have to work as hard for his family. A woman's life hasn't become easier, it has only become more demanding. Many women are dying before men nowadays.
Yet, as we mature, what we used to want/like/need and more in years past, isn't necessarily what we desire today. The ups and downs of Beyoncé and Jay-Z's relationship have been shared with us through their own songs and you get some idea through media interviews with them and others who know them or know the extended family. For years, the couple managed to overcome some storms, but the aftermath of some of their issues spilled out on the stage.
Being in an age gap relationship has its mental and physical challenges, there is no denying these struggles and not everyone can handle them. Sure, it's nice to be with someone wealthy, charming or beautiful, but there has to be more that one loves/likes/appreciates than the superficial or obvious.
The facts show that Beyoncé and Jay-Z lived-together prior to marriage, experienced a miscarriage, had a baby, became close to President Obama and family during his term, and have received special favor as well i.e.) Beyoncé, like Marilyn Monroe, sang before the President and his wife, visited the White House numerous times, and traveled to places that other celebrities may never see in their lifetimes. Beyoncé and Jay-Z have written and produced many songs that weren't all positive about their relationship as well as others.
With so much accomplishment and much time away from one another (which invites all kinds of distractions), an older man and a younger woman, regardless of their age and wealth, will not always agree no more than a couple who is also rich and closer in age. But what is different is the seasons of life and the maturing process that takes place in age-gap relationships. Age differences can either further widen with each challenge that comes up, or depending on the circumstances, come together through determination to be together come what may.
Public melt-downs, arguments, illness, cheating, pregnancy, over-spending, and more have changed relationships between celebrities over the years and will continue. Beyoncé and Jay-Z did well keeping quiet during media interviews about their age gap relationship, but there is a lot said in a song, a movie choice, a photograph, and a public appearance. Not that long ago, Beyoncé's sister Solange rang the alarm similar to the anger that Beyoncé showed in her song, "Ring the Alarm."
As much as no one likes for family and friends to get into our personal business, there are times when they are involved because we put them in it. We conversed with them about our "issues", invited them to our events, attended their functions, assisted them when in trouble and vice versa, and more. When you are connected to so many, who sincerely care about you, they will notice when your relationship isn't right. It is a known fact that many African American men can be controlling. Considering the bad history that the populace has experienced, it isn't any wonder. Now put an age in years on the man acting controlling, and you will soon discover the people, places and things that influenced him to act bossy and verbally or non-verbally abusive.
When a young woman has sex with an older man and produces a child, that too comes with its share of issues. Some women experienced great stress during pregnancy and afterward, because a man was ill-equipped to handle, not only his own mid-life challenges, but the mother's changes as well. Babies face all sorts of health issues depending on how old a parent might be. If there are mental and physical challenges, parents have to face those too.
So if there is anything one takes away from this high profile celebrity couple's age gap relationship, may it be that you look out for the mental and physical issues that arise in your own, address them as soon as you can, don't pretend as if they don't exist, and respect the fact that age does matter sometimes.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
When the Old Man is Tired of the Young Woman
Some women just make older men more tired than they already are. These men have to contend with their own share of internal issues, but then along comes a younger woman who has a long list of fun things to do, volumes of conversation, a large network of family and friends, and plenty happening in her life. The older man is not ready for this, yet he convinces himself that he is. The young lady is excited about the future and glad to be dating someone older that is until...
You might be that guy who is with someone like the young woman described. But as each day passes by, you are so over the mid-life crisis thing and can bravely admit, "I'm tired. I just want to relax after work. Sit on the couch on weekends and enjoy the television." Absolutely nothing wrong with that if you prefer to be alone or with someone closer to your age who enjoys the same thing. But if you are going to date younger, you will need to stop hoping the young woman will conform; rather, let her go.
Now saying good-bye to a beauty with a lot of energy is no easy feat, but if you want to live a little while longer without the additional stress of trying to keep up with her say, "Adios!" Far too many mature men date younger women and make both parties feel miserable, because they want to control the younger woman. When she wants to fly, the older guy wants to put her back in her cocoon. When she plans to relocate, get educated, try something new, or break up with him, the mature man figures out a way to lure her back to him. If she asks for his support, the older, insecure type worries that his money or time will be in vain and that off she will go with someone younger. This can all be so mentally and physically draining! In time, the old man is seated on the couch tired of putting up a fight, yet he doesn't want his young partner to leave either. Go figure!?
So if you are that mature man who has reached a point where you just don't see it benefiting anymore to date younger, but you still want to keep that pretty young thing around, do yourself and her a favor, (since you are supposed to be the wiser of the two) let her be free!
Nicholl McGuire
You might be that guy who is with someone like the young woman described. But as each day passes by, you are so over the mid-life crisis thing and can bravely admit, "I'm tired. I just want to relax after work. Sit on the couch on weekends and enjoy the television." Absolutely nothing wrong with that if you prefer to be alone or with someone closer to your age who enjoys the same thing. But if you are going to date younger, you will need to stop hoping the young woman will conform; rather, let her go.
Now saying good-bye to a beauty with a lot of energy is no easy feat, but if you want to live a little while longer without the additional stress of trying to keep up with her say, "Adios!" Far too many mature men date younger women and make both parties feel miserable, because they want to control the younger woman. When she wants to fly, the older guy wants to put her back in her cocoon. When she plans to relocate, get educated, try something new, or break up with him, the mature man figures out a way to lure her back to him. If she asks for his support, the older, insecure type worries that his money or time will be in vain and that off she will go with someone younger. This can all be so mentally and physically draining! In time, the old man is seated on the couch tired of putting up a fight, yet he doesn't want his young partner to leave either. Go figure!?
So if you are that mature man who has reached a point where you just don't see it benefiting anymore to date younger, but you still want to keep that pretty young thing around, do yourself and her a favor, (since you are supposed to be the wiser of the two) let her be free!
Nicholl McGuire
Saturday
Drunkenness, Cursing, and Craziness with a Partner...Keep a Sober Mind
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Stop the Drunkenness, Cursing, and Craziness...Kee...: You weren't cautious around your violent boyfriend/partner one night. You slipped up when you drank too much, got angry, or hurled insu...
Uncontrolled PMS & Menopause Issues: A Recipe for Disaster
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Uncontrolled PMS & Menopause Issues: A Recipe for ...: Could it Be That These Health Issues Contributed to Women Being Abusive Toward Men? "What did he do to cause her to hit him? He prob...
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