Older Men, Relationships, and Not Settling

If there is anything that I have learned from dating older men over the years, especially during my twenties, is that most of the time the connections are temporal.  They aren't forever and always love affairs. 

The men I met had issues.  There was the wife, the children, ex-girlfriends, friends with benefits, a criminal past, and more.  Several were controlling types and others were cool, too cool and really didn't care too much about anyone or anything.  I must admit those that I did end up settling with all had the following common traits: straightforward (didn't beat around the bush about what they wanted), had jobs, dressed well, and enjoyed being entertained by me.  Look I wasn't looking for much and that's what they appreciated about me.  They didn't have to buy me either--a couple really couldn't afford to spend much, so I didn't expect much.

When the blogs were invented, they were god-sent, because all the information I kept secret, hurt about, wish I could have, should have, I could air out my grievances, the ups, downs, and advice I wished I had at the time when I was dating much.

Older men can make good friends, but what they can't do is be fathers to young women.  I must admit that there was something within that I deeply desired from my own dad and sometimes the attention, affection, and spoiling they provided made me feel special.  Every little girl has a time in her life that she wants her daddy to just love her for her!  Daddies who don't do their part, unfortunately leave little girls out there--ripe for the picking.  Some guy, whether older or younger, is going to pick from the tree.  He might find a rotten piece of fruit on it too!

A while back, I wrote a non-fiction guide entitled, She's Crazy. It is a book that provides much information about letting go of crazy women.  I really hope you take a moment to read and purchase this work.  Feel free to share it with a buddy who is going through much.

Dating older guys is not as popular as it seems, there are many young women that avoid mature men.  There are pros and cons to dating any man (irregardless of age), and some people have little tolerance for anyone who behaves in ways that go against their personal boundaries too. 

Don't give up your moral compass for anyone or anything, stand your ground whenever you can and be certain that whatever they suggest you really want to do it.  You can save a lot of time, energy, and preserve your youth if you don't settle for the guy or girl who is only 50% your type. 

Shoot for that quality connection, they are out there!

Nicholl McGuire author of She's Crazy and other books.